grrgoyl: (Bad Jesus!  Very Bad!)
This probably won't be my best work, but there are some things that need to be said and I'm getting a headache trying to coalesce them into anything coherent. As a consolation, I'm including photos which are always very popular.

First, our terribly gay ferret Xandir has been terribly sick for weeks now. Sick enough to stymie a ferret specialist in New York that Tery has been corresponding with. We believe he has some form of IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) that's giving him diarrhea and alarming weight loss. Tery is barely sustaining him on a repulsive diet of raw liver, raw egg and goat's milk mixed in a blender.

He went into the hospital yet again for another day of IV fluids, and Tery asked how I felt about her bringing the machine home to keep him hooked up overnight. The machine in question is a fluid pump, which is coincidentally also the bane of my existence working overnight as it is the machine that alarms constantly every time the animal moves and causes an occlusion in the line. So you can imagine how thrilled I was at the prospect of having one in the relative peace and quiet of our home.

But the other problem was devising an enclosure for Xandir. With a catheter stuck in his veins, we couldn't have him running about free-range as our ferrets do. We dashed to Target in search of some sort of baby playpen. We were almost big enough Polacks to shell out $40 for a crib-like thing, before Tery came to her senses and discovered the storage bin aisle, with a large $13 tub that would do just as nicely.

Impromptu infirmary


Fortunately Xandir wasn't moving much so we weren't subjected to the interminable beeping that I put up with at the hospital. He was miserable stuck in the tub, while all the other animals were doing their damndest to jump in and join him.

He's doing a little better now, but it is quite demoralizing.

~*~

My check has been cashed by the State Department, which means it's a fairly safe assumption that my passport application has been approved. In anticipation of my trip to England, I'm suddenly craving new T-shirts. I think I deserve them -- I wear boxers and wifebeaters the rest of the year and besides, nothing says American tourist like tacky novelty T-shirts. But I think these are actually pretty cool.

First, this Serenity shirt which I love the most:

Fruity Oaty Bar


Second, this awesome vintage Cure. I think [livejournal.com profile] vagynafondue should buy one for herself and one for Chooch, who WILL grow up to be a Cure fan if he knows what's good for him:

This top is the place where nobody goes


Lastly, and sadly out of stock currently, Shaun of the Dead. Which, on a trip to England, might be a bit like wearing the band's shirt to the concert.

You've got red on you


These shirts and many, many more can be found here.

~*~

I love eBay most of the time. What I don't love is when there's a million of something available, and some berk outbids you on your auction just because it's ending an hour sooner. I believe there are enough auctions of any given item that everyone can have one, but some people would much rather ruin a total stranger's day.

I mention this because our old Sharp Hi8 camcorder died out of the blue a few weeks ago, leaving us not only without access to scads of home videos on 8mm tapes, but with a tape trapped in the camera itself. Without knowing whether the problem was with the battery or the charger or the camera itself, I thought the safest bet was just to get a used, really cheap 8mm camcorder for the purpose of playing our tapes one last time so we could convert them to VHS.

Well. Camcorders, it turns out, have a very high resale value. There's a veritable feeding frenzy going on as we speak on camcorder auctions. There's even a power seller with a constant stream of camcorders up for auction, all beginning at 99 cents. The catch is the seller comes right out and admits that the cameras are "as is" and they don't even run a basic test on them before putting them up for sale. Almost every one of these auctions finishes between $80-$100! I've made some foolish purchases in my time, but if I ever pay $100 for a camcorder that might not even turn on, feel free to suspend my internet privileges.

The upside of this is I could probably get $30-$50 for our completely dead Sharp, unless we have to resort to forcible means to extract the tape.

After losing several auctions I thought no one else would possibly be interested in, in frustration I took the next Buy It Now offer I came across. I probably should have shopped around a little bit more, but I can only take so much failure before I just snap.

~*~

Finally, my new icon is from our latest rental, The God Who Wasn't There. This was a recommendation from my London friend Jeffy, who felt sure such a movie wouldn't even be available in ultra-conservative, radically religious America (I smugly informed him how wrong he was). This is a refreshing change from all the Evangelical Christian documentaries we've been renting. It's more or less scientific proof that Jesus never existed. It was a little too MTV style for Tery's tastes, with flashy graphics and music, but I enjoyed it. One of the most compelling arguments is the similarity "The Greatest Story Ever Told" bears to multiple pagan myths, like Osiris, Dionysus and Odin. "Ah, but OUR resurrection story actually happened, that's the difference," the Christians argue. O-kay.

Also the fact that Jesus fulfills 18 out of 24 of the mythic hero criteria. He's even kind of low on the list below Hercules, Oedipus and Theseus. Also there are a number of other deities who were thought to have been born on Dec 25. The list goes on and on.

Features the superintendent of a Christian school filling our children's heads with all sorts of garbage getting argued into a corner and fleeing the interview, as they always do when they run out of bullshit to spew.

It's only an hour, but some of the juiciest interviews are stuck in the bonus features for some reason, lasting longer than the movie itself. I think you'll agree from this icon that it's worth a looksee.

