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Emergency Vehicles and Road Rage
Feb. 4th, 2005 09:55 amDriving to work last night I was waiting to turn out onto Parker Road, a 6-lane, insanely busy thoroughfare that wants to be a major highway but isn't quite; which you couldn't tell at all based on the average speed of the people using it. Trying to work through this morass were four emergency vehicles, cops, ambulances, sirens blazing. To my astonishment and disgust, no one was pulling over or stopping for them, just driving alongside them in their own lane. I can't begin to imagine what was going through these selfish peoples' minds, or maybe they were too wrapped up in cell phone conversations.
After the four had passed I entered the stream, only to stop further up because a firetruck was trying to pull out of a notoriously difficult intersection just before the on-ramp to the highway. Again, no one else was letting him through. These people had better pray I never become Ruler of the World, because if I do my first order of business will be to see to it that every last one of them or someone they love dies because their ambulance is stuck in traffic, surrounded by self-centered, idiotic drivers.
I could see the accident just past the on-ramp and under the overpass. I headed for the on-ramp but just then a minivan (who I know for a fact was one of the offenders) came to a complete stop ON THE RAMP to rubberneck in front of me. Sir, if you don't get your ugly-ass minivan moving, so help me I will ram you and give you a front row seat to your very own car wreck, you stupid fuck. Is exactly what I thought. That and I wondered where the Darwin Principle was when you needed it, and how many times a day the dangerously moronic are saved by the actions of smarter people.
We will wave to them from such great
heights
"Come down now," they will saaaaaayeyahay.
But everything looks perfect from far a-
way
"Come down now," but we will staaaaaaayeyahay.
Nope, I'm sorry. The healing power of Garden State can only go so far.
P.S.: Note to the owner of the Ford Excursion, our neighbor who moved in a week ago and is already pissing me off: Obviously you are incapable of parking your behemoth of a vehicle properly, i.e. without crowding into the spaces on either side, it being roughly the size of a New York City studio apartment. Do you think you might stop taking up 1-1/2 of the primo parking spaces in front of the building and park off to the side where no one would mind so much? But I guess if you had that level of sensitivity and consideration you wouldn't have bought such a ridiculous, impractical car to begin with.
After the four had passed I entered the stream, only to stop further up because a firetruck was trying to pull out of a notoriously difficult intersection just before the on-ramp to the highway. Again, no one else was letting him through. These people had better pray I never become Ruler of the World, because if I do my first order of business will be to see to it that every last one of them or someone they love dies because their ambulance is stuck in traffic, surrounded by self-centered, idiotic drivers.
I could see the accident just past the on-ramp and under the overpass. I headed for the on-ramp but just then a minivan (who I know for a fact was one of the offenders) came to a complete stop ON THE RAMP to rubberneck in front of me. Sir, if you don't get your ugly-ass minivan moving, so help me I will ram you and give you a front row seat to your very own car wreck, you stupid fuck. Is exactly what I thought. That and I wondered where the Darwin Principle was when you needed it, and how many times a day the dangerously moronic are saved by the actions of smarter people.
We will wave to them from such great
heights
"Come down now," they will saaaaaayeyahay.
But everything looks perfect from far a-
way
"Come down now," but we will staaaaaaayeyahay.
Nope, I'm sorry. The healing power of Garden State can only go so far.
P.S.: Note to the owner of the Ford Excursion, our neighbor who moved in a week ago and is already pissing me off: Obviously you are incapable of parking your behemoth of a vehicle properly, i.e. without crowding into the spaces on either side, it being roughly the size of a New York City studio apartment. Do you think you might stop taking up 1-1/2 of the primo parking spaces in front of the building and park off to the side where no one would mind so much? But I guess if you had that level of sensitivity and consideration you wouldn't have bought such a ridiculous, impractical car to begin with.
