For My Moviegoing Public -- Underworld
Sep. 19th, 2003 07:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylToday I just couldn't resist taking off two hours from work in the middle of the morning to run out and catch a matinee of Underworld. The alternative was going to a late night show Saturday night when all the kids would be out annoying the hell out of me. Below is my review, but I am considerate so I am hiding it behind the cut:
I have to admit I was a trifle disappointed by this. It was another of those movies that has some great ideas and no place to go with them. It seemed like the lovechild of Queen of the Damned and The Matrix (or even worse, Matrix Reloaded) with flashy, slo-mo, gun-centric action with the occasional flashy, slo-mo monster shot. Whereas I will admit that guns and technology would be a natural evolution in the war between vampires and werewolves, it is nowhere near as interesting to watch as a more ancient stage of it might have been. I am getting tired of movie gunfights where the air is thick with bullets and the hero walks unflinchingly through them and (miraculously!) never gets hit. It was also very similar to Matrix Reloaded in that everyone talked in weighty, cryptic language that seemed like it was supposed to be really important but only succeeded in confusing and boring the audience (or me, at least. 2/3 of the way through I caught myself thinking about what to pick up at the grocery store on the way home. Not a good sign). When they finally got around to explaining what was going on, what started the war, and why we should care about these characters, it was worlds better than Matrix II at least, which I still don't understand to this day.
I'm not saying it was all bad. If nothing else it was eye candy, and the opening shot from the trailer of Kate Beckinsale leaping off a 40-storey building and landing effortlessly with a sassy little spring and a flip of her leather trenchcoat is worth the price of admission alone. The werewolf effects were very well done, if sadly underused (200% better than American Werewolf in Paris but still not quite as scary as the classic American Werewolf in London). The vampires by contrast were rather boring, as all they did was change eye color and get a little longer in the tooth, and were even more underused. They never succeed in appearing especially malevolent (there is in actuality only one vampire bite in the entire movie) and were dull, cardboard cousins of their 3-dimensional Anne Rice counterparts. The biggest disappointment of the film was the creature that the entire movie was leading up to: a vampire/werewolf hybrid that was supposedly stronger than both, but was really just the actor in black body makeup a la Nightcrawler, black contacts and fangs... thoroughly unimpressive and actually downright silly-looking compared to the eight-foot tall, totally buff and terrifyingly hideous Lycans we had seen through the rest of the movie ::::sigh:::::
I would say this is a must-see on a big screen (preferably with a kick-ass sound system too) if you must see it. I would give it a 3 out of 5.
As far as trailers go, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Kill Bill look excellent. All the other 6 trailers looked so identical I can't even distinguish them in my memory.
-=Lainey=-
I have to admit I was a trifle disappointed by this. It was another of those movies that has some great ideas and no place to go with them. It seemed like the lovechild of Queen of the Damned and The Matrix (or even worse, Matrix Reloaded) with flashy, slo-mo, gun-centric action with the occasional flashy, slo-mo monster shot. Whereas I will admit that guns and technology would be a natural evolution in the war between vampires and werewolves, it is nowhere near as interesting to watch as a more ancient stage of it might have been. I am getting tired of movie gunfights where the air is thick with bullets and the hero walks unflinchingly through them and (miraculously!) never gets hit. It was also very similar to Matrix Reloaded in that everyone talked in weighty, cryptic language that seemed like it was supposed to be really important but only succeeded in confusing and boring the audience (or me, at least. 2/3 of the way through I caught myself thinking about what to pick up at the grocery store on the way home. Not a good sign). When they finally got around to explaining what was going on, what started the war, and why we should care about these characters, it was worlds better than Matrix II at least, which I still don't understand to this day.
I'm not saying it was all bad. If nothing else it was eye candy, and the opening shot from the trailer of Kate Beckinsale leaping off a 40-storey building and landing effortlessly with a sassy little spring and a flip of her leather trenchcoat is worth the price of admission alone. The werewolf effects were very well done, if sadly underused (200% better than American Werewolf in Paris but still not quite as scary as the classic American Werewolf in London). The vampires by contrast were rather boring, as all they did was change eye color and get a little longer in the tooth, and were even more underused. They never succeed in appearing especially malevolent (there is in actuality only one vampire bite in the entire movie) and were dull, cardboard cousins of their 3-dimensional Anne Rice counterparts. The biggest disappointment of the film was the creature that the entire movie was leading up to: a vampire/werewolf hybrid that was supposedly stronger than both, but was really just the actor in black body makeup a la Nightcrawler, black contacts and fangs... thoroughly unimpressive and actually downright silly-looking compared to the eight-foot tall, totally buff and terrifyingly hideous Lycans we had seen through the rest of the movie ::::sigh:::::
I would say this is a must-see on a big screen (preferably with a kick-ass sound system too) if you must see it. I would give it a 3 out of 5.
As far as trailers go, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Kill Bill look excellent. All the other 6 trailers looked so identical I can't even distinguish them in my memory.
-=Lainey=-