~*~

One last picture: Kitten Mitten suffering a bit of an identity crisis. Tery thought I shoved her in there for the purpose of this photo, as if I would ever traumatize my baby just for a picture for my blog.

Is she cat or turtle?
This igloo is zoned for ferrets.


~*~

As an addendum but far from an afterthought, HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] kavieshana!!!!!
grrgoyl: (Office Stanley)
Alright, I'm officially through with documentary forays into the lives of Evangelical Christians. My breaking point was reached with our recent rental of Jesus Camp.

[livejournal.com profile] ridiculicious warned me this was scarier than Friends of God. I wouldn't say scarier, just as scary from a different aspect. Jesus Camp focuses on just the overzealous offspring of Evangelicals attending this crazy religious boot camp (which has since been closed down in the wake of the Ted Haggard scandal).

The movie actually has some very funny moments, once you get past the whole terrifying youth brainwashing thing. The boy who is unofficially the focus of the whole film states he was "saved" at age 5. Saved from what??? What black, despicable sins can stain the soul of a 5-year-old? He said he turned to Jesus because he "wanted more" out of life. At age 5. If he sounds years ahead of his time, it's probably because he's only regurgitating what his parents drilled into him since he could understand spoken language.

Then there's Rachael, the 9-year-old who mutters a plea to Jesus to help her bowling game. "Great," Tery said. "A car bomb just went off in Baghdad because Jesus had to help her get a strike."

The Evangelicals harshly denounce Harry Potter (again, no clear cut reasons given for why), yet allow their children to be preached to by talking vegetables (the popular "Veggie Tales" series). In one scene the boys are playing with a flashlight in the dark, acting spooky and telling ghost stories; perfectly normal behavior at camp. Until one of the parents puts an end to their fun on the grounds that God only wants us to focus on the beautiful, pleasing things of this world. Then the next day the children are subjected to a good old-fashioned fire and brimstone lecture that's so vivid and so graphic that it starts them crying, writhing on the floor and speaking in tongues to show how full of the Spirit they are. These kids are going to need some SERIOUS therapy later in life.

We had to pause the DVD until we stopped laughing, however, when the female minister who runs the camp was shown blessing the pews, the roof, the walls, and the PowerPoint presentation. Yes, she said, "Now devil, you stay away from this PowerPoint presentation. We know how you like to mess with the tools of the Lord..." yadda yadda yadda. Speaking of the tools of the Lord, these people have no problem taking advantage of the ease and convenience of computer technology, while simultaneously spitting on and reviling all other manifestations of science. Hypocritical? Christians? No!

But the moment Tery and I really lost it was when little Rachael and her friends approached a group of older black men sitting in a park to try to convert them. She asked one, "If you were to die right now, do you think you'd go to heaven or hell?" He unhesitatingly answered heaven, and they awkwardly excused themselves pretty quickly. "I don't know, maybe they're already Christians or something," Rachael reasoned. Their 9-year-old minds were blown. However, this scene translated easily to South Park to me and Tery. Chef: "Hello, children!" with a song about going to heaven complete with sexually inappropriate lyrics. It is crucial to watch this movie with someone who has a great sense of humor, otherwise it's just chilling and disturbing.

Their rationale for "training" their children so intensely is because they believe all Muslim children are taught how to use hand grenades and automatic weapons from the time they can walk -- a rather ignorant and gross generalization. The female minister also muses that "you can't force children to do anything" (meaning their devout behavior is purely of their own making) -- well, yes and no. But they apparently see nothing wrong with continuing their political movement to force the rest of the country to bow to their agenda.

~*~

Speaking of annoying people with ridiculous beliefs, I wasted most of yesterday reading this thread over at IMDb about why 300 is so "ironically homophobic." I read it out of mild interest because the idea that the movie was homophobic never even crossed my mind. The gay man who started the thread had two sticking points: The fact that Hollywood had "de-gayed" the "most famously gay group of warriors in history," plus he felt the line about Athenians being "boy-lovers" was a gay slur. Go read it yourself if you have an hour or two to kill watching self-styled historians gradually devolve into increasingly puerile name-calling as they debate the true nature of pederasty and what really went on in the ranks of Greek soldiers thousands of years ago. Watch as the argument goes back and forth endlessly and meaninglessly, neither side listening to the other, until the same points are recycled by new combatants who didn't have time to read the first 150 comments.

As for the original poster, I'm as sympathetic to the gay cause as anyone (obviously), but there's such a thing as being TOO sensitive and giving us a bad name by childishly wanting to be represented everywhere, even in movies where it's not relevant and not appropriate. Sorry, my brother. I have to side with the breeders on this one.



