I'll repeat: it's a women's rugby team shirt worn by women who watch the games. It's obvious. So says my poll of three.

I'm using hyperbole, like I do. He doesn't have AIDS, but he's the sort of dumbass that will forego a condom if there isn't one in the immediate vicinity. He's also a dumbass that lost his virginity with his brother sleeping right next to him.

Your ass doesn't have to be fat enough. Squirrels will make the thing droop.