grrgoyl

I have had Xena on the brain a lot lately, beginning with a couple of weekends ago when Tabby was over. She hadn't been online in months, after learning the hard way how meeting someone in person that you got on with famously online could be quite disastrous; the meeting ultimately resulted in her losing her computer, and most of her favorite clothes and CDs in a breakup spectacularly out of proportion to the amount of time she had known the girl (who on top of being emotionally unbalanced was apparently a very accomplished thief).

But that is neither here nor there.

After having a few drinks she decided it might be fun to get on my computer and cruise some AOL chatrooms. As I have stated earlier, I was once a huge fan of the chatrooms, or at least one in particular, the member-created "Fearsome Females" based loosely on a mutual admiration of "Xena: Warrior Princess" though we talked about far more than that. I have since tried to return to the rooms but I can't figure out if the problem lies in my lack of ability to focus adequately to start a meaningful conversation with anyone or if there really isn't anyone hanging out in chatrooms WORTH having a conversation with anymore. They are either hopelessly "clique-y" or strangely silent, which means the occupants are either furiously IMing each other privately or have moved on to other pursuits and forgotten they left their virtual alter-ego in the room. The most stimulating room I have been to lately was linked from an AOL article about gay marriage and boy was it a mistake to wander in THERE. Basically a bunch of homophobic idiots who talked all in caps to drown out any kind of rational dialogue on the topic ("Why is it people with closed minds always have their mouths open?" I love that bumper sticker.) After getting sufficiently riled to offer some comments of my own that were mostly completely ignored in the shouting match, I closed the window for the sake of my escalating blood pressure. Because there are some topics that you simply cannot change someone's mind about in the context of a chatroom.

But back to Tabby and her search for some hot online lesbian action. The first few rooms we found were hella lame, one of which was inhabited by no one over the age of 15. Tery and I jokingly tried to give her some tips on picking up younger girls (remember Tabby is 20 and Tery and I are both over 30 (but also remember Tabby seduced me)) but it really was quite hopeless and the only meeting ground they could conjure was the infamous VMA Madonna kiss. So we moved on to some member-created rooms. This was even worse for Tabby since they mostly contained the over-30 crowd. (The inference we can make is the 20-something lesbians are probably out in actual bars meeting each other.) Naturally Tabby was logged on under my name and she was horrified when one intelligent and interesting woman noticed the Xena reference in my profile and started discussing the show with her. Tabby is quite the conundrum in that she is totally into lesbians and women, she only reads lesbian erotica, she only wants to watch movies with lesbians in them, etc. There is nothing wrong with this apart from the fact that the material is somewhat limited and she is bound to run out of entertainment quickly, especially at the rapacious rate she consumes it. So I can't understand her opposition to Xena, probably the biggest lesbian icon to come out since Martina. I even brought over some of the best episodes for her to watch that I felt required the least familiarity with the show to enjoy, but she would have none of it. So it went something like this at the computer:

AzurePhase: So, Grr, you like Xena? What is your favorite episode?
Tabby at the computer: Nooooooooooooooo.......I don't WANT to talk about Xena!!!!!!!!!
Elaine behind her: :::::laughing my ass off:::::

I coached her through some answers but she lost interest very quickly and rudely fled the room in mid-conversation with poor Azure. I reminded her she was using my name and I had better not get an inbox full of pissed-off emails tomorrow from these people.

So here I am feeling all nostalgic for Xena again, making this dream not very hard to interpret at all:

I dreamed I had somewhere found a long-lost, never aired episode of Xena called "The Plinth." I even know exactly where the title came from. I had just finished "The Order of the Phoenix," where Ms. Rowling uses this word to describe the base of the stone arch with the curtain into which Sirius disappears. I remember thinking what an odd word it was at the time. Here it was again in my dream, except in the Xena episode "plinth" meant a supernaturally attractive being with every ideal physical trait. Somewhere in the middle of it I was suddenly IN the episode and of course I was Xena (herself an almost supernaturally attractive being). The Plinth appeared and he/she was naked and dazzingly beautiful. I say he/she because s/he was very tall, lean and wiry with the overall body shape of a man, with shoulder-length soft blond hair and piercing blue eyes; except s/he had small, perfectly formed breasts and asexual but still vaguely feminine genitalia, like a store mannequin. After appearing in a blaze of heavenly light (s/he may or may not have had angel wings) s/he lay down on a dais and beckoned me to join him/her (because I was Xena, after all.) I don't remember much of what followed, but I am sure it was positively lovely......


Speaking of Plinths, here are some drool-worthy pics of Hugh Jackman (the only other man besides Alan who makes me weak in the knees) from this month's Advocate because again I am just too damn lazy to find a community to post them to:






-=Lainey=-