I want to move to Europe. Americans need to fucking RELAX.
grrgoyl: (Dylan apoplectic)
If stupidity has no consequences, what will motivate people to get smarter? This weekend, on two different days, at two different locations, I saw two different drivers fail to notice they were in an exit lane and expected the more observant, intelligent members of traffic to come to a grinding halt to allow them back in. I don't know how much clearer the city can make it: right turn only signs, short dotted line between the lanes, big overhead yellow exit sign -- all failed to make an impression. It should go without saying they were both SUVs, who we all know are above the law. No, I say. Stupidity should have consequences. This is why the definition of defensive driving is assuming that everyone else on the road has a big bowl of avocado dip where their brains should be until they prove otherwise. Fortunately this is the assumption I make about most of the human race on a daily basis anyway. Does that mean that I live defensively?

~*~

My new icon is a result of my latest Christmas gift, which arrived last week from JeffyJeff. It's okay -- did you know that Britain celebrates Christmas in February? Jeffy assures me of this and I have no reason to doubt him. At any rate, my present was 3 BBC comedies on DVD. Big Train, which is kind of hit or miss but does feature Simon Pegg; The Mighty Boosh, which is bizarre, surreal, and at times pretty funny; finally, Black Books starring Dylan Moran, which is fabulously funny. True, he played a real tosser in Shaun of the Dead, but on his own he's deliciously dry, snarky, misanthropic and gorgeously Irish. So much so that I was inspired to buy the rest of the series, plus another show How Do You Want Me? plus a standup performance, Monster. A Dylan Moran extravaganza! I'm not saying he's taken Alan Rickman's place (yet), but I've expanded my Bandwagon of Obsessions to a King Cab just for Dylan.

~*~

The other day my doorbell was rung by someone who looked far too much like Sylar for my taste, so I didn't answer it. I then congratulated myself on avoiding a potential serial killer attack. He even came back a few hours later, but I again didn't answer. Sorry, Mister Man -- it will take more than an Office Depot clipboard prop to fool me. And if you're just taking a poll or collecting money or something, I don't want to talk to you either.

~*~

We watched one of the scariest movies I've ever seen: Friends of God, Alexandra Pelosi's roadtrip documentary of Evangelical Christians. Let me tell you, these people are TERRIFYING. It's receiving criticism on IMDb because it "only shows the extremists" and crazies. Maybe so, but it's not as though Pelosi built the drive-thru prayer service (no joke), or the Christian theme park that recreates Biblical locations in miniature dioramas and features a Christ lookalike strolling about wearing a Jabra headpiece to preach. She just filmed what she saw.

The Evangelicals don't even listen to themselves talk. One preacher had a solution for people trying to get into Planned Parenthood through picket lines who complain that the Christians are imposing their beliefs on them. "Explain that you're just telling them the rules of living as set down by the Author of Life, our Lord Jesus Christ." Yes, that's entirely different from imposing your beliefs. Is there any point arguing semantics with a religious extremist?

The most disturbing part was the elementary age victims of "intelligent design" classes, who now believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that man and dinosaurs lived side by side and that evolution has no supporting evidence. I weep for the future.

They only touched briefly on gay marriage, but by then my blood was boiling so badly it didn't matter. Just these people and their pigheaded obstinacy and their singleminded determination to "reclaim America" and drag us all back to "basic Christian values." GRR. I've held a great optimism in the upcoming generation being more openminded about gays, mostly based on what I've read on LJ...perhaps stupidly surrounding myself with likeminded people has created a skewed view of the world. But this documentary shows massive youth rallies with teens chanting ominously in the name of Christ. The comparison to a cult is unavoidable. I took brief comfort in the fact that I was raised Catholic and look at me now! But back then homosexuality wasn't an issue. I never even heard the word, never mind that it was wrong.

I guess I need some reassurance. What do YOU think the trend is? Are the majority of kids today more tolerant because of greater exposure to gays, or are they being brainwashed by all the religion being thrown at them as a result? Please people, give me my hope back....
grrgoyl: (snarry OTP)
Weekend One P.B. (post break-in), and I'm slowly picking up the pieces. I returned to work at the hospital this weekend with a fair amount of confidence, not because I wasn't nervous (although I do refuse to live in fear), but because Tery feels badly enough about me having to replace my window that she's agreed to let me quit if it happens again. Because I hate to admit it, but now that the novelty has worn off of this job, 75% of my motivation for staying is just to make Tery's life easier. Guilt is a powerful tool, and it works both ways. So now I think of it as being one break-in away from leaving this job. If that isn't seeing the cup as half full, I don't know what is.

My new driver's license has arrived just in time for my trip (and I don't look drugged in this one, thankyou), and I've found a new bag that doesn't begin to approach the coolness of the messenger bag I lost, but it will have to do. Everything's coming together nicely *steepling fingers and tapping them thoughtfully*

~*~

It's December 6th and I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping. This is an unprecedented event in my history of Christmas shopping, and it feels pretty damn good. My older sister seems to have been beset with a terminal case of Johnny Depp lust, and I've obliged her with 3 of his movies off her Amazon wishlist. I know I've said it before, but this year I mean it: If she reciprocates with $13 worth of crap off the streets of Mexico™ again, I WILL cut her off this time.

