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grrgoylI often stop into Subway for dinner on my way into work. I stride in purposefully, wearing my uniform, which I would hope indicates that I'm heading to work and therefore would appreciate speedy, efficient service. Most of the time my hair is also wet, and again you don't have to be Monk to deduce that means I'm freshly showered and therefore going to work, not home.
I went in this weekend and my hopes were dashed almost immediately when the solitary clerk asked me to wait while he finished counting his drawer. No problem, I agreed initially, then stood there for 10 minutes while he loudly counted dimes, nickels, pennies. At last he was ready to wait on me.
He took note of my attire and asked where I was headed. I briefly summarized my job description, we joked about me being a skeleton crew of one, it was all good. But between the drawer counting and all the small talk, 5 more customers had appeared in line behind me. Still all was good until he added my meat and cheese, and then suddenly abandoned my sandwich to help the guy behind me.
"What can I get you, sir?" he asked.
Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I interrupted. "Ummm, I hate to be rude, but I really need to get going here." I hate to be rude, but I hate people pushing my already limited patience even more. I mean, come on. I'd already waited for him to count his drawer. I'd made it clear I was going to work. I willingly engaged in idle chatter not realizing it would create the impression I wanted to hang out all night. He was all business after that, no more easy cameraderie. I'll try not to cry myself to sleep.
~*~
Chris and Liana had a little something this weekend. Chris was already 2-1/2 sheets to the wind by the time we arrived. We played a board game, the details of which are unimportant, except one of the questions had us guessing which movie most defined Chris' character. This led to Chris' taste in movies, which led to reminding Chris about our abortive attempt at a movie exchange program (remember my contributions: Donnie Darko and A Life Less Ordinary, both of which he said he liked. His offerings: Hidalgo and Reign of Fire, one of which I fell asleep during and the other I wrote exactly what I thought about here).
Chris took great exception to my dislike of Reign of Fire, acting hurt and betrayed. It's not my fault Chris has bad taste in movies. It really puts me between a rock and a hard place: Tell the truth and hurt his feelings, or lie and have him foist more of the same on me? He was also offended by my belief that all his movies featured horses. He drunkenly pulled me into the living room and selected what he claims to be his three favorite movies: My Dog Skip, which granted probably doesn't have many equines, ditto Men of Honor (though I have a powerful suspicion I've seen this already, though can't remember it at all so that doesn't speak very well for how much I enjoyed it), and All the Pretty Horses which is where his whole "I don't have a thing for movies with horses" argument falls apart.
When I returned to the kitchen, everyone wanted to see what Chris had given me. Peg, his best friend from vet school days, warned me with a horrified expression that I didn't want to see All the Pretty Horses. Chris just grimaced but said nothing. Peg said it was a terrible movie, but Chris ignored her. Chris slurred at me, "You may not like these movies, but you'll respect these movies." What's THAT supposed to mean? I'd like to be drunk just once so I, too, can spout utter bullshit with profound gravitas.
UPDATE: Watched Horses last night. Evidently Peg's horrified warnings were because the movie is horrifyingly boring and pointless, not, as I had feared, because there was some disturbing violence that would scar my psyche. Apart from being scarred by boredom and pointlessness. I'd go so far as to say Quigley Down Under was a masterpiece in comparison.
~*~
Speaking of movies I didn't like, I also saw Shrek the Third.....ooh, did I tip my hand too soon?
The story is simple enough, like its predecessors: Fiona's frog king father dies, leaving Shrek next in line for the crown, unless he can track down the only other heir, Arthur Pendragon. Of course for Shrek this is the only option, since all he wants is to get back to his cozy swamp. His quest is complicated by Fiona's announcement literally just as he's leaving that she's pregnant. The secondary plot is Prince Charming's coup to rule Far Far Away himself.
True, the first two didn't have that much more complexity, but somehow the jokes stretched a bit further. It seemed in this one they started falling flat a lot sooner, leaving a more tedious play-out of the totally predictable story.
For instance: Part of the appeal of the first two was the clever use of pop songs sprinkled in surprisingly but appropriately. It seems the killer music coordination team has fled the franchise with this one. The only song I remember clearly is Wings' "Live and Let Die" played over the king's funeral, which was a real "What. The Fuck?" moment.
