Movies, movies, movies, movies, movies

Now, as promised, a buttload of movies no one cares about.

Cutting just in case somebody does, and yes for spoilers.

( ::Drag Me to Hell:: (yes, do it, please) )

In summary, Sam Raimi is a taste I never really acquired. Far be it from me to diss a cult favorite, but his movies are supposed to be funny yet terrifying and succeed at neither for me.

~*~

Year One:

I won't bother to cut this one because it will be short and non-spoilery. Jack Black and Michael Cera are cavemen who somehow wander into Biblical times with a goal common to all men ever since: to not be seen as complete losers and maybe get laid.

I thought this was HI-LA-RIOUS. But I also laughed mightily when I subversively ordered Paul Blart: Mall Cop on Blu-ray (I thought that movie was funny, but not nearly as funny as ordering it on Blu-ray when the rest of civilization apparently loathed it so deeply). I recommend Kevin James in high def if you have the means.

So yeah, this went straight to my Amazon Christmas wishlist. But while I was over there I couldn't resist checking out some reviews. Some people agreed with me, the ones who went in with low expectations and just wanting something silly after a hard day at work. The vast majority, however, covered the spectrum from disgusted to outraged. Puzzling were the people quibbling over the complete lack of historical accuracy -- were they hoping for a Cliff notes version of a history class for their kids? Still more perplexing were the people who claimed to be lifelong Jack Black fans (wait, I'm not done) who felt this was far beneath him and a complete betrayal of his fans. They talked like he was coming from a stint in Shakespearean theater or something. Like how I imagine I would feel if Rickman suddenly decided to star in Jackass: The Movie. I wanted to smack every last one of them.

The most offensive was a guy speculating on Michael Cera's sexuality because of his tendency to play awkward geekboys who find it so hard to get with girls. I guess by his reasoning all nerds must be gay. Him I wanted to smack hardest of all.

But yeah, this one is worth at least a rental. Just be warned, it's no Twelfth Night.

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Another winner is Zombieland. Tery and I both called this America's answer to Shaun of the Dead, only a "buddy road trip movie...with zombies." Funny, action-packed, romantic (or dare I say bro-mantic?) with a kick-ass soundtrack. In fact, the only way it could have been better was if Michael Cera had starred instead of Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland...some sort of witty comment should go here), but what can you do? Not particularly scary per se (until you get to the very malevolent-looking zombie clown at the end that was pictured in every single article about the movie ever written)

Just in case you missed it

but the "Rules of Zombieland" devised by our hero popping up in 3D throughout the movie were very Stranger Than Fiction, very Fight Club. Me likey. Sadly, this won't be out on DVD until February 2010, as I learned when I rushed to add it to my wishlist.

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( ::The Fourth Kind:: )

When Tery asked how I liked the movie, my only comment was, "Well, I'm 6 bucks poorer" (thank god for matinees). Don't waste your money on this. Rent instead Fire in the Sky if you want a truly terrifying alien abduction film.

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Since it was Halloween I was reminded of the After Dark Horrorfest: 8 Films To Die For, that I've had such a love/hate relationship with in the past. My Netflix queue was looking kind of...empty, so I decided to take the series back one last time.

( ::1. From Within:: )

As Horrorfest films go, I've certainly seen far, far worse. It reminded me strongly of the Buffy episode "Gingerbread," where the self-righteous and bloodthirsty Christians are scarier than the monsters. I like movies that do this, it reinforces my already established opinion of religious fanatics.

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( ::2. Autopsy:: )

Apart from the name Autopsy making really little or no sense, this was also a surprisingly good offering from the Horrorfest. Gory but not cartoon gory like Sam Raimi. Violent but not excessively torture killer violent like Hostel (well, apart from one scene).

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( ::3. The Broken:: )

Again, this movie continues the trend of slowly, tentatively restoring my faith in this series. Of course, there are still five more that could easily shatter it again. We're not out of the woods yet.

~*~

Haven't seen the movie yet, but after seeing this trailer twice I've decided it might be worth a look-see. But I'm also a sucker for a really awesome song in a trailer, in this case Placebo's redo of "Running Up That Hill." Of course, it works a lot better with that throbbing bass pumping on movie theater speakers.

C'mon, it can't be sillier than Twilight.