I say "almost done" because I am still in pursuit of the most elusive, but what will be the best ever, gift for Tery. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....the iKaraoke. A microphone that plugs into your iPod, transmitting any song to your stereo sans vocals, turning anything into a karaoke number. Think me a wee bit presumptuous, giving the gift of an iPod accessory without actually owning an iPod? Don't. If I don't get one as a gift, I'm buying myself another one. Make no mistake -- one way or the other, I WILL have my iPod wrongs redressed and possess once more that which was taken from me (I've got my eye on this aluminum beauty, in case anyone feels really, really sorry for me. No? I HAVE to find more fabulously wealthy friends, dammit).

But the iKaraoke is proving to be, as I've said, elusive. Amazon has it but mysteriously won't ship it until after Christmas (update: today suddenly it's "unavailable"). Apple.com has a similar delay. BestBuy.com says "Coming soon!" and CircuitCity.com tries to tempt me with crappy old school karaoke machines instead. Phone calls to not one but two Apple stores had similar results. I suppose it's too much to ask a store devoted entirely to Apple products to actually carry, you know, Apple products. Am I the only one who thinks they're really missing the boat on the highest selling volume time of the year? Perhaps they think they're so hot that Christmas or no Christmas won't make a difference in their sales. I wish I could be the one to teach them differently, but Tery simply has to have this.

~*~

I'm so full of the Christmas spirit this year it's almost painful. Last year we were too poor to buy each other gifts, so didn't even bother decorating. Immensely depressing. This year we're making up for it. We're even in a balcony light war with Tracey FCW and I couldn't be more pleased. I even said hi to her the other day in passing, in the interest of forging new neighbor relations (probably to [livejournal.com profile] kavieshana's disappointment, sorry). Active meth users don't bother decorating so elaborately for the holidays, do they? I hope it isn't just a cover.

Conversely, the Alcoholic has new neighbors below her, renters judging from their lack of consideration. They pump up the jams so loudly you can hear them through the closed windows. I'll bet Tracey's screen door hanging wide (albeit quietly) open is looking pret-ty good to her right about now. Karma certainly can be an evil bitch, my friends.

~*~

Lastly, after [livejournal.com profile] ms_hecubus' hair-tearing announcement that the Harry Potter DVDs might be re-released with new extras, I Googled "Harry Potter commentary" immediately to see for myself. One of the results didn't promise to answer my questions, but I clicked nevertheless, on a commentary on the Harry Potter mania. It turned out to be an open letter from one of these God freaks denouncing Harry Potter and all the Evil JK Rowling has wrought on the World with her bastard Creation. I'm sure these things are a dime a dozen on the internet, but I've never bothered to read one.

And I regret starting with this One. The Author rants and raves about how the Lord wants Him to spread this Message and how it behooves each one of Us to help Him do so. As far as I can tell, the Message is simply, "Harry Potter is Bad." He doesn't produce one Shred of Evidence to support His rant, not a single quote or example, and in fact left me highly Doubtful that He'd even read the Books at all. He had the nerve to say something to the effect of, "If the Columbine High School killers grew up without Harry Potter, how much worse will the Future be with children that have been Raised on it?" And to compare the supposed literacy benefit to Children reading Hustler magazine. "All sins are Equal in the Eyes of God, so I don't think this is too much of an Exaggeration" he writes. This is perhaps a fair statement to make about the Harry Potter stories that I read, but 10-year-olds? Sir, get a grip.

To this I have the same four words I've always had: Lord. Of. The. Rings. An entire generation grew up reading those books and it didn't bring about the birth of the Antichrist. I also refuse to be told what I can and can't read by someone who uses such random and nonsensical Capitalization in their own writing (demonstrated in the above paragraph. Hella distracting and obnoxious). As for Harry Potter fans' serial killer potential, frankly I worry more about children raised by religious fanatics who don't feel the need to provide valid, logical reasons to hate and fear things indiscriminately.
grrgoyl: (american ferrets)
I've grown tired of the CDs in my car, but am too lazy to replace them, so last night on my drive into work I was cruising for some talk radio. Air America seems to have vanished from the dial, or maybe at night they convert to a Hispanic infomercial. So it was that I found myself on a right-wing talk show. I decided to give it a try, in the spirit of fairness and hearing both sides of an argument.

The topic was abortion, not surprisingly. I swear, if not for abortion and gay marriage, no one would give these people the time of day, based on how poorly they handle everything else not related to these 2 issues. The host was urging the "values voters" to get out to the polls this November, using typical party fear tactics to emphasize the dire urgency of doing so. Because if the "anti-lifers" prevail, they will "impose their agenda" on the rest of the country. Well, yes, that is the main reason anyone runs for election, however, he was making it sound like abortion would become mandatory across the board for everyone. Because the pro-choice movement is obviously all about eliminating the human race entirely (in reality, that's what I'M all about. Fortunately for everyone I'm too lazy to form any useful plan to do so. Consider THAT the next time you look down your nose at my DVD collection).

