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Tales from the Kennels and Week of a Thousand Movies!
I haven't had any more shenanigans with the youts, thankfully, which leaves me free to focus again on the more welcome annoyances of my canine charges -- and the less welcome of my daytime co-workers. Yet again I am reminded that the biggest problem with common sense is that it's not at all common. I'll illustrate my point with another amusing poll (a previous one can be found here if anyone missed it).
So....do YOU have what it takes to succeed in the exciting, glamorous world of kennel assistance? Take this quick poll to find out! Don't despair if you don't do well, though -- every question was inspired by someone who already works in the field and got it wrong. Ability to recognize sarcasm might help you out on most of the answers too.
[Poll #1284466]
Okay, I'll give away an answer. That last one actually happened. Someone left that mess for me. I know someone knew about it, because most of the detergent bottles had been put up onto the sink to escape it. Now that's just plain rude, if you ask me (the mess, not the salvaging the bottles).
The weekend before I had two puppies. Remember how much I hate puppies? It was getting down to the end of my shift, I was just finishing up walking everyone, when they both pooped in their kennels, twice each. First one did it. I had no sooner got it cleaned up then the other one did. Got that one cleaned up, then 10 minutes later the first one did AGAIN. I cleaned that one up, turned around and THE SECOND ONE DID AGAIN. I'll admit, I had a bit of a mini breakdown. It wasn't pretty, but damn do I hate the smell of puppy poo, and I felt like I would have it in my nostrils for weeks. And unlike my day shift counterparts, I can't just walk out knowing I'm leaving a huge mess behind.
Speaking of dogs, I was shopping for one of those bark stopper devices after seeing one in the Sky Mall catalog on my trip. Tracey still leaves her dogs out on the balcony, where they bark very loudly at irregular intervals. I figured out they have a clear view of the mailboxes, where of course every single resident comes at least once a day. However, after reading the reviews on Amazon for the unit I was considering, I realized we didn't really have it that bad. The comments are one tale of woe after another, of neighbors with dogs that bark nonstop for hours, of neighbors who go on vacation for weeks and leave their dogs in the yard, of people losing sleep night after night from dogs barking. We don't suffer any of that, so I decided to save my money. I did take comfort in the fact that it isn't just us who hates barking dogs (in some cases even owners were searching for a solution -- novel idea). It also struck me how often non-owners know more about how to take care of a dog (and how much work it involves) than the stupid people who actually get dogs.
Also,
We've got some big-ass flies in that hospital, yo
I killed this Sasquatch as he was sauntering down the hallway like he owned the place.
~*~
I recently discovered graboid.com, a site that provides links for downloading theater-release movies from the internet (I don't see how it can be legal, but their FAQ insists it is). Consequently I've been watching a hell of a lot of movies (unlike before, when I just watched a whole bunch of movies), which makes for nice filler while waiting for Netflix to ship my next Angel discs.
I'm just going to put them all under one big cut, whaddya say? Check out my tags for titles, if you're interested. There's a lot, so they probably won't get nearly the treatment they deserve. But in some cases it will be more than they deserve.
The Incredible Hulk: Unfortunately it took me about three days to get through this because Tery kept coming home and interrupting me, so I don't blame the disjointedness of the plot on the movie itself. Likes: How the opening credits mirrored the TV show credits. How Bruce Banner flicked through the channels and paused momentarily on an old Bill Bixby show ("Courtship of Eddie's Father"). Lou Ferrigno's cameo as a pizza-loving security guard (and dayum, he looks good). The halfhearted attempt to bring in Jack McGee, investigative reporter and Banner's nosy nemesis from the TV show. But most of all the resurrection of David Banner's lonely theme song from the TV series, also very briefly. Didn't Like: The entire ending, where the Hulk and the Abomination are just pure CGI creatures duking it out. *yawn* Oh yeah, but another like is the appearance of Robert Downey, Jr. at the end in an Iron Man crossover, even though I haven't seen Iron Man and probably wouldn't have gotten it at all if![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
swankyfunk didn't squee so loudly and persistently.
Get Smart: As expected, this was very funny. You rarely go wrong with Steve Carell. However, it's also like a Will Farrell movie: you laugh your ass off, but you can't imagine ever wanting to see it again. Again, having only ever watched the opening credits of the TV show, I would have missed the big joke at the end (Patrick Warburton in what I'm told is a spot-on impression of "Hymie the robot") if Tery hadn't turned up and explained it to me.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Being a total johnny-come-lately Guillermo del Toro fan, I was excited for this. He didn't let me down. It was very pretty to look at, fantastic creature effects. However, just like the first I was left a bit in the dust by the plot. It seemed like they were always running off to fight someone and I could never remember who or why (sorry,swankyfunk. It sucks getting old and losing your attention span). I liked that more of the focus was on Abe Sapien, though it bothered me mildly that they didn't use David Hyde Pierce's voice again. It's okay, I like Doug Jones just fine. Also Princess Nuala looked too much like Ally McBeal for my taste.
