The SUV Rant
Mar. 27th, 2004 01:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylSo...we are at war with Iraq and, consequently, most of the world, George W. is at war with homosexuals, and things in general are extremely fucked up. And what do I choose to go on about? SUVs.
SUVs. The scourge of my existence (apart from George W. And reality TV, see below.) If I chose, my rants about adventures in driving would be a daily feature in my journal, and probably stultifyingly boring, so I thought I would put most of it in one entertaining entry.
I hate SUVs. Right up there alongside this is an equal hatred for SUV drivers. Living in Colorado, we have plenty of both (well they do tend to go hand-in-hand), though I don't really understand why: most of our roads have been paved for at least the 8 years I have lived here, and I'm guessing probably even longer than that. The only off-road action most of these vehicles ever see is when they end up in a ditch in the winter due to drivers who assume they're invincible (the sight of which never fails to fill me with immense, spiteful glee).
SUV drivers as a rule make me nervous, because I figure anyone who voluntarily purchases a vehicle that only gets 15 miles to the gallon can't be the sharpest tool in the shed anyway. Putting them in control (I use the term loosely) of 4,000 pounds of American-built, death-dealing steel just doesn't strike me as a wise idea. It has also been my objective observation that SUV drivers as a group have very poor depth perception, as evidenced by their tendency to drive with their front tires stuck in my backseat. (Of course, I could compose a rant all unto itself on tailgaters. I simply don't believe that being one carlength closer to your destination at the expense of safety has ever made a significant improvement in anyone's day.)
A short while ago when there was first talk of raising gas prices, to own an SUV or not to own an SUV briefly became a huge debate on the AOL chatboards. I wasted a goodly amount of time reading these arguments, and believe I saw most of the excuses people use to buy these ridiculous, useless automobiles. Here are some, in no particular order:
1.) "I need an SUV to accommodate my family": Oh, where do I start? We were a family of 4 who got along swimmingly with a Subaru hatchback growing up in the 80s. Which was, admittedly, an improvement over the Volkswagen Beetle we had in the 70s. No family of 4 absolutely needs a fucking Ford Excursion (a vehicle that practically needs its own zip code) to transport themselves comfortably. If you have more than two children in this day and age, look into global overpopulation and why it's a bad thing.
2.) "I love the feeling of safety I get from being so high up": I'm willing to bet that most SUV drivers (as I stated earlier, not a terribly thoughtful, perceptive bunch) never realize that they owe their lofty, clear lines of sight to us lowly cars. If everyone drove SUVs *shudder* then everyone would be the same height. There would be no choice but to design even taller, more inefficient vehicles. But that would be no good, they would compete with tractor trailers. What's the answer, then? There must be a way that we can ALL be high (and mighty. Face it. It's implied).
Part two of my problem with this excuse is that most SUV drivers seem to think this unobscured vision gives them enough of an extra safety margin to make it acceptable to abandon other more common sense driving practices that make the road safe for everyone, not just them. Like not veering into other people's lanes without even a hint of a turn signal. And leaving 5 or 6 inches behind the car ahead of them in case something sudden and unavoidable happens (although back when I learned to drive, the rule was one carlength for every 10 mph you're traveling. Oh, well, things change). And even really basic stuff, like not taking up a lane and a half regardless of the remaining half of the lane being occupied. I don't care how damn big you are, the SUV manufacturers at least have not sunk to the level of stupidity of creating vehicles wider than the established traffic lanes. Yet.
Case in point of this lack of concern for safety...a few days ago I was driving to work on a 6-lane road (not a highway, though you usually can't tell based on the average speed). I was in the passing lane because not only was I turning left ahead, but I was keeping up with traffic and not holding anyone up. Not good enough for the woman behind me in her Jeep Grand Cherokee, frantic to get that extra carlength ahead in her journey, despite the fact that I had about 10 people ahead of me going the exact same speed. Realizing she couldn't just plow over the top of me (though obviously dearly wishing she could), she tried to pass on the right, nearly wiping out an unsuspecting motorcyclist in the process. I made an exaggerated "what the hell is your problem?" gesture in my rear-view window, which she immediately returned, mystifyingly, as the only problem I had was with her. Most of the time when I get a nutcase like this behind me, I make a big show of flipping my rearview mirror up (I used to slam on my brakes until Tery convinced me the no-rearview ploy was safer). Out of sight, out of mind, problem solved. Though I really don't trust people of so little intelligence to realize that it does no good to tailgate someone if they can't see you doing it. If only this incident were unique, but it seems to happen on an almost daily basis.