They repeatedly and snidely denounced the existence of "post-abortion stress syndrome" as a legitimate complaint. (I've never had an abortion, however I can imagine for most women there is a good deal of stress involved as well as emotional trauma, and probably a lot of it due to these people and the ways they make it more and more difficult each day to obtain one legally (because there's nothing at all wrong with imposing THEIR agenda). Besides, I would think some sort of medical traumatic syndrome related to abortion would help their cause, no? I guess I'll never understand the right-wing mind.) He went on to claim that some pro-choice legislators said that, if their laws pass, it would become illegal for pro-life views to even be discussed. How exactly would THAT happen? Last I checked it was W. that wanted to change the Constitution, not the Left. It was right about then that I could choke down my outraged bile no further and I was forced to change the channel. Because that's what I do when I hear/see something that offends me. I don't linger on it and wallow in it and try to outlaw it like these people. I look away and get on with my life.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I can't wait. On Monday I get to file my claim against dchatonly and see about getting my money back. I've been watching his feedback score steadily drop daily with glee (although I'd be a damn sight more gleeful if I was not among his many victims), in much the same way I keep an eye on W.'s approval rating. Until today when I noticed he actually gained a few points. "Well, what do you know?" I mused. "Looks like someone got their item after all." This is not the case, however. It appears some idiot (skyy05g) complained, "I don't have the movie yet!!!!!" but gave him a neutral rating. Hey, dumbass....see everyone else giving him a 1 out of 5? How does getting shafted like the rest of us deserve a 3 out of 5?? I consider a neutral score appropriate if, say, you get your item but it takes much longer than expected, or if the deal fell through after some extraordinary circumstances but the seller did everything he could to try to make you happy. If you've got no item and no communication and suspect you might have been ripped off, how do you justify 3 stars??? Percentage-wise (60% stars), that's practically a satisfied customer. I hope we all get our money back EXCEPT skyy05g.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Finally I had a dream that I was hanging out with my friend Laura. We were just about to pop in a movie when I suddenly thought I had to be at an inventory. I was halfway to the shower when I remembered, "Silly! You don't work for RGIS anymore!" I've never woken up with such a huge smile on my face before.
grrgoyl: (Tick)
Last night when the Crackwhore got home it was obvious she got her warning from the city, because her first course of action was to put up a lower hideous bamboo screen in addition to the larger hideous bamboo screen that completely covers the front of her balcony. Yeah, THAT will raise property values. She obviously thinks if she squeezes her eyes closed reeeeeeeeeeeeeaally tight then we'll all just disappear. Perhaps if the screens were soundproof we might, but they aren't, and they sure don't stop the dogs from barking. If anything it makes them crazier because now they only have a small place to peek out on the side. But now she can amass as much fecal material as she wants and none of us will know, except for me because I'm the only one who can still see onto her balcony. It is truly astounding the efforts she will make to keep doing what she's been doing, rather than just do what she should be doing, namely walking those poor dogs once in awhile.

But now the Alcoholic is on a new crusade against the screen...she doesn't want to see horrible, horrible poo, but that screen is an unforgivable eyesore (for the minute it takes her to walk to her unit). For her part, she's taping the dogs with a big, clunky recorder like the one I had growing up. Which is fine except she is also interjecting snarky comments about the barking, instead of just presenting objective evidence that should speak for itself. I'm tired. So very tired. Why can't people just stop being asshats?

But in the midst of it all, as always, Tery made me laugh. I spent so much of the day focusing on the poo that she didn't realize when I switched gears. Namely, I followed this link from [livejournal.com profile] anne_jumps to a post that made my blood run cold (and anyone who is a friend of mine should have a similar reaction) and I immediately leaped into action to mail my elected official. I called Tery to ask if the correct form of address was "Representative Salazar" or "Congressman Salazar" (without telling her why I needed to know). She asked if I was taking the poo battle all the way to Capitol Hill. On the spot she devised some rousing slogans for my march:

"Hey hey! Ho ho! The Crackwhore has got to go!"

"We're here! We hear! Get used to it!"

"It smells! Like hell! It smells! Like hell!"

She so funny. (I didn't bother emailing my Republican Congressman. I did that once before regarding gay marriage and got back a very pleasant letter that basically said, "Thanks for your concern on this issue, but I'm going to do whatever the hell I want anyway.")


In other news, my eye has finally cleared up without leaving any permanent interesting bits of color as I'd hoped. Now it just looks like everyone else's. Damn my exemplary vascular system to hell.

Finally, one for the "Evidence That Brains Are No Longer Mandatory" file: The other day as I was walking out to my car to go to work, an SUV was pulling in. The driver saw me get into my car, yet inexplicably pulled up directly behind me. She was apparently dropping her friend off, but they had to sit and chat first. I stared at them in my rearview mirror, then started my engine. No signs of moving, so I put it in reverse so the lights would go on. Still nothing, so I had to open my door and tell them that yes, I was trying to leave and yes, your big ugly vehicle is completely blocking me (okay, so that second part was only in my head). At last my message got through.

I'm not saying it requires extraordinary intelligence to be able to drive (oh, if only it did!) however, a working knowledge of back-up lights and their significance certainly comes in handy at times. Remember what I said about SUV drivers not being the brightest crayon in the box? We can call this Exhibit QQ.


