The Angry Post

EXTRA, EXTRA: Got a double feature today, because I was lazy and let all this stuff accumulate. But I'm breaking it into two posts, or I'll drown you all with my words, which neither of us want.

Whole lotta anger goin' on.

First, to my astonishment, the other day I spotted ex-neighbor Jennifer pulling into the parking lot. She was the hoarder with the five cats, thinking of getting a puppy, but thank god bought a house and moved away?

She was coming back to take her garden as the final stage of her moving out -- which is crazy talk to me, but I don't know a lot about gardening. She saw me and eagerly filled me in on all that was new with her (while throwing a bag of garbage in our bin, which I thought was a bit rude since she's not a resident anymore).

She then asked if I still went to the gym. I said no and started to tell her why (the mountain of hospital debt my money has to be spent on rather than luxuries like gym memberships), when literally she got distracted by the daisies that had started coming up and walked away from me.

I escaped back home without even saying goodbye, half relieved to get off so easily (conversations with her tend to suck large segments of time and for the most part usually focus on her -- kind of like talking to my family) but mostly really irritated at how unbelievably rude she is. I mean, "Me me me me me. What's new with you? Oh look...daisies!" Whatev. Thank god she moved.

I did make the observation, and Tery agrees, that it's pretty bizarre considering my unrelenting cynicism concerning people and their endless capacity for selfishness, that I'm simultaneously relentlessly optimistic and always surprised to be proven right.

~*~

BIG happenings in Tracey's world. She has a new neighbor under her, a woman named Nina, who is very outspoken and has no intention of taking any shit from her (literally, with Tracey's "balcony trained" dogs).

She's been here two weeks and is already fed up with her. She's prepared to go to the HOA, Animal Control, the police, President Obama himself to get her evicted. I didn't think eviction was an option, mainly because the HOA likes to paint itself as powerless against her, but Nina assures me it can be done.

I thought I hated Tracey, but compared to how Nina feels about her, I might as well be her Facebook friend. She is really, REALLY angry.

The problem is Nina's beef isn't with the barking during the day, but the galloping around at 3:30 a.m., which we can't exactly assist her with since (blessedly) we can't hear it. Plus she told me she still has urine dripping onto her balcony (EWWWW). "I don't think I've ever seen her walk the dogs," she told me. "Well why do you think you have urine on your balcony?" I asked her, lightheartedly because I get the impression Nina is someone whose good side you want to stay on.

She said there is an unbelievable amount of damage both to the balcony and the inside of the unit because of the dogs (and who knows what other activity), and Mary, the owner, is preparing a lawsuit. About bloody damn time. I've seen enough court TV shows to know she also has a good case for loss of rental income the way Tracey drives people out of there.

I really hope Nina stays, and that she's the final nail in the coffin. Just leave, Tracey. Have mommy and daddy buy you a house where no one will bother you, or at the least a ground floor unit somewhere. Anywhere else but here. We'll have a block party to celebrate your departure.

EDIT: Nina went to the HOA meeting, bringing with her a pal who runs the board at another complex. Two things of interest popped up: a) There seems to be the possibility that Tracey's (and when I say "Tracey" I mean "Tracey's mommy and daddy") insurance company never received full disclosure about the meth lab (or maybe she meant the dog situation. It doesn't seem possible that such a major detail as a felony arrest could be kept hidden). If they were to find out, Tracey might become uninsurable and lose the unit that way.

Also b) not just a possibility but a fact is that Tracey's mommy and daddy's names are on the title, not hers, which makes her in the eyes of the law a tenant and not a homeowner. Which makes her far less impervious to eviction.

(I have to wonder why this was all news to our own HOA and what the hell we're paying them for. It seems to me if I was going to run a property management company, one of the first things I'd like to learn about is how to deal with problem neighbors.)

Nina seems very excited about this, so we'll see. Christmas might come super early this year.

~*~

I was angry about a new policy at my transcription job whereby essentially we would be penalized financially because of ESL (English as second language) docs, but then they unexpectedly gave me a raise -- my first in two years, and I didn't even have to beg for it.

In case you'd like to know the details of the policy that makes me hate my job, in here you'll find a vile, obscenity-filled rant, only interesting to me and anyone curious about the seedy, dangerous underbelly of medical transcription.

( ::Proceed with caution:: )

Of course none of this stopped me from puckering up my lips to kiss some serious ass when, shortly after starting this program, they offered a $1000 gift card for the best 500 or less word essay about how great it is and how much it will help the company and the MTs. Four years as an English major left me with a bachelor's degree and some mad bullshitting skillz, at least on paper. Might as well see if they'll pay off.

~*~

Finally, this just in today: I was behind a woman whose car was covered in breast cancer ribbons and bumper stickers. Which I didn't have a problem with until I noticed a puff of cigarette smoke come out of her window. Really? Guess lung cancer is okay? If you ask me they both sound like rather unpleasant ways to die.

