![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylWeekend at the kennels would've been damn near perfect if not for Star. Star is a teacup poodle whose owner, elderly and probably a shut-in judging from Star, died recently, leaving the dog to her unfortunate daughter. Now there isn't enough attention on the planet to make this dog happy. She expresses her loneliness in a screeching, wailing bark that sounds like a combination newborn infant and the neediest, whiniest dog you can possibly imagine -- my two favorite things in the world. It would have been more merciful for all of us if she'd been buried with her owner, Egyptian style. I felt bad thinking these things, until Tery told me Monday that another employee, who generally has no problems with dogs whatsoever, was thinking similar canicidal thoughts after a few hours with little Star.
I had another teacup poodle (Nikko), much quieter than Star, and two standard poodles, Paris and Marseilles (I wish I were kidding). Paris and Marseilles were more vicious and aggressive than any German shepherd I've ever had, barking and snarling at me from the moment I walked downstairs. "Fine," I thought. "We'll just see who doesn't get to go pee tonight." I did my usual trick of saving them for last, giving them a chance to see all the other well-behaved dogs go out with me so they could learn the way of things in my kennel kingdom. Sure enough, by the time I got back to them they had calmed down and trotted straight out with no guff whatsoever. Getting them back in was a bit trickier, as they both sat staring at me, moving only from one end of the hallway to the other like a cow herd of two and refusing to go anywhere near their kennel. I finally figured out leashing Paris (who was a lot more easygoing of the two) got Marseilles to follow. Score Elaine:1 Canines: Nil.
~*~
We have a neighbor in our complex who still has their Christmas lights on, February practically gone. I first noticed in the mornings when I returned home that their string of porch lights and tree were still lit. Now it appears the porch string has died but the tree blazes on. Furthermore it's on 24 hours a day, leading me to wild speculation. Are they dead inside? Were they dragged off to prison with so little warning that they couldn't turn off their tree? Should someone be called regarding this? If so, why are none of their closer neighbors concerned?
~*~
Tery left today, back to Connecticut for a whole week. That means I get to have a clean house for a whole week. I told her, it's not that I wish we weren't together; I just wish she didn't live with me. Clutter has a way of accumulating when she's home, which is odd considering all she does is watch TV in her free time.
Anyway, she had a bit of an anxiety attack Sunday night. She said she felt some foreboding about this trip, that something bad was going to happen. She was also depressed about the fact that the trip had to end, even though she hadn't packed her bags yet. I did my best to calm her down and we went to sleep.
Monday she felt better. She was ready to pack and feeling good about things. We watched the last episode of Lost on the disc to get it back to Netflix and she started packing. Suddenly I heard cries of distress from the bathroom. Her tooth had broken off. This isn't as surprising as it sounds; she had her first root canal last week and was scheduled to get this one worked on as soon as she got back. But here it was, 9:00 at night and we were supposed to leave at 7 a.m. to catch her plane. I was skeptical anything could be done.
She was flipping out, however. She wasn't in any pain, but it had left a large, obvious gap just behind her canine on that side. She kept going on about how her family couldn't see her like that. I couldn't determine if she was more upset about the prospect of pain or the psychological damage that would be caused by her family's apparently merciless teasing. As someone who has had three root canals and once lost a filling at work that resulted in instant agony so profound I couldn't even open my mouth, I probably was less sympathetic than I should have been. "I told you something bad was going to happen! I TOLD YOU." Yes, well given the choice between losing a bad tooth and her plane falling out of the sky, I'll take the gap in her mouth.
I got her to call her dentist and leave a message with the answering service, who promised a "call-back" from the "on-call doctor." This call never came. What kind of company dangles the promise of an after-hours doctor that doesn't exist? (Perfect Teeth, that's who)
On her mother's advice we got her a flight later in the afternoon, for a mere $100 ticket change fee. Thanks, Northwest. Thanks for punishing her for having a medical emergency. Like she's changing her plans just for shits and giggles. Like it isn't bad enough she'll be wasting an entire day traveling instead of only half a day.
Once the new game plan was in place, she started to calm down. From there it was a short step to insisting I take photos and video of her "shit tooth" (a term coined by my sister, who once went to a strip club and saw an exotic dancer who thought she was all that, but had a disgusting shit tooth).
She showed up on her dentist's doorstep as soon as they opened (they may be liars about their after-hour care, but they're still the only doctor her lame insurance will let her see) and they had her fixed in less than an hour. When she returned all smiles, I rubbed it in. "I TOLD you everything would be fine. You didn't believe me." "Yes I did," she protested, "except...." "Except you didn't. You don't think I know anything." Score Elaine: 1 Tery: Nil.
Before and after pictures at Tery's request, in case anyone else doesn't know about the marvelous advances made in dental technology over the last 20 years:
~*~
Then on the way to the airport I switched lanes from the middle to the left, using my indicator to give plenty of warning. I saw the fucking SUV coming up behind me but didn't realize he was going, like, 100. He didn't even slow down, just swerved into the breakdown lane, missing me by inches, the same margin by which he missed the cop who had pulled someone else over into the breakdown lane. I don't know how the cop could have not seen that highly illegal maneuver performed at a highly illegal speed, but the fucker got away. Anyone else care to defend the poor, unfairly maligned SUV drivers?
