1-800-ASK-A-NURSE
Feb. 11th, 2006 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylMy cough is back. Not nearly as bad as before, but enough to make me concerned about relapsing. However, I don't want to pay another $100 for a clinic visit if it's just residual bronchitis. It's times like this when not having insurance truly doth suck.
So I called the Urgent Care for some suggestions and was directed to their help line, 1-800-ASK-A-NURSE (well, without the 1-800, but I thought that sounded funnier). This is where old, retired nurses go to die...but not before dispensing free, dubious advice based on medical knowledge from 10 years ago.
After getting my biddy on the line, I quickly described my situation to her. I had been diagnosed with Strep and bronchitis, I had finished my antibiotics but now a few weeks later the cough has returned. She ran down a script of questions about my symptoms.
Biddy: Do you have a fever?
Me: No.
Biddy: Do you have a runny nose or congestion?
Me: No.
Biddy: Have you had any recent injuries, surgeries or hospitalizations?
Me: No.
Biddy: Do you have a rash?
Me: No.
Biddy: Because sometimes rash can be a symptom of Strep throat, you realize.
Me: I did not know that. But I don't have a rash (and we've already established that I did, indeed, have Strep throat. Can we drop the rash?)
Biddy: Have you had any recent injuries, surgeries or hospitalizations?
Me: (stiffly) ... No.
Biddy: Do you have a sore throat?
Me: It's not sore, just dry. I get a tickle sometimes and it makes me cough. But it's very intermittent. I mean, we've been talking for how long now and I haven't coughed once.
Biddy: So you have a dry throat.
Me: Right. And it feels tight sometimes. Like when I try to sing.
Biddy: When you try to what?
Me: Sing. When I try to sing.
Biddy: (incredulously) Well how often do you have to sing?
Me: Not often, but I'd still like it to be an option.
Biddy: .....
Me: And also, I don't know if this is related, but they found a meth lab next door in my neighbor's unit about 6 months ago and they're still in the process of cleaning it up. I wonder if that could be why I'm still sick?
Biddy: (Impatiently) Oh, I don't know what goes on in those labs. (Harumph)
Her prognosis was that I didn't need to go back to the doctor. Her prescription included a lot of stuff like tea with honey, long, hot showers, cough drops, glasses of water and headache powder (okay, so that last was Tery's addition). I have to say, it's a damn good thing it's a free service or I would want my money back. I wonder if MyFriendDeb could get a job working there, since they share the same remedies? Either way, I forgot I have my very own Ask-A-Nurse, my sister in Boston. Who sadly is too busy working three jobs to take my calls.
ADDENDUM: Finally got through to my sister, who amusingly sobbed, "I don't know what goes on in a meth lab either. Does that make me a bad nurse?"
So I called the Urgent Care for some suggestions and was directed to their help line, 1-800-ASK-A-NURSE (well, without the 1-800, but I thought that sounded funnier). This is where old, retired nurses go to die...but not before dispensing free, dubious advice based on medical knowledge from 10 years ago.
After getting my biddy on the line, I quickly described my situation to her. I had been diagnosed with Strep and bronchitis, I had finished my antibiotics but now a few weeks later the cough has returned. She ran down a script of questions about my symptoms.
Biddy: Do you have a fever?
Me: No.
Biddy: Do you have a runny nose or congestion?
Me: No.
Biddy: Have you had any recent injuries, surgeries or hospitalizations?
Me: No.
Biddy: Do you have a rash?
Me: No.
Biddy: Because sometimes rash can be a symptom of Strep throat, you realize.
Me: I did not know that. But I don't have a rash (and we've already established that I did, indeed, have Strep throat. Can we drop the rash?)
Biddy: Have you had any recent injuries, surgeries or hospitalizations?
Me: (stiffly) ... No.
Biddy: Do you have a sore throat?
Me: It's not sore, just dry. I get a tickle sometimes and it makes me cough. But it's very intermittent. I mean, we've been talking for how long now and I haven't coughed once.
Biddy: So you have a dry throat.
Me: Right. And it feels tight sometimes. Like when I try to sing.
Biddy: When you try to what?
Me: Sing. When I try to sing.
Biddy: (incredulously) Well how often do you have to sing?
Me: Not often, but I'd still like it to be an option.
Biddy: .....
Me: And also, I don't know if this is related, but they found a meth lab next door in my neighbor's unit about 6 months ago and they're still in the process of cleaning it up. I wonder if that could be why I'm still sick?
Biddy: (Impatiently) Oh, I don't know what goes on in those labs. (Harumph)
Her prognosis was that I didn't need to go back to the doctor. Her prescription included a lot of stuff like tea with honey, long, hot showers, cough drops, glasses of water and headache powder (okay, so that last was Tery's addition). I have to say, it's a damn good thing it's a free service or I would want my money back. I wonder if MyFriendDeb could get a job working there, since they share the same remedies? Either way, I forgot I have my very own Ask-A-Nurse, my sister in Boston. Who sadly is too busy working three jobs to take my calls.
ADDENDUM: Finally got through to my sister, who amusingly sobbed, "I don't know what goes on in a meth lab either. Does that make me a bad nurse?"
