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grrgoylYesterday Tery and I finally went on a shopping trip for my birthday. Until this point, her gift to me consisted of a brand new pair of toenail clippers (which I did need desperately). Our targets were going to be Old Navy (because we just inventoried one and saw all the fabulous sales), Victoria's Secret (because I just inventoried one and fell in love with their "Pure Seduction" fragrance) and of course Hot Topic.
It was during this trip that I noticed a disturbing phenomenon. Apparently when we are inventorying a store and not really allowed to browse at will, merchandise takes on a mystical, compelling characteristic...the air of the forbidden. Returning to these stores as a customer with every right to leisurely examine the goods for hours if we so choose, suddenly the mysticism and desirability have vanished. This happened at Old Navy (although I did get two pairs of cargo pants for work for around $20...love that third world child labor!) and, yes, it even happened at my beloved Hot Topic. All the things that made my head spin when I was browsing and penniless were gone. And the things that were still there just didn't hold the same appeal for me anymore. Poor Tery waited so patiently as I spent about half an hour desperately combing the store for...I don't know what. But it wasn't there. I saw things I liked, just not enough to buy. Like an awesome deep plum-colored button-up long-sleeved shirt with diagonal pink pinstripes that was probably too expensive and, try as I might to picture, would just not be suitable for my sister-in-law's impending wedding. And a very cool Donnie Darko piece, the 28:06:42:12 logo; it would have made a great bumper sticker but the problem was it was a sew-on fabric patch. I settled on a $5 CD sampler just so the trip wasn't a complete waste. When the tattooed girl rang me up and brightly asked if I had found everything okay, I guess my response was a little dejected. With a little prodding I explained my depressing realization. She said the same thing happened to her. She may have been lying, but I loved her for it.
The only success was Vicki's Secret, and that because I only wanted the one thing. It was our first stop so we had no other bags to carry. I chose a single bottle of body spray and we paid for it. The girl informed us, "Unfortunately we don't have any small bags left," looking at us expectantly. I explained that we had more shopping to do and didn't really want to carry the bottle around openly (I have such a fear of being mistaken for a shoplifter, I don't know why that is). She sighed heavily and produced in fact the largest bag the store offered, a bag big enough to carry hundreds of dollars' worth of intimate apparel. I was left to carry this pink monstrosity into my favorite goth store, but tattooed girl joined me in making fun of it, so it was all good (as soon as I walked out I stuck the body spray into the Hot Topic bag and ditched the cotton candy-colored menace).
So that was my big birthday trip. We saw an interesting license plate, though. At Old Navy we parked in front of a huge SUV with a plate frame that actually read, "Warning: In case of rapture this vehicle will be unmanned". Oh my word. Overlooking the obvious joke and the first thing that occurred to me (that being "unmanned" meaning "castrated', though that obviously is not what they meant), how very presumptuous of the owners to think that they already had a spot in the express train to Heaven. Does Jesus love your enormous, gas-guzzling SUV?
Finally I'm starting to worry that my most popular post to date will be the snarky comment I made in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sexy_librarians. People can read the complete tale here if they are so inclined. I recently got told off by someone, and boy did it hurt:
(My comment, as a refresher course): This is the stupidest, most demeaning "community" I've seen on LJ, by far.
(Their smackdown of me. Obviously my thoughts are in italics): That is horrible grammar at a new level! "Stupidest" is not a word! (Sorry, but actually it is) Plus your run on sentence looks like hell. (Maybe you should look up the definition of "run-on sentence") Next time you *try* to insult people, use correct English.
Apparently when members of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
grammar_nazis and grammar_whores get tired of judging people based on their language, they need to find places to judge them based on their looks. Again, a chickenshit anonymous troll which is why I won't bother with a response. But, their reply being the stupidest, I couldn't resist including it here.
It was during this trip that I noticed a disturbing phenomenon. Apparently when we are inventorying a store and not really allowed to browse at will, merchandise takes on a mystical, compelling characteristic...the air of the forbidden. Returning to these stores as a customer with every right to leisurely examine the goods for hours if we so choose, suddenly the mysticism and desirability have vanished. This happened at Old Navy (although I did get two pairs of cargo pants for work for around $20...love that third world child labor!) and, yes, it even happened at my beloved Hot Topic. All the things that made my head spin when I was browsing and penniless were gone. And the things that were still there just didn't hold the same appeal for me anymore. Poor Tery waited so patiently as I spent about half an hour desperately combing the store for...I don't know what. But it wasn't there. I saw things I liked, just not enough to buy. Like an awesome deep plum-colored button-up long-sleeved shirt with diagonal pink pinstripes that was probably too expensive and, try as I might to picture, would just not be suitable for my sister-in-law's impending wedding. And a very cool Donnie Darko piece, the 28:06:42:12 logo; it would have made a great bumper sticker but the problem was it was a sew-on fabric patch. I settled on a $5 CD sampler just so the trip wasn't a complete waste. When the tattooed girl rang me up and brightly asked if I had found everything okay, I guess my response was a little dejected. With a little prodding I explained my depressing realization. She said the same thing happened to her. She may have been lying, but I loved her for it.
The only success was Vicki's Secret, and that because I only wanted the one thing. It was our first stop so we had no other bags to carry. I chose a single bottle of body spray and we paid for it. The girl informed us, "Unfortunately we don't have any small bags left," looking at us expectantly. I explained that we had more shopping to do and didn't really want to carry the bottle around openly (I have such a fear of being mistaken for a shoplifter, I don't know why that is). She sighed heavily and produced in fact the largest bag the store offered, a bag big enough to carry hundreds of dollars' worth of intimate apparel. I was left to carry this pink monstrosity into my favorite goth store, but tattooed girl joined me in making fun of it, so it was all good (as soon as I walked out I stuck the body spray into the Hot Topic bag and ditched the cotton candy-colored menace).
So that was my big birthday trip. We saw an interesting license plate, though. At Old Navy we parked in front of a huge SUV with a plate frame that actually read, "Warning: In case of rapture this vehicle will be unmanned". Oh my word. Overlooking the obvious joke and the first thing that occurred to me (that being "unmanned" meaning "castrated', though that obviously is not what they meant), how very presumptuous of the owners to think that they already had a spot in the express train to Heaven. Does Jesus love your enormous, gas-guzzling SUV?
Finally I'm starting to worry that my most popular post to date will be the snarky comment I made in
sexy_librarians. People can read the complete tale here if they are so inclined. I recently got told off by someone, and boy did it hurt:(My comment, as a refresher course): This is the stupidest, most demeaning "community" I've seen on LJ, by far.
(Their smackdown of me. Obviously my thoughts are in italics): That is horrible grammar at a new level! "Stupidest" is not a word! (Sorry, but actually it is) Plus your run on sentence looks like hell. (Maybe you should look up the definition of "run-on sentence") Next time you *try* to insult people, use correct English.
Apparently when members of
grammar_nazis and grammar_whores get tired of judging people based on their language, they need to find places to judge them based on their looks. Again, a chickenshit anonymous troll which is why I won't bother with a response. But, their reply being the stupidest, I couldn't resist including it here.