Stephen King's The Mist: I loved this. It was the only one out of this venture I ran to my computer to buy as soon as it was over (there are others, but being released in November I'm forbidden by Tery to buy them for myself with Christmas coming so soon). Small town folk trapped in a grocery store by barely seen, Cthulhuian creatures, only to slowly turn on each other? Claustrophobia, religious fanaticism at its worst, humans used as incubators Aliens-style? A surprisingly tragic, hard-hitting ending that even I in all my jadedness didn't see coming until it was too late? Where do I sign up? The two-disc edition includes a black-and-white version of the film, the director's "original vision." Very sweet.
I'm also trying to figure out why everyone hated Hancock so much. Most of the reviews complain that the end is a complete departure from what's set up in the beginning. I for one loved it. I loved Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron together again (Michael Bluth and Rita the "special" British girl). I loved the effects. I loved the humor. I loved imagining what it would be like to have all that power, to be invincible and fearless... and an asshole. And yes, I loved when it turned serious and dramatic. Added this one to my Amazon wishlist.
What I didn't love was The Strangers. Boy, what a letdown. Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman are harassed in his parents' upscale (but apparently only having four rooms) summer home by a trio of strangers, for no reason. Of course the usual annoyances apply: The house is isolated, but it's not on the Scottish moors. Why do they never consider heading for a neighbor's house? We never see any of the strangers clearly throughout the movie. Their pranks are the equivalent of tapping them on the shoulder and running away. By about 3/4 of the way through I was just irritated, with the strangers and the couple. Then come morning, when really the only harm that's been done was as a result of the freaked-out pair hurting themselves trying to escape, the strangers have them tied up in chairs. They pull off their masks, but we don't get to see their faces. Because it doesn't matter what they look like. They could look like anyone. They senselessly stab the couple to death and head out of town, passing a pair of choir boys handing out pamphlets. They stop. One of the girls asks for one. "Are you a sinner?" the boy asks. "Sometimes," she answers. No, honey. Killing a completely innocent person in cold blood isn't like stealing the occasional CD. Murder isn't wiped away with 10 Hail Marys.
Most of all it reminded me why, as much as I hate having neighbors so close and all around us, living out in the middle of nowhere would make me feel a lot less safe.
I told myself it wasn't that scary, but that doesn't mean I didn't jump a foot in the air when my UPS man pounded heavily on the front door minutes after it was over, not unlike the way the strangers pounded on the door at the start of the attack.
It was still far better, however, than The Happening. Hoo boy.kavieshana tried to warn me, even spoiled the twist for me, and I refused to listen. The trees are killing people, or more specifically producing an airborne toxin that gets people to kill themselves. It looks like M. Night ran out of ideas and raided his film school journal. Was I supposed to be scared by Marky Mark, et.al. (won't use "Funky Bunch," that would be stealing from elsewhere on my F-list) running to stay ahead of the breeze in a windswept field? Really, M. Night? You've started smoking with George Lucas, it seems. At least Betty Buckley is still getting work, as a fairly convincing creepy old woman cut off from the world. She was the only worthwhile thing in the movie. I promise to listen to you from now on, Nicole, forgive me.
Burn After Reading: Another huge letdown. Again, I ignored the abysmal review this got in Entertainment Weekly, because I'M a Coen Bros fan. It started out well enough. Frances McDormand was good for a few laughs, if a tad over-the-top. Brad Pitt was hilarious, if a bit forced in his idiocy. Much heavier on the Malkovich than the trailer indicated, which would have thrilled me if it were Rickman instead. George Clooney was the shining star in the cast, though still a caricature. There's one very surprising plot twist (I won't give it away) and then the movie just seems to flounder, just completely derails. The ending is literally a summing up of what happened to everyone off-screen, then boom. Roll credits. What?? Are you kidding me, Joel and Ethan? I'm really glad I didn't spend $8 to see this in the theater. It's bad enough we set aside a whole evening to watch it instead of our rapidly-backlogging Tivo lineup.
Tropic Thunder: I blame my ambivalent reaction to this on an exceptionally poor quality bootleg job. I watched it with Tery and spent most of the movie flinching at how awful it looked. We might need to actually rent this (though I doubt I could interest her again). I WOULD, however, pay good money to see the film in the faux trailer, Satan's Alley. Oh my god, Robert Downey, Jr. and Tobey Maguire are hot together (and the priest angle didn't hurt either).