~*~
On a less angry note, Run Fatboy Run with Simon Pegg and Dylan Moran is coming to US theaters March 28th. It came out on DVD in the UK two days ago. Guess who isn't sitting around waiting for stupid American theaters to get with the times?
I had another teacup poodle (Nikko), much quieter than Star, and two standard poodles, Paris and Marseilles (I wish I were kidding). Paris and Marseilles were more vicious and aggressive than any German shepherd I've ever had, barking and snarling at me from the moment I walked downstairs. "Fine," I thought. "We'll just see who doesn't get to go pee tonight." I did my usual trick of saving them for last, giving them a chance to see all the other well-behaved dogs go out with me so they could learn the way of things in my kennel kingdom. Sure enough, by the time I got back to them they had calmed down and trotted straight out with no guff whatsoever. Getting them back in was a bit trickier, as they both sat staring at me, moving only from one end of the hallway to the other like a cow herd of two and refusing to go anywhere near their kennel. I finally figured out leashing Paris (who was a lot more easygoing of the two) got Marseilles to follow. Score Elaine:1 Canines: Nil.
~*~
We have a neighbor in our complex who still has their Christmas lights on, February practically gone. I first noticed in the mornings when I returned home that their string of porch lights and tree were still lit. Now it appears the porch string has died but the tree blazes on. Furthermore it's on 24 hours a day, leading me to wild speculation. Are they dead inside? Were they dragged off to prison with so little warning that they couldn't turn off their tree? Should someone be called regarding this? If so, why are none of their closer neighbors concerned?
~*~
Tery left today, back to Connecticut for a whole week. That means I get to have a clean house for a whole week. I told her, it's not that I wish we weren't together; I just wish she didn't live with me. Clutter has a way of accumulating when she's home, which is odd considering all she does is watch TV in her free time.
Anyway, she had a bit of an anxiety attack Sunday night. She said she felt some foreboding about this trip, that something bad was going to happen. She was also depressed about the fact that the trip had to end, even though she hadn't packed her bags yet. I did my best to calm her down and we went to sleep.
Monday she felt better. She was ready to pack and feeling good about things. We watched the last episode of Lost on the disc to get it back to Netflix and she started packing. Suddenly I heard cries of distress from the bathroom. Her tooth had broken off. This isn't as surprising as it sounds; she had her first root canal last week and was scheduled to get this one worked on as soon as she got back. But here it was, 9:00 at night and we were supposed to leave at 7 a.m. to catch her plane. I was skeptical anything could be done.
She was flipping out, however. She wasn't in any pain, but it had left a large, obvious gap just behind her canine on that side. She kept going on about how her family couldn't see her like that. I couldn't determine if she was more upset about the prospect of pain or the psychological damage that would be caused by her family's apparently merciless teasing. As someone who has had three root canals and once lost a filling at work that resulted in instant agony so profound I couldn't even open my mouth, I probably was less sympathetic than I should have been. "I told you something bad was going to happen! I TOLD YOU." Yes, well given the choice between losing a bad tooth and her plane falling out of the sky, I'll take the gap in her mouth.
I got her to call her dentist and leave a message with the answering service, who promised a "call-back" from the "on-call doctor." This call never came. What kind of company dangles the promise of an after-hours doctor that doesn't exist? (Perfect Teeth, that's who)
On her mother's advice we got her a flight later in the afternoon, for a mere $100 ticket change fee. Thanks, Northwest. Thanks for punishing her for having a medical emergency. Like she's changing her plans just for shits and giggles. Like it isn't bad enough she'll be wasting an entire day traveling instead of only half a day.
Once the new game plan was in place, she started to calm down. From there it was a short step to insisting I take photos and video of her "shit tooth" (a term coined by my sister, who once went to a strip club and saw an exotic dancer who thought she was all that, but had a disgusting shit tooth).
She showed up on her dentist's doorstep as soon as they opened (they may be liars about their after-hour care, but they're still the only doctor her lame insurance will let her see) and they had her fixed in less than an hour. When she returned all smiles, I rubbed it in. "I TOLD you everything would be fine. You didn't believe me." "Yes I did," she protested, "except...." "Except you didn't. You don't think I know anything." Score Elaine: 1 Tery: Nil.
Before and after pictures at Tery's request, in case anyone else doesn't know about the marvelous advances made in dental technology over the last 20 years:
~*~
Then on the way to the airport I switched lanes from the middle to the left, using my indicator to give plenty of warning. I saw the fucking SUV coming up behind me but didn't realize he was going, like, 100. He didn't even slow down, just swerved into the breakdown lane, missing me by inches, the same margin by which he missed the cop who had pulled someone else over into the breakdown lane. I don't know how the cop could have not seen that highly illegal maneuver performed at a highly illegal speed, but the fucker got away. Anyone else care to defend the poor, unfairly maligned SUV drivers?
~*~
On a less angry note, Run Fatboy Run with Simon Pegg and Dylan Moran is coming to US theaters March 28th. It came out on DVD in the UK two days ago. Guess who isn't sitting around waiting for stupid American theaters to get with the times?