Addendum: So far every single co-worker I've told about taking gingko biloba for my memory has had the exact same response - "How do you remember to take it?" Guffaw. Really, people, do you all share the same brain?
grrgoyl: (satan)
I am very poor this week, thanks to my damn house payment. So poor, in fact, that I have to resort to toasting bread heel slices for a sandwich in an attempt to trick myself into believing they aren't stale. Clearly some other life essentials have to take the back burner for an indefinite amount of time, and what I am talking about is the HBP (if you have no idea what that stands for, then you are exempt from this warning).

If anyone on my friends list feels the need to write about so much as an uncle named Harry, put it behind a damn cut. I mean it. I HATE spoilers and I hate those that spoil. I'll unfriend you so fast...I think you get the picture.

Edit: The same is true of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I have high hopes indeed for this movie, and I want to know NOTHING going into it. Which I will do in a few weeks.

Speaking of Harry Potter, since no one else has commented on this: Not surprisingly, the new pope wasted no time getting his little papal panties in a twist over the way Sorcery "erodes the soul of Christianity," yadda yadda yadda. It IS surprising that he believes any of Harry's millions of fans give one tiny rat's ass what he thinks. (Hey! "rat's ass"/ "Ratzinger"...that was purely unintentional) Lighten up, Ratzi. A.) Last I checked, Sorcery doesn't actually exist, and even if it did, I'm sure the right wing conservatives would legislate it into a stranglehold anyway ("No special rights for sorcerers!") B.) Aren't we forgetting generations of good, law-abiding folks that grew up on Lord of the Rings? Those books didn't bring about the downfall of civilization, and I seriously doubt Harry will either. C.) Shouldn't we just be happy that kids are excited about reading again instead of rotting their brains with "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas"?

That's enough religious hostility for one night. Peace out.
grrgoyl: (spike)
I just have to say...this morning MSNBC was just blasting the Oscars. They were boring, unglamorous, and Chris Rock in particular was horrible. I don't feel any special fondness for the show yet these comments still bothered me.

The Oscars are ALWAYS boring. I didn't even watch most of them this year. But at least this time they had the decency to contain it in a mere four hours instead of six. I don't care about awards shows themselves. I feel I get my fill from hearing who the winners are the next day; I have no need to see their painfully slow progress to the stage or their drawn out speeches thanking long lists of people I've never heard of. And I am disgusted to no end with the constant criticism of how people look or who they are wearing. Only in Hollywood do people wear their shallowness with such pride (I was most appalled with the TV Guide Channel, who gave Melissa Rivers a computer doodle screen and encouraged her to do things like draw enormous circles and arrows around actresses' cleavage, along with the word "Wow!" if they REALLY rated. What a terrible, terrible idea).

Chris Rock picked on everyone and *GASP* made a joke about the president. How DARE he? a) I remember Billy Crystal doing his share of poking fun at many glitterati, including the president. Maybe it's more objectionable if a black man does it. b) I heard Rock's president joke. Maybe the protestors were so offended because most of what he said was true. c) Jon Stewart makes jokes about the president every day, and I heard a statistic that most young people prefer to get their news from him (myself included). Lighten up, people.

The nastier comments were that Hollywood was a "self-referential" group and largely out of touch with the common folk of America. In this vein a viewer wrote in complaining that Passion of the Christ got snubbed. I saw the movie. It was powerful and moving, but just because it has to do with Jesus doesn't mean it is automatically award-worthy. Besides, I thought Mel did it for the love of his faith, not for Oscar recognition. And it's no secret that Hollywood is run by Jews and liberals so it's hardly surprising it doesn't exactly uphold the Red State values (if those are what they are referring to when they say "common folk"). It is in the middle of Californication. We have Hollywood, you Redsies have Dollywood. Deal.

I think I'm done.
grrgoyl: (XenaKiss)
gay divorce follows gay marriage

Opponents of gay marriage said the divorces, occurring so soon after the weddings, confirm that gay couples are not equipped for marriage.

Yeah, cuz lord knows straight couples NEVER EVER get divorced within a year (or sometimes 48 hours) of the wedding.

"We're not surprised," said Kris Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family Institute, which is fighting for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. "Particularly among male homosexuals, the promiscuity is just phenomenal."

And you know this exactly how, sweetie? Hanging out in the bath houses again? Perv.

HateHateHateHateHate
grrgoyl: (shrek)
Okay, today I've decided to finally try to move on from the election, for purposes of my own sanity. As soon as I finish this post.

Saturday night Tery and I were channel-surfing and I stopped on something called "Gay Republicans." This quickly engrossed us as it looked at the reactions of four Log Cabin members in the course of the 2004 campaign trail. Apparently all had been right with the party until Georgie started all his Constitutional Amendment nonsense. This tore the group in two, as they actually felt shocked and betrayed that he could do this to them after all their support. Didn't Bush care about their 12,000 votes? They had to decide if they were Republicans that happened to be gay or gays that happened to be Republican. So the foursome being documented illustrated the two viewpoints; on the sensible side was a lesbian who had had a commitment ceremony with her girlfriend and a dashing, Rupert Everett-type guy who used to be some big-shot politician in Arizona until his orientation ruined his career. On the side of insanity was a prissy John Waters-type Palm Beach man who I wanted to kick in the teeth, and a Jim Jay Bullock-type asshole who I wanted to kick even harder in the teeth.