It started out very promising. One of the very first jokes is Prince Charming's hellish fate doing dinner theater, complete with coconut hoof sound effects -- fitting, seeing as this installment has not one but two Pythons. There are the usual Middle Age plays on words (we briefly see a "Versarchery" store, a joke that's largely missed because we're supposed to be mourning Fiona's father) and the Puss/Donkey relationship is as humorous as ever (and I've decided that Antonio Banderas is second only to Alan Rickman for most meltworthy voice).
But once we get into the meat of the story, we find out there is no meat and no more suprises. And even though the other appeal of the movies is the twist on fairy tales, I was mildly irked at the crowning of King Arthur while completely ignoring the sword in the stone or anything else from the Arthur legend (aside from Merlin and bully classmates Gwen and Lancelot).
I'll admit, I was a little worried by the trailer that this would be all about baby ogres being too cute for words, doing baby ogre things. I don't think babies are that great, and I'm damn sick and tired of the media trying to convince me otherwise. But fortunately the baby antics are limited to one nightmare and the very end of the movie. And alright, they are too cute for words.
And the grrl power bit was decent.
The laughs die out too soon, which makes for the longest 92 minutes I've sat through in awhile. I'm glad I saw it, but the odds are good I won't feel the need to buy it on DVD. Disappointing. 3 out of 5
But as we left the theater I asked Ryan if he found himself in the same quandary as with Heroes: knowing Prince Charming is the villain, but also thinking he's so damn hot (Ryan had a brief thing for Sylar). To my surprise, he said he thought Prince Charming looked a lot like me. Wow. I don't see it personally, but flattering, certainly.
~*~
Lastly, looks like the boys are finally warming up to each other:
I went in this weekend and my hopes were dashed almost immediately when the solitary clerk asked me to wait while he finished counting his drawer. No problem, I agreed initially, then stood there for 10 minutes while he loudly counted dimes, nickels, pennies. At last he was ready to wait on me.
He took note of my attire and asked where I was headed. I briefly summarized my job description, we joked about me being a skeleton crew of one, it was all good. But between the drawer counting and all the small talk, 5 more customers had appeared in line behind me. Still all was good until he added my meat and cheese, and then suddenly abandoned my sandwich to help the guy behind me.
"What can I get you, sir?" he asked.
Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I interrupted. "Ummm, I hate to be rude, but I really need to get going here." I hate to be rude, but I hate people pushing my already limited patience even more. I mean, come on. I'd already waited for him to count his drawer. I'd made it clear I was going to work. I willingly engaged in idle chatter not realizing it would create the impression I wanted to hang out all night. He was all business after that, no more easy cameraderie. I'll try not to cry myself to sleep.
~*~
Chris and Liana had a little something this weekend. Chris was already 2-1/2 sheets to the wind by the time we arrived. We played a board game, the details of which are unimportant, except one of the questions had us guessing which movie most defined Chris' character. This led to Chris' taste in movies, which led to reminding Chris about our abortive attempt at a movie exchange program (remember my contributions: Donnie Darko and A Life Less Ordinary, both of which he said he liked. His offerings: Hidalgo and Reign of Fire, one of which I fell asleep during and the other I wrote exactly what I thought about here).
Chris took great exception to my dislike of Reign of Fire, acting hurt and betrayed. It's not my fault Chris has bad taste in movies. It really puts me between a rock and a hard place: Tell the truth and hurt his feelings, or lie and have him foist more of the same on me? He was also offended by my belief that all his movies featured horses. He drunkenly pulled me into the living room and selected what he claims to be his three favorite movies: My Dog Skip, which granted probably doesn't have many equines, ditto Men of Honor (though I have a powerful suspicion I've seen this already, though can't remember it at all so that doesn't speak very well for how much I enjoyed it), and All the Pretty Horses which is where his whole "I don't have a thing for movies with horses" argument falls apart.
