Night of a Thousand Movies
Sep. 10th, 2007 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylTery is still in Connecticut, so you know what THAT means....I'm watching lots and lots of movies. Most can be summarized fairly quickly, but there are a lot of them.
Æon Flux: I wasn't a huge fan of the original cartoon, but this intrigued me in a Matrix-y kind of way. I spent all this time thinking it starred Angelina Jolie, so when I saw that it was rather Charlize Theron, I was encouraged (I confuse the two always, but feel a good deal more charitable towards Theron (not least of which because of her role as a mentally challenged Brit on Arrested Development)). This movie suffered at the hands of Amazon.com reviewers, who are mostly MTV purists. All I remember of the cartoon was that it went on and on and on (but in a terribly repetitive, plotless sort of way), and was always shown late at night when I was mostly in a stupor. So in this respect, the movie was far better in my opinion. Oh, it had its logistical flaws, but it was very pretty to look at, actually had a plot, AND had Jonny Lee Miller (Sick Boy) and Marton Csokas (who had me running to IMDb ten minutes into his appearance. I didn't recognize Borias without his ass-length dreadlocks). I may have even cried a little at the end. And I got chills when she catches a fly in her eyelashes (one of the few things I do remember from the show). In summary, better than expected, a reasonably entertaining 93 minutes -- although I certainly could have done without Pete Postlethwaite with coyly bared shoulders in a futuristic muu-muu. 3 out of 5
The Number 23: I watched this with Ryan and HIS NEW BOYFRIEND JOHN (emphasis purely to keep alive a joke between myself and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kavieshana), who I've decided are not the best movie-watching partners (with me). Between smoke breaks (Ryan's), bathroom breaks (all of us) and constant commenting (John, mostly), it's damn near impossible to follow any kind of plot. So much so that I'm frankly a little nervous at the prospect of watching upcoming seasons of Heroes and Dexter with the two of them. Due to these neverending interruptions, this movie quickly became hopelessly circuitous and confusing. Jim Carrey is transfixed by a book ("The Number 23," how original) that seems to tell the story of his life down to the smallest details, except the protagonist is a bad-ass, ruthless killer. It also traps him in a theory about the number 23 turning up everywhere you look, which turns out to be true (the director explained that people can find connections to just about any number they want if they look hard enough). It might have been better (and made more sense) if we hadn't had to pause the movie 23 times. And Jim Carrey is kind of sexy as a bad-ass. 2 out of 5
On Sunday I watched a series of horror...things, each scarier than the last.
The Host: Earth-killing American pigdog scientist orders his protesting Korean assistant to pour gallons and gallons of formaldehyde directly into the Han River, resulting in a mutated, slimy, amphibious river creature that grows enormous and goes on a killing rampage. This movie started out promising -- the overdone Godzilla premise notwithstanding, it was actually beautifully shot with very convincing creature effects (compliments of Weta LOTR Workshop). But the acting isn't the best and the story gets sillier and sillier as we go on. A little girl is captured by the creature, regurgitated alive into its sewer lair and surviving for several days, despite the creature knowing she's there and somehow being completely incapable of finishing the job. She uses a cell phone to call her family for help -- in a sewer. I can't get a signal downstairs at the hospital. The family is trying desperately to save her, against the obstacles of being hunted by the government (for suspicion of viral contamination from the creature) as well as their own petty in-fighting. By the climax of the movie, the girl's father has become