The highlights of the show: John Waters describing with great contempt the fact that Jimmy Carter wore sweaters in the Oval Office, and Clinton wore a T-shirt and jeans, as signs of their disrespect for their position: "Disgraceful!" was the exact word he used. Call me pragmatic, but I value my president's effectiveness and good leadership over his fashion sense. The lesbian attending a Republican rally and actually fearing for her safety. And Rupert Everett hiding out at a Revival-type Republican rally where the whole audience wore white to represent the sanctity of marriage, while some wildly misinformed fat guy read out statistics as ludicrous as lesbian partnerships having the highest percentage of domestic violence in the country (Tery leaned over and slapped my leg hard at this point. Then cowered in case I decided to retaliate. Which naturally I did).

But by far the most hateful was Jim Jay Bullock. He proudly considered himself a Republican first and a gay man second or even third. He smugly believed that other gays invited attacks by announcing that they were gay, whereas he could walk into a room and no one would know that he was. Evidently he has no mirrors in his house on top of being totally deaf, because he had a definite lisp and was undoubtedly on the effeminate end of the spectrum. I think the only thing that would cast any doubt at all on his orientation would be the big old Bush/Cheney T-shirt he always wore. He also had the nerve to tell other gays that Bush wasn't saying they couldn't get married, they just couldn't get married to a member of their own gender. He saw absolutely no irony in this statement either. The best part was when he went door to door campaigning for Bush (this was after the Log Cabin party decided to endorse Kerry, so he was flying solo) and got in an argument with a guy over Iraq. The guy's argument was factual, such as the fact that we decided to attack a country that had no large-scale weapons program and no plans to attack us. Jim Jay's only rebuttal (no pun intended) was that he was pulling his "facts" out of his ass, and proceeded to mime pulling things out of his own butt and calling them facts (Tery wanted me to make an icon of it). Demonstrating not only that Kerry supporters are much better informed about the reality of things, but that they are a hell of a lot more mature than Bush supporters as well.

This whole thing led to a discussion between Tery and I. I admit, I honestly didn't know what the political difference is between Dems and Republicans, except that Republicans are evil and the obvious class divide. She explained that Republicans believe in minimal government intervention, minimal taxes, and have a money-oriented "I've got mine" outlook. She said that Alex Keaton on "Family Ties" illustrated the quintessential Republican....humanitarian, but profit-oriented. She said this new party is not Republican as established originally with the heavy religious slant. Which was my next question. They believe in government staying out of our private lives, but it's okay for it to decide who can get married and that a woman can't get an abortion. And they believe in every man for himself, which goes against most religious principles that I grew up with. Neither of us can figure out how its members can reconcile these enormous dichotomies in belief systems, although it might explain why they are so uptight. I also would like to know when the moral, upright citizens who call themselves Republicans started believing that Democrats (or I should say liberals) were hedonistic, orgiastic demonspawn, or how churchgoing folk can think peaceloving, anti-war tendencies are a bad thing. I was raised in a Republican household with good moral values. I turned out bisexual but still consider myself a good person with compassion for my fellow man (though some days this is harder to manage than others) and a strong live-and-let-live attitude. I'd like to think that deep down inside, we really aren't that different from each other in terms of what we want out of life. Making me, I suppose, extremely naive and idealistic.

All this was rolling around in my brain when I went to work yesterday morning, the gaping schism between Republican and religious ideology, and of course the election. I listened to the best of Randi Rhodes on Air America, where she talked to a computer guy who asserted how incredibly simple it would be to program the voting machines to do whatever you wanted them to. Rather than firing me up like this talk normally does, I instead felt an incredible weight of depression on my shoulders. I'm not one to get depressed easily...my opinion is there is no sense getting upset over something you have no control over. But that was precisely what was doing it, the feeling of helplessness that dishonest, unjust shit was going down and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do about it. I spent the entire morning in a deep, deep funk that wasn't helped by talking to my Republican boss who laughed when I said the election was unfair. He said the exit polls were taken in only Democratic areas, explaining how skewed they were. I doubted this was true, but hated him all the same. I shouldn't though....I think he is Republican in the true sense of the word, voting only to keep his taxes down. He doesn't care about all the religious malarky. He did believe all the voting booths should go electronic. I have no doubt I would feel the same way if it meant my candidate won every time. I kept telling myself, and I honestly believe this, that I could handle Bush winning if I believed it was an honest, fair win. But my overdeveloped sense of justice simply cannot come to terms with the margin of error that occurred in this election. I was depressed not because of Bush, but at the thought that the entire democratic process was tainted and untrustworthy. Sure, I'll keep voting, but never again with such a foolish sense of optimism, and this saddened me more than I could bear. I'd like to see a focus in the next four years not so much on coming up with a viable Dem presidential candidate as on voting reform and fixing the margin of error. I don't know what it is estimated at, but 2-3% error is no longer acceptable when that's what the winner wins by.