When I returned to the kitchen, everyone wanted to see what Chris had given me. Peg, his best friend from vet school days, warned me with a horrified expression that I didn't want to see All the Pretty Horses. Chris just grimaced but said nothing. Peg said it was a terrible movie, but Chris ignored her. Chris slurred at me, "You may not like these movies, but you'll respect these movies." What's THAT supposed to mean? I'd like to be drunk just once so I, too, can spout utter bullshit with profound gravitas.
UPDATE: Watched Horses last night. Evidently Peg's horrified warnings were because the movie is horrifyingly boring and pointless, not, as I had feared, because there was some disturbing violence that would scar my psyche. Apart from being scarred by boredom and pointlessness. I'd go so far as to say Quigley Down Under was a masterpiece in comparison.
~*~
Speaking of movies I didn't like, I also saw Shrek the Third.....ooh, did I tip my hand too soon?
The story is simple enough, like its predecessors: Fiona's frog king father dies, leaving Shrek next in line for the crown, unless he can track down the only other heir, Arthur Pendragon. Of course for Shrek this is the only option, since all he wants is to get back to his cozy swamp. His quest is complicated by Fiona's announcement literally just as he's leaving that she's pregnant. The secondary plot is Prince Charming's coup to rule Far Far Away himself.
True, the first two didn't have that much more complexity, but somehow the jokes stretched a bit further. It seemed in this one they started falling flat a lot sooner, leaving a more tedious play-out of the totally predictable story.
For instance: Part of the appeal of the first two was the clever use of pop songs sprinkled in surprisingly but appropriately. It seems the killer music coordination team has fled the franchise with this one. The only song I remember clearly is Wings' "Live and Let Die" played over the king's funeral, which was a real "What. The Fuck?" moment.
It started out very promising. One of the very first jokes is Prince Charming's hellish fate doing dinner theater, complete with coconut hoof sound effects -- fitting, seeing as this installment has not one but two Pythons. There are the usual Middle Age plays on words (we briefly see a "Versarchery" store, a joke that's largely missed because we're supposed to be mourning Fiona's father) and the Puss/Donkey relationship is as humorous as ever (and I've decided that Antonio Banderas is second only to Alan Rickman for most meltworthy voice).
But once we get into the meat of the story, we find out there is no meat and no more suprises. And even though the other appeal of the movies is the twist on fairy tales, I was mildly irked at the crowning of King Arthur while completely ignoring the sword in the stone or anything else from the Arthur legend (aside from Merlin and bully classmates Gwen and Lancelot).
I'll admit, I was a little worried by the trailer that this would be all about baby ogres being too cute for words, doing baby ogre things. I don't think babies are that great, and I'm damn sick and tired of the media trying to convince me otherwise. But fortunately the baby antics are limited to one nightmare and the very end of the movie. And alright, they are too cute for words.
And the grrl power bit was decent.
The laughs die out too soon, which makes for the longest 92 minutes I've sat through in awhile. I'm glad I saw it, but the odds are good I won't feel the need to buy it on DVD. Disappointing. 3 out of 5
But as we left the theater I asked Ryan if he found himself in the same quandary as with Heroes: knowing Prince Charming is the villain, but also thinking he's so damn hot (Ryan had a brief thing for Sylar). To my surprise, he said he thought Prince Charming looked a lot like me. Wow. I don't see it personally, but flattering, certainly.
~*~
Lastly, looks like the boys are finally warming up to each other:
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-30 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-30 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-30 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-30 10:23 pm (UTC)I laughed at the "You might not like it but you'll respect it" line. WTF?!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-30 10:31 pm (UTC)I know, WTF indeed. I always seem to get trapped in surreal conversations with drunk people.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-31 05:50 am (UTC)Also, I've never seen My Dog Skip, but from what I do know about it, I'm disturbed that it is in the top three favorite movies of a grown man.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-31 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-31 05:41 pm (UTC)Chris is like a little kid when he's drunk. After the party's over and it's just him and Tery, he'll suggest watching a movie. Then pull out shit like "The 13th Warrior" (remember, Tery has absolutely no interest in anything not firmly rooted in historical fact or at least reality). Tery compares it to a kid demanding you to read him a story, then he'll pull the first book off the shelf he sees.
By the power of Grayskull, I must remember to drop Monk's name more often. I eagerly look forward to redeeming my internet points. : )