3.) "I have money and it's my own damn business if I want a car that needs $50 worth of gas every week.": Spoken like a true American, I'm ashamed to say. This argument might work if you lived on your own planet like Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince. But you don't. You share a planet with a considerable number of other people (see global overpopulation above) and your overblown sense of entitlement is using up and destroying precious natural resources at a much faster rate. All so your family of 7 can enjoy a higher view as you sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic with other morons with a similar sense of entitlement. I think life would be better in general if everyone for just two minutes could think of someone else besides themselves. Frankly I'm surprised Bush doesn't add a constitutional amendment granting the Freedom of Choice of Automobiles as long as he's messing around in there, because most people act like he already has.
4.) "I'm a small business owner/farmer and I need a larger vehicle for my work.": This is the only excuse I can possibly accept. And there are plenty of farms in Colorado to support this argument. But judging by the number of SUVs on the road, each of those farms would have to be operating a small fleet that would make the Navy proud for them to account for all of them. And I have no statistics, but I'm willing to bet my next paycheck that almost none of them use a Lexus 470 or a Cadillac Escalade to get their farmwork done. These gleaming, gas-guzzling status symbols are barely allowed to get highway dirt on them, let alone do an honest day's work.
I think I've made my point (and then beat it into the ground). Naturally I'm not talking about ALL SUV drivers (just most of them). There are plenty of inconsiderate car drivers as well. But they seem to be a dying breed, slowly converting into more SUV drivers, so they can be inconsiderate on a much grander scale.
Needless to say, this will be my next car. So I can just drive under all those stupid SUVs while they're sitting in traffic.
-=Lainey=-
SUVs. The scourge of my existence (apart from George W. And reality TV, see below.) If I chose, my rants about adventures in driving would be a daily feature in my journal, and probably stultifyingly boring, so I thought I would put most of it in one entertaining entry.
I hate SUVs. Right up there alongside this is an equal hatred for SUV drivers. Living in Colorado, we have plenty of both (well they do tend to go hand-in-hand), though I don't really understand why: most of our roads have been paved for at least the 8 years I have lived here, and I'm guessing probably even longer than that. The only off-road action most of these vehicles ever see is when they end up in a ditch in the winter due to drivers who assume they're invincible (the sight of which never fails to fill me with immense, spiteful glee).
SUV drivers as a rule make me nervous, because I figure anyone who voluntarily purchases a vehicle that only gets 15 miles to the gallon can't be the sharpest tool in the shed anyway. Putting them in control (I use the term loosely) of 4,000 pounds of American-built, death-dealing steel just doesn't strike me as a wise idea. It has also been my objective observation that SUV drivers as a group have very poor depth perception, as evidenced by their tendency to drive with their front tires stuck in my backseat. (Of course, I could compose a rant all unto itself on tailgaters. I simply don't believe that being one carlength closer to your destination at the expense of safety has ever made a significant improvement in anyone's day.)
A short while ago when there was first talk of raising gas prices, to own an SUV or not to own an SUV briefly became a huge debate on the AOL chatboards. I wasted a goodly amount of time reading these arguments, and believe I saw most of the excuses people use to buy these ridiculous, useless automobiles. Here are some, in no particular order:
1.) "I need an SUV to accommodate my family": Oh, where do I start? We were a family of 4 who got along swimmingly with a Subaru hatchback growing up in the 80s. Which was, admittedly, an improvement over the Volkswagen Beetle we had in the 70s. No family of 4 absolutely needs a fucking Ford Excursion (a vehicle that practically needs its own zip code) to transport themselves comfortably. If you have more than two children in this day and age, look into global overpopulation and why it's a bad thing.