So I went to see "The Incredibles" after work, despite being dog-tired. I really felt a desperate need to laugh. And I did, though not as much as I had hoped. The movie seemed more action-oriented rather than humor. Maybe I'll watch it again when I'm not in such a bad state of mind.

As of now, I am going to (try to) get over it and move on. This letter that mooselet sent me from the London Times might help. )
grrgoyl: (Default)
Tomorrow is the vote on the Federal Marriage Amendment. Please everyone take the time to speak out against constitutional ratification of hate. Google your state senators and drop them a line (everyone has only two so it doesn't take long). Here is the letter I sent:

I am writing to urge you to vote against this constitutional amendment based on discrimination and intolerance. My partner and I celebrated our 12-year anniversary this month, yet some people think because we are gay that our bond is less meaningful than our heterosexual counterparts who have been together for significantly fewer years. We currently have no wish to formally marry, but should we decide to do so, it would be nice to have this freedom that heterosexuals so often take for granted. Since homosexuality is deemed immoral most vocally on religious grounds, passing this amendment would be a clear violation of separation of church and state. Please take these things into consideration and keep America "the land of the free" for everyone.

Thank you

Your Constituent
Elaine Adamcewicz

You can also go here to sign a petition. Thank you all for your support.

-=Lainey=-
grrgoyl: (Default)
Special thanks to Bear for this. Put THAT in your damn pipes and smoke it, ignoramuses.



BIBLICAL RULES FOR MARRIAGE

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the
President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of
marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With
any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that
God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action.
After all, we live in a time when no-one knows the difference between a
constitutional conservative and a religious/moralistic conservative --
they practically mean the same thing! (the constition was *inspired*,
right?).

So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a
proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage based fundamentally,
*literally* and entirely on biblical principles (remember the interpretive
rule: "God said it, the inspired wrote, I believe it, that settles it"):


A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one
man and one or more women.(Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in
addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron
11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin.
If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden.(Gen
24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the
constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the
widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does
not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise
punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut
25:5-10) *

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it
is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if
he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old),
tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies
only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)


-=Lainey=-
grrgoyl: (Default)
I have a small molten core of fury burning in my chest. My rage is so strong at times I feel like I want to throw up, smash things, hurt somebody, scream at the top of my lungs. I am so angry right now I can't even form a coherent train of thought to write this, but there is no use trying to ignore it either because it will eat away at me. I am feeling this rage today because of an article in the news with the headline "Vatican attacks gays." I am so fucking sick of being told I am a sinner by old men trying to force the world to live by their medieval code of laws. They preach hatred and intolerance in the name of their God, encouraging small-minded people to physically assault and even kill gay people. This is how people behaved in the Dark Ages. I prefer to believe in a god of love, because (at the risk of sounding like a Burt Bacharach song) what this world needs more than ever is love and a bit more tolerance of people that may be different from everyone else. I realize this is radical thinking, but I don't care, I said it. And as for President Bush, he doesn't seem to care that his support of a bill outlawing gay marriage is denying 10-15% of the population their rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Tery and I have no desire to get married, we have friends who got married and it was the Kiss of Death for their relationship. However, we have been together for 11 years now (how many heterosexual couples can say that on the average?) and feel that our commitment deserves some respect and it would be nice if it were recognized legally.

The rhetoric coming out of the Vatican is laughable. They actually said that to raise a child in a gay household is to do violence to him/her, because it restricts the child's "full human development" and deprives the child of a mother or father. Does that make all those single mothers and fathers sinners too? It infuriates me that these people continue to studiously ignore scientific data proving that children raised by gays are just as likely to grow up healthy and heterosexual as "normal" children. I would think they would be even healthier than their "normal" peers, because they would be raised in an environment of tolerance of diversity, and those progressive (i.e. blasphemous) values would be carried into the next generation and make the world a slightly better place.

My biggest argument above all else is with those who believe it is a "lifestyle" and a "choice." If sexual orientation is a choice, doesn't it stand to reason then that heterosexuality is also a choice? How many people remember making a conscious decision to be attracted to the opposite sex? That's what I thought. And who in their right minds would choose to live like this? A comedian once put it very well, likening it to a waiter offering a menu of sexual identities. "Hmmm....hatred, persecution and discrimination? Sign me up!" My clever analogy involves ice cream (but you can substitute any food). My favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla (although I don't mind strawberry as well). However, I despise coffee ice cream (and I'm not a big fan of chocolate either). I didn't actively decide to like vanilla ice cream, it is just my preference. So too, people either prefer to be with the opposite sex or with the same sex. It is just that simple.

I am starting to lose steam here, but I do feel better. At least my fury has stopped boiling over for the time being. And to finish on an up-note, I think all those Bible-thumping hatemongers should read this letter to Dr. Laura, circulated on the Internet a few years ago and still fucking hilarious:



Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

ROFLMAO
-=Lainey=-

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