Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

[grrgoyl]

You might think, as we did, that this was the line for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. You would be, as we were, dead wrong. No, this was the line for the sneak preview of Hairspray, we were relieved to discover after mistakenly waiting in it for only 10 minutes or so.

I'm going to pass on Hairspray. John Travolta in a fat suit AND drag is a bit too disturbing for me, thanks.

So anyway, we saw it: "we" being Ryan, myself and Ryan's co-worker Kristin (John was too tired to join us. A mixed blessing, as it saved us a no doubt tedious trip downtown). Ryan and Kristin have still resolutely refused to crack open any of the books themselves, so they were mercifully spared what was to follow.

In fact the things they got right put a big old grin on my face. Luna Lovegood: spot on. #12 Grimmauld Place: Perfect in atmosphere, and Kreacher was better than my imagination. But where was the infamous Mrs. Black's portrait? You can't tell me children would be too frightened of it when the rest of the movie is pretty uniformly grim, dark and menacing. But moving on.

Remus looked properly even more ragged and scarred. Snape looked magnificent: Just the right lighting to make him as sallow and greasy as the books paint him, while still retaining enough Rickman to be knee-weakeningly sexy. The Room of Requirement: Very cool. The Ministry of Magic: Equally cool (what little we see of it). The thestrals: Pretty cool, but more on them later.

I realize you can't make the movie 5 hours long, but it seemed like they cut HUGE swaths out of the book. My companions, who like I said have never touched the book, could sense it was an incomplete movie without even knowing any better.

After making such a big deal about the fact that only Harry and Luna can see the thestrals, it was then very jarring to see everyone else riding them into London without a word of explanation about how they still couldn't see them but were riding the invisible steeds anyway -- Ryan and Kristin were confused by this, as I'm sure most of the theater would have been (at least, the illiterates among them). Cutting corners, cutting corners. But there were problems way before this point.

I remember reading the book and feeling such powerful, vivid hatred for Dolores Umbridge (while simultaneously admiring her as one of the best villains ever created). I felt none of that in the movie. The sadistic, gruesome nature of Harry's detentions, that made my physically ill in the book, was touched upon only in the briefest of moments (nor do I remember the rest of Dumbledore's Army suffering the same fate, as they do in the movie). Consequently when she's finally dispatched by the centaurs (in a shadowy, very poorly animated scene, and I'm sorry, but I don't remember Grawp even being involved at that point) I didn't feel anywhere near the sense of relief and triumph.

But the biggest, most glaring, most devastating omission in my view, was the tragically fleeting Snape's Worst Memory. The internet buzz (at least in the circles I run in) surrounding this scene was tremendous and deafening. This was, among Snape fans (and I'm one of the biggest), to be practically the highlight of the whole movie. It gets an entire chapter devoted to it in the book. In the movie it lasted all of 20 seconds. Literally blink twice and you'll miss it. Absolutely, positively not cool.

Runner-up in uncoolness has to undoubtedly be the GINORMOUS absence of Firenze the centaur assuming the position of Divinations professor. Which would have probably added a half hour to the film and $1 million to the budget, but surely we could have done without so many sweeping, panoramic views of Scotland? We KNOW what the castle looks like. We've seen four of these movies.

It's a rare achievement for a movie to cut so many corners and still drag. When Hagrid takes the trio to meet his brother Grawp I felt the movie came to a palpably grinding halt. All vestige of momentum just vanished completely.

Bellatrix LeStrange. Another character I've been eagerly awaiting, who had her balls cut off (or her teeth filed down, if that's a better analogy) by severely truncated screen time. So little to do, one wonders why even bother introducing her?

Except of course that she kills Sirius. Which happens so quickly and vaguely that my poor, uninformed friends didn't even get that he was dead (in fairness, I didn't think he was either when I read the book). However, I've grown quite fond of characters overcome with grief with the sound removed, a la Frodo in Fellowship of the Ring. Gave me chills there and it worked just as well here.




I'd like to think I'll enjoy it more a second time when I'm not stressing over what to expect. It was wonderfully atmospheric, dark and mature, it just seemed to have the heart cut out of it. And I need to stop going with people who haven't read the books. 3/4 of the way through, Kristin leaned way over into my space and asked if Luna was Draco's sister. And then wouldn't take no for an answer, convinced she'd predicted some huge plot twist (she also swore up and down that Arthur Weasley died in Goblet of Fire. Oh dear, oh dear). Neither of them were particularly stoked to hear that David Yates (the director) has already signed on to do the next film.


In totally related news, just when you thought this week couldn't get any more Harryrific, Telanu has posted the final chapter of the Tea Series. Yep, the Snarry that started it all for me. It will give me something to look forward to after turning the last page of "Deathly Hallows," since I'm quite certain Jo won't give my boys the ending I'd prefer.