Bathroom Remodel 2010 Edition

We finally have a new bathroom! Well, mostly new. The almond (or bone, or biscuit some stores call it) tub and toilet remain, but they match the tile behind the tub so that's another major undertaking.

This year we focused on the little sink area which is sort of separate from the toilet/tub area (used to have a door between them, but we removed it since we're an old married couple which means we don't need any privacy).

Plenty of pics behind the cut, but first the tale of getting the job done.

I had my fears about it being too expensive (those tax refunds sure have a way of evaporating into thin air once they're deposited, don't they?), particularly after wishfully browsing the sink selection on Lowe's website. Not only did they seem pricey, but enough choices to make your head spin. Colors, styles, positions (sit on top of or hang below the counter), etc.

Of course the big job was going to be replacing the vanity top. We had decided to keep the old vanity, partly because it didn't look nearly as hideous, mostly because replacing it with a sleeker, svelter model would necessitate retiling the floor to cover the huge gaps to either side.

At least, I thought replacing the top would be a big job until just for ha-ha's Tery and I decided to check out the vanity section of Lowe's. Unbeknownst to us (and possibly many of you), you can buy a vanity top that ALREADY HAS A SINK BUILT IN. Much cheaper than we expected, around $130 for the whole deal. Which meant really all we needed to pick out was a new faucet (plus a mirror and light, which weren't as intimidating).

We ran home and measured our vanity, sure it would be some bizarre size that's been discontinued since it was built 30 years ago, but to our surprise it came in at 49 inches, a size Lowe's actually stocked.

Now it was just a matter of finding someone to do our dirty work for us. We certainly didn't want to pay a plumber and an electrician separately. I found Chris the $49 (an hour) handyman on the Better Business Bureau's site and booked him for the gig.

He showed up and looked it over, thought it all looked pretty standard and said all we had to do was set a date and then go shopping.

We ran back to Lowe's that afternoon, grabbed the 49-inch top we liked, (last one on the shelf. Fate!) picked out a mirror and a light. This was the fun part. How I'd love a $5000 budget to re-do, well, anything really.

Getting the top home was a bit tricky. Turns out the back seat of my Honda isn't 49 inches long, not with the doors shut anyway. Tery, who didn't have to drive, proposed a hare-brained scheme of jutting it out and tying one of the doors closed with twine. She's also the one who happily straps our Christmas trees to my roof with only about three passes of twine, leaving me the harrowing task of driving while it slides alarmingly backwards and forwards whenever I take a corner.

I thought a much better idea was to lower the front seat and angle it through the middle of the car; it fit perfectly that way, unfortunately not leaving a lot of room for Tery to sit, but she adapted a lot easier than the slab of "cultured marble."

Thus we got it home, where it became a repository for cats and dirty clothes until Chris came to install it.

Chris was a shortish man, prematurely balding, with a kind face. Best of all, no radical plans to overthrow the government like Rick the Fridge Repairman (or at least, he didn't share them with me if he had). It never occurred to me he might be gay until I noticed he was playing the pronoun game, with lots of talk about "my partner" and the two English bulldogs that were "his babies." This doesn't always mean anything, of course, except sometimes it does.

Before he did anything he wanted to open up the top to make sure it would fit. I insisted we had measured carefully but he knew more about it than us. He tore through the box, rendering it useless, and we maneuvered it in together. Sure enough, it turned out to be about a quarter inch too long. We should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

That was disheartening in the extreme, because we both really, really hated the old counter. I suggested maybe he could at least install the new light while he was there. He said there was a 1-hour minimum for the visit so I might as well use him.

It was while he was working on that when we got to chatting and he realized we owned rather than rented. Knowing this, he suggested just notching into the drywall a bit to make the counter fit. Desperate for a new bathroom, and even more desperate not to have to drag the thing back to Lowe's for a custom-made item, we eagerly agreed.

Good thing, too -- in the space of time it took to discuss this, the ferrets had discovered the open box and made short work of the styrofoam packing blocks that would have been needed for the return trip. Styrofoam is like crack to a ferret. Sweet, easily torn to bits crack.

So I left him to it. Approximately 2-1/2 hours later he was done with everything (he had estimated 3, so I thought we'd be saving money; I hadn't counted on paying for his materials plus a $15 "travel charge," which seems a tad underhanded considering it wasn't like he could do the work at his house).

Except it wasn't quite the finished product we had dreamed of. Obviously we had to paint a bit after taking down the ginormous mirror and light fixture. We hadn't counted on the huge gash in our wall where he'd "notched in" (I'm imagining selling this place to someone who will hate our choice in vanity tops, and tear it out only to discover all the damage we're covering up and saying, "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL"). Plus I thought I'd go insane imagining the light was crooked until I took a level to it and proved that it was -- fortunately it was easy enough to straighten, but jeez. Bargain handyman sure cuts corners.

So a few coats of paint, some side splashes and Tery's magic touch with a tub of spackle later, and we're extremely pleased with it. Check it out, won't you? All pics thoughtfully resized:

( ::Practically new bathroom:: )