~*~
Finally, in the absence of any new Kitten Mittens material, I leave you instead with "The Minky Schminky Song." It's short and features the Mitten herself, purring despite the look of disgust she's shooting the camera.
Go ahead and sue me, John Williams.
So....do YOU have what it takes to succeed in the exciting, glamorous world of kennel assistance? Take this quick poll to find out! Don't despair if you don't do well, though -- every question was inspired by someone who already works in the field and got it wrong. Ability to recognize sarcasm might help you out on most of the answers too.
[Poll #1284466]
Okay, I'll give away an answer. That last one actually happened. Someone left that mess for me. I know someone knew about it, because most of the detergent bottles had been put up onto the sink to escape it. Now that's just plain rude, if you ask me (the mess, not the salvaging the bottles).
The weekend before I had two puppies. Remember how much I hate puppies? It was getting down to the end of my shift, I was just finishing up walking everyone, when they both pooped in their kennels, twice each. First one did it. I had no sooner got it cleaned up then the other one did. Got that one cleaned up, then 10 minutes later the first one did AGAIN. I cleaned that one up, turned around and THE SECOND ONE DID AGAIN. I'll admit, I had a bit of a mini breakdown. It wasn't pretty, but damn do I hate the smell of puppy poo, and I felt like I would have it in my nostrils for weeks. And unlike my day shift counterparts, I can't just walk out knowing I'm leaving a huge mess behind.
Speaking of dogs, I was shopping for one of those bark stopper devices after seeing one in the Sky Mall catalog on my trip. Tracey still leaves her dogs out on the balcony, where they bark very loudly at irregular intervals. I figured out they have a clear view of the mailboxes, where of course every single resident comes at least once a day. However, after reading the reviews on Amazon for the unit I was considering, I realized we didn't really have it that bad. The comments are one tale of woe after another, of neighbors with dogs that bark nonstop for hours, of neighbors who go on vacation for weeks and leave their dogs in the yard, of people losing sleep night after night from dogs barking. We don't suffer any of that, so I decided to save my money. I did take comfort in the fact that it isn't just us who hates barking dogs (in some cases even owners were searching for a solution -- novel idea). It also struck me how often non-owners know more about how to take care of a dog (and how much work it involves) than the stupid people who actually get dogs.
Also,
We've got some big-ass flies in that hospital, yo
I killed this Sasquatch as he was sauntering down the hallway like he owned the place.
~*~
I recently discovered graboid.com, a site that provides links for downloading theater-release movies from the internet (I don't see how it can be legal, but their FAQ insists it is). Consequently I've been watching a hell of a lot of movies (unlike before, when I just watched a whole bunch of movies), which makes for nice filler while waiting for Netflix to ship my next Angel discs.
I'm just going to put them all under one big cut, whaddya say? Check out my tags for titles, if you're interested. There's a lot, so they probably won't get nearly the treatment they deserve. But in some cases it will be more than they deserve.
The Incredible Hulk: Unfortunately it took me about three days to get through this because Tery kept coming home and interrupting me, so I don't blame the disjointedness of the plot on the movie itself. Likes: How the opening credits mirrored the TV show credits. How Bruce Banner flicked through the channels and paused momentarily on an old Bill Bixby show ("Courtship of Eddie's Father"). Lou Ferrigno's cameo as a pizza-loving security guard (and dayum, he looks good). The halfhearted attempt to bring in Jack McGee, investigative reporter and Banner's nosy nemesis from the TV show. But most of all the resurrection of David Banner's lonely theme song from the TV series, also very briefly. Didn't Like: The entire ending, where the Hulk and the Abomination are just pure CGI creatures duking it out. *yawn* Oh yeah, but another like is the appearance of Robert Downey, Jr. at the end in an Iron Man crossover, even though I haven't seen Iron Man and probably wouldn't have gotten it at all if
swankyfunk didn't squee so loudly and persistently. Get Smart: As expected, this was very funny. You rarely go wrong with Steve Carell. However, it's also like a Will Farrell movie: you laugh your ass off, but you can't imagine ever wanting to see it again. Again, having only ever watched the opening credits of the TV show, I would have missed the big joke at the end (Patrick Warburton in what I'm told is a spot-on impression of "Hymie the robot") if Tery hadn't turned up and explained it to me.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Being a total johnny-come-lately Guillermo del Toro fan, I was excited for this. He didn't let me down. It was very pretty to look at, fantastic creature effects. However, just like the first I was left a bit in the dust by the plot. It seemed like they were always running off to fight someone and I could never remember who or why (sorry,
swankyfunk. It sucks getting old and losing your attention span). I liked that more of the focus was on Abe Sapien, though it bothered me mildly that they didn't use David Hyde Pierce's voice again. It's okay, I like Doug Jones just fine. Also Princess Nuala looked too much like Ally McBeal for my taste.Stephen King's The Mist: I loved this. It was the only one out of this venture I ran to my computer to buy as soon as it was over (there are others, but being released in November I'm forbidden by Tery to buy them for myself with Christmas coming so soon). Small town folk trapped in a grocery store by barely seen, Cthulhuian creatures, only to slowly turn on each other? Claustrophobia, religious fanaticism at its worst, humans used as incubators Aliens-style? A surprisingly tragic, hard-hitting ending that even I in all my jadedness didn't see coming until it was too late? Where do I sign up? The two-disc edition includes a black-and-white version of the film, the director's "original vision." Very sweet.
