Has the whole world gone crazy?

Last night I ran out to Lowe's to find some better options for my indoor skating rink idea (I've been using a thin piece of wood, which works fine except for occasionally making very loud, alarming cracking noises, and being too wide to fit in the hallway).

I found two perfect pieces of particle board, 5/8" thick, only 4 feet long so I could fit them in my car, and cheap. I went to check out but there was a problem. My debit card kept getting declined, despite having almost $1000 in there.

The girl was apologetic and blamed USAA (our mutual bank), said they were having technical issues earlier in the day. I went to my car to give them a call.

The conversation started as usual, the customer representative trying to determine I really am Elaine Adamcewicz before discussing my account information. All for the good, but then it suddenly took a turn into Bizarro World.

Rep: Okay, Miss Adamcewicz, can I have your phone code please?
Me: My...what? My phone code?
Rep: Yes please.
Me: You mean my PIN number?
Rep: No, your phone code.
Me: I have no idea what that is.
Rep: Your hint is "mother's maiden name is Smith" (note: It isn't. I changed it here because I don't need you people knowing my answer to the most popular security question ever)
Me: (flummoxed) Right, it's Smith.
Rep: So I need your phone code, please.
Me: I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you're asking for.
Rep: Your hint is "mother's maiden name is Smith."
Me: Right. But shouldn't you ask me what her maiden name is and I would answer "Smith"?
Rep: It just says your hint is (yadda yadda yadda, you get the idea).
Me: Is there anything else you can ask me??
Rep: Sure. Do you have the card in front of you?
Me: Yep, right here.
Rep: Okay, read me the last eight digits on the card. (I did) Okay, now tell me a charge that's cleared in the last 24 hours.
Me: (drawing a blank because this is just so ridiculous) Ummm, I bought something at Sports Authority this morning for $32 something.
Rep: Very good, Miss Adamcewicz, how can I help you?

And I was in! I still don't know what the problem was. She insisted it was Lowe's system, but I tried getting cash out of an ATM shortly after this call with similar unsuccess. But my point is, if someone had physically stolen my card and shopped at Sports Authority, wouldn't they have the answers to those last two questions? How do they do anything to prove my identity?

I'm sending a letter to USAA right now about this issue, because I find it pretty disturbing. Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy? It gets scarier and scarier every time I see evidence of us moving closer to such a world.