grrgoyl: (Ewan Moulin)
[personal profile] grrgoyl
Today's home was actually the last one we saw on day four, but I thought I'd separate it out as the most spectacular of the Parade. It's no $6 million property (actually think it's "only" going for $550,000), but it's an exciting new eco-home, ultra green and efficient, and of course super modern.


Welcome to the future





Welcome to the doorbell of the future



The first thing you see when entering is the stairwell, which, I'm not going to lie, is a tad off-putting



The kitchen of the future, which frankly looks a bit cobbled together if you ask me



Maybe all the sales literature is what turned me off



This little critter cost $150! I think he's made of unobtainium



Coffee bar with recycled magazine backsplash



The view from the (kind of tiny) living room



This, believe it or not, is a fireplace. Not sure what fuel it uses (maybe Republican hair clippings), but it could be wheeled about and positioned wherever you wanted it. Imagine escaping the tyranny of the stationary fireplace!



This was kind of cool -- pockets of soil on the wall for growing plants right in your (kind of tiny) living room



Deb wanted nothing to do with this rectangular toilet. You'd think it was designed by the Devil himself for the contempt she heaped on it



The showpiece of the home -- rooftop patio. I've only ever seen these on House Hunters



View



Loved this wood/metal combo in the bathroom



I questioned the need for a urinal AND a toilet. Deb assured me it was one of the reasons she threw out her last boyfriend. In her words, "You've had 40 years to practice with that thing. Why can't you get any of it IN the toilet?"



Shower stall. That's just a water puddle on the floor, which is cement. Wet cement is one of my absolute favorite smells in the world (my dad used to mix his own in the backyard, nostalgia). I'd buy the house just to be able to smell this every morning



Master bedroom. In fact, from what I could tell the ONLY bedroom, despite the house's brochure claiming two. That cowhide lounge chair is insanely comfortable, BTW



Shot from the top floor looking down the stairwell



This is practically it for the basement. Not much chance of a bedroom down here



Did have a very cool ultra-private, shaded back patio -- although perhaps a tad claustrophobic



Unfortunate -- you're looking at a shoddy, sloppy cut-out in the basement bathroom vanity drawer to accommodate the sink plumbing. They probably didn't expect anyone to open the drawer. Wonder if I could get them to knock $5 thou off the price for this?


Final verdict: Works as a life-sized coffee table book, but for day-to-day living? I simply can't picture it. Not terribly cosy and inviting.

And that concludes this year's Parade of Homes! Sorry it was sort of lazy, but the houses were kind of generic and tended to run together. Blame Obama and this economy.

Date: 2011-09-22 10:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfcore.livejournal.com
That damn Obama and his economy!

The critter could also have been made out of wishalloy, eludium or handwavium. They're all pretty expensive materials.

The devil's toilet! It's the end of times D:

Date: 2011-09-22 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grrgoyl.livejournal.com
I know! You know it's bad when there aren't even any decent multimillion dollar homes to choose from anymore. Will no one think of the mid to upper class citizens? GET THIS MADMAN OUT OF OFFICE.

Haha, maybe! Or maybe just plain old stainless steel and an artist with an inflated opinion of himself.

The devil's toilet is the second sign. The first was Obama's election. ;)
From: [identity profile] kavieshana.livejournal.com
I think he's made of unobtainium E, that's not cool at all. They had to cut down the tree of life or Grandmother Willow or whatever to mine that stuff. It should cost at least $300.

Deb's right. You know who's going to buy a house with a square toilet? Spongebob. That's the entire customer base. I wouldn't mind the urinal at all though.

The only good thing about this house is the view. Denver you're not even trying, but congratulations on having nice trees and a lovely skyline with only one smoke cloud.

I didn't see BttFII, though I doubt it

Date: 2011-09-26 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grrgoyl.livejournal.com
Whatever he was made of, I think $150 was a bit steep and it was "no sale!"

Does Spongebob urinate? Wouldn't it just get absorbed back into his sponge body? I never thought in my entire life I would ask such a question. And what do you need a urinal for??

Sure, it's no massive congested Detroit skyline, but I wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating crackers.
From: [identity profile] kavieshana.livejournal.com
I don't know anything about sponges but I generally try not to let my pee reenter any of my other orifices when I urinate. What if...ok, I was going to say for guests, but I think we both know the minute I have my own house I will cease all contact with people IRL. I only meant the urinal + toilet combination doesn't bother me. I prefer the urinal to a bidet, because I'd feel compelled to use the bidet even though I'm not fully sold on the idea but I wouldn't feel compelled to use the urinal.

Act like you don't want some of this:





I like the top picture because it somehow manages to not show any burnt down houses. Here's what will kill that boner you're sporting:

From: [identity profile] grrgoyl.livejournal.com
I may be risking TMI here, but honestly a bidet would be a lot more useful to me than a urinal. I shall say no more.

I like how those postcard views fail to show the seedy underbelly of Detroid. And that's not a smoke cloud, it's an annoying splotch that I just started noticing on my phone pics and I'm none too happy about it since it doesn't appear to have an external source.

You're breaking my brain.

Date: 2011-09-28 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kavieshana.livejournal.com
I would grow flowers in my urinal. I am tactfully ignoring M of that I.

Do you think it might be THAT GHOST THAT'S BEEN TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BODY SINCE YOU WERE A KID BUT YOU DON'T REMEMBER HER BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY PSYCHIC PULLED SOME FORGETFULNESS MOJO ON YOU?!

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