2.) "I love the feeling of safety I get from being so high up": I'm willing to bet that most SUV drivers (as I stated earlier, not a terribly thoughtful, perceptive bunch) never realize that they owe their lofty, clear lines of sight to us lowly cars. If everyone drove SUVs *shudder* then everyone would be the same height. There would be no choice but to design even taller, more inefficient vehicles. But that would be no good, they would compete with tractor trailers. What's the answer, then? There must be a way that we can ALL be high (and mighty. Face it. It's implied).
Part two of my problem with this excuse is that most SUV drivers seem to think this unobscured vision gives them enough of an extra safety margin to make it acceptable to abandon other more common sense driving practices that make the road safe for everyone, not just them. Like not veering into other people's lanes without even a hint of a turn signal. And leaving 5 or 6 inches behind the car ahead of them in case something sudden and unavoidable happens (although back when I learned to drive, the rule was one carlength for every 10 mph you're traveling. Oh, well, things change). And even really basic stuff, like not taking up a lane and a half regardless of the remaining half of the lane being occupied. I don't care how damn big you are, the SUV manufacturers at least have not sunk to the level of stupidity of creating vehicles wider than the established traffic lanes. Yet.
Case in point of this lack of concern for safety...a few days ago I was driving to work on a 6-lane road (not a highway, though you usually can't tell based on the average speed). I was in the passing lane because not only was I turning left ahead, but I was keeping up with traffic and not holding anyone up. Not good enough for the woman behind me in her Jeep Grand Cherokee, frantic to get that extra carlength ahead in her journey, despite the fact that I had about 10 people ahead of me going the exact same speed. Realizing she couldn't just plow over the top of me (though obviously dearly wishing she could), she tried to pass on the right, nearly wiping out an unsuspecting motorcyclist in the process. I made an exaggerated "what the hell is your problem?" gesture in my rear-view window, which she immediately returned, mystifyingly, as the only problem I had was with her. Most of the time when I get a nutcase like this behind me, I make a big show of flipping my rearview mirror up (I used to slam on my brakes until Tery convinced me the no-rearview ploy was safer). Out of sight, out of mind, problem solved. Though I really don't trust people of so little intelligence to realize that it does no good to tailgate someone if they can't see you doing it. If only this incident were unique, but it seems to happen on an almost daily basis.
3.) "I have money and it's my own damn business if I want a car that needs $50 worth of gas every week.": Spoken like a true American, I'm ashamed to say. This argument might work if you lived on your own planet like Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince. But you don't. You share a planet with a considerable number of other people (see global overpopulation above) and your overblown sense of entitlement is using up and destroying precious natural resources at a much faster rate. All so your family of 7 can enjoy a higher view as you sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic with other morons with a similar sense of entitlement. I think life would be better in general if everyone for just two minutes could think of someone else besides themselves. Frankly I'm surprised Bush doesn't add a constitutional amendment granting the Freedom of Choice of Automobiles as long as he's messing around in there, because most people act like he already has.
4.) "I'm a small business owner/farmer and I need a larger vehicle for my work.": This is the only excuse I can possibly accept. And there are plenty of farms in Colorado to support this argument. But judging by the number of SUVs on the road, each of those farms would have to be operating a small fleet that would make the Navy proud for them to account for all of them. And I have no statistics, but I'm willing to bet my next paycheck that almost none of them use a Lexus 470 or a Cadillac Escalade to get their farmwork done. These gleaming, gas-guzzling status symbols are barely allowed to get highway dirt on them, let alone do an honest day's work.
I think I've made my point (and then beat it into the ground). Naturally I'm not talking about ALL SUV drivers (just most of them). There are plenty of inconsiderate car drivers as well. But they seem to be a dying breed, slowly converting into more SUV drivers, so they can be inconsiderate on a much grander scale.
Needless to say, this will be my next car. So I can just drive under all those stupid SUVs while they're sitting in traffic.
-=Lainey=-