I'm also trying to figure out why everyone hated Hancock so much. Most of the reviews complain that the end is a complete departure from what's set up in the beginning. I for one loved it. I loved Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron together again (Michael Bluth and Rita the "special" British girl). I loved the effects. I loved the humor. I loved imagining what it would be like to have all that power, to be invincible and fearless... and an asshole. And yes, I loved when it turned serious and dramatic. Added this one to my Amazon wishlist.
What I didn't love was The Strangers. Boy, what a letdown. Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman are harassed in his parents' upscale (but apparently only having four rooms) summer home by a trio of strangers, for no reason. Of course the usual annoyances apply: The house is isolated, but it's not on the Scottish moors. Why do they never consider heading for a neighbor's house? We never see any of the strangers clearly throughout the movie. Their pranks are the equivalent of tapping them on the shoulder and running away. By about 3/4 of the way through I was just irritated, with the strangers and the couple. Then come morning, when really the only harm that's been done was as a result of the freaked-out pair hurting themselves trying to escape, the strangers have them tied up in chairs. They pull off their masks, but we don't get to see their faces. Because it doesn't matter what they look like. They could look like anyone. They senselessly stab the couple to death and head out of town, passing a pair of choir boys handing out pamphlets. They stop. One of the girls asks for one. "Are you a sinner?" the boy asks. "Sometimes," she answers. No, honey. Killing a completely innocent person in cold blood isn't like stealing the occasional CD. Murder isn't wiped away with 10 Hail Marys.
Most of all it reminded me why, as much as I hate having neighbors so close and all around us, living out in the middle of nowhere would make me feel a lot less safe.
I told myself it wasn't that scary, but that doesn't mean I didn't jump a foot in the air when my UPS man pounded heavily on the front door minutes after it was over, not unlike the way the strangers pounded on the door at the start of the attack.
It was still far better, however, than The Happening. Hoo boy.
kavieshana tried to warn me, even spoiled the twist for me, and I refused to listen. The trees are killing people, or more specifically producing an airborne toxin that gets people to kill themselves. It looks like M. Night ran out of ideas and raided his film school journal. Was I supposed to be scared by Marky Mark, et.al. (won't use "Funky Bunch," that would be stealing from elsewhere on my F-list) running to stay ahead of the breeze in a windswept field? Really, M. Night? You've started smoking with George Lucas, it seems. At least Betty Buckley is still getting work, as a fairly convincing creepy old woman cut off from the world. She was the only worthwhile thing in the movie. I promise to listen to you from now on, Nicole, forgive me.Burn After Reading: Another huge letdown. Again, I ignored the abysmal review this got in Entertainment Weekly, because I'M a Coen Bros fan. It started out well enough. Frances McDormand was good for a few laughs, if a tad over-the-top. Brad Pitt was hilarious, if a bit forced in his idiocy. Much heavier on the Malkovich than the trailer indicated, which would have thrilled me if it were Rickman instead. George Clooney was the shining star in the cast, though still a caricature. There's one very surprising plot twist (I won't give it away) and then the movie just seems to flounder, just completely derails. The ending is literally a summing up of what happened to everyone off-screen, then boom. Roll credits. What?? Are you kidding me, Joel and Ethan? I'm really glad I didn't spend $8 to see this in the theater. It's bad enough we set aside a whole evening to watch it instead of our rapidly-backlogging Tivo lineup.
Tropic Thunder: I blame my ambivalent reaction to this on an exceptionally poor quality bootleg job. I watched it with Tery and spent most of the movie flinching at how awful it looked. We might need to actually rent this (though I doubt I could interest her again). I WOULD, however, pay good money to see the film in the faux trailer, Satan's Alley. Oh my god, Robert Downey, Jr. and Tobey Maguire are hot together (and the priest angle didn't hurt either).
~*~
Finally, in the absence of any new Kitten Mittens material, I leave you instead with "The Minky Schminky Song." It's short and features the Mitten herself, purring despite the look of disgust she's shooting the camera.
Go ahead and sue me, John Williams.