I'm really sorry to hear that you have been going through this sort of struggle with your family for all of your life. I think this sentence: "I assured her repeatedly I was used to it, that it's how it's been my whole life. But her reaction made me think for the first time perhaps that didn't make it right." was a really great thing to come to terms and realization about.

Too often it's true that we simply deal with things and don't think much of it, because that's the way they are. But it doesn't mean that it should be that way or that it has to. I'm also glad that your sister took some stands throughout the trip as well. Sometimes you just can't change who people are. It sounds to me that they are so insecure somewhere in their own selves that they have created this self absorbed facade to try and mask what they may actually be projecting. The more you draw attention to yourself in the ways and discussions you want, the more people focus on what you're saying and less about what they're actually noticing in between the small talk, you know?

I don't think it's personal on you or your sister, but more so personal about them. A way to hide in self absorption.

I am glad that you listen to yourself<3