Comments

Wait, wait, wait: is Sirius Black Dr. Smith?

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

You know what they should do? They should spend the extra money, shoot some more scenes, and have those appear in the DVD but not in theaters. Then everyone who saw the movie would buy the DVD and it would more than make up for costs. I refuse to hear reasons why this wouldn't work.

I had the same basic gripes as you do about them leaving important bits out. I had a problem with them not mentioning the Secret Keeper deal. Would it have been that hard to do the address-on-paper bit? This might be my bad memory messing with me, but couldn't Neville see the Thestrals in the book?

Was there honestly a radio playing in the castle?

I was pissed about the flashback too (personally, that was the reason I bought the damn ticket), but what adult appearances Snape had were choice, yeah? Especially his very first off-screen line (I don't remember what it was, but I know I was crazy excited to hear his voice) and the line "I may vomit." Which I may or may not be misquoting.

Anyway I still think the movie worth seeing. Smooth, standing in the wrong line, by the way.

LOL I thought you meant the original Dr. Smith

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Yes, he was Dr. Smith in that horrible movie that I had successfully forgotten I'd seen until just now.

You know, I had owned the first movie for a couple of years before going in search of deleted scenes, which they hid inside annoying interactive games for the kiddies. To my surprise, they contained a significantly longer version of Snape's first scene with Harry. So yes, I'll take deleted scenes as a consolation prize. And I'm still buying the movie, no doubt.

Yeah, it seemed like a lot of little details could have been easily incorporated in the time allotted. But perhaps that would make it seem too rushed? We'll never know. I thought Neville could too, but his parents weren't killed. I'm not sure, but the re-reading of this book is still far in the future for me.

Hey, the radio wasn't nearly as offensive to me as that stupid wizard rock band that played at the Yule Ball.

Mmmmm, very choice. His first off-screen line is when they're eavesdropping on the Order meeting and yeah, my heart started racing. "I may vomit" was heard when he saw Harry's memory of hugging Sirius.

There's a blurb in an issue of Entertainment Weekly about Rickman, and I quote "He's magnificently intimidating, whether jousting with Harry or turning a simple retort into a mini-symphony of contempt."

I also became inappropriately excited when he uttered the line to Umbridge straight out of the book, "Unless you wish to poison Potter -- and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did..."

I could have stood for Umbridge's review of Snape to go on a bit longer.

It was definitely worth seeing, and seeing again. Hey, give me a break: Who would think Hairspray was such a big deal?

No, I meant the only one I care about.

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

He looks a lot different when he's not making that weird Look! I'm evil face all the time. With the upper lip weirdness.

I dunno, they've been doing that dumb music thing for a while. Do wizards not have real instruments? I couldn't concentrate on the rest of the movie after the radio bit. I kept turning to the person next to me (not one of the people I came with, mind) and saying, "Was that a friggin' radio? Was it a spell or something? Are they only doing that so they can justify making Apple product drops in the next movies? Will Snape for realz have an iPod?" Serves them right for sitting next to me in an empty theater.

Oh, that was a great line as well! Actually, I thought the review was the only part that worked with such a short amount of time. That look on his face was all the scene needed.

Certainly not me. I thought after seeing the commercials for Hairspray that it would flop big time.

Okay, now you've lost me.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Well, remember Arthur Weasley has that fascination for Muggle technology (which I loved that they illustrated with just one simple line. If they could do that, why not so much more?) Perhaps that's where the radio came from. Had I been sitting next to you, I would have asked you to shut up about it already.

Undoubtedly the scene worked well on its own. I just have a tendency to want every Snape scene to go on for much, much longer than it does.

I love that icon. I think that might be my favorite MST ep of the whole series.

[metatronis.livejournal.com]

You know, I did like it a bit more the second time I saw it. Maybe there is hope for that.
I agree for the most part, and I did love how Luna turned out as well. I think it was the surprised eyebrows....definitely.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm hoping. Of course, no amount of repeat viewings will increase Alan's screen time. >: (

I loved that they included her dreamy optimism about getting her stuff back at the end, straight from the book. In fact thinking back, her character seemed the most faithful to the book. Why is that, I wonder?

$0.02

[lizzieloudotcom.livejournal.com]

As someone who hasn't read ANY of the books, and who gets perplexed and spoiled by T-shirts that proclaim "Snape Kills Dumbledore," I think the movie was OK. It moved the story along a bit and interested me in what comes next. It was obvious upon viewing however that things were missing, and it made me (once again) think I should get around to reading the series sometime. Of course, I also kept anticipating some strange turn of events that would cause Snape (who continues to be the best on screen) to Muuuurderrrr.

My friends are going to see "Hairspray" this afternoon but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Even with a nice review from the cynical Roeper (of "Ebert and...") I can't get past Travolta's eyes being too close together in his prosthetics when I am already super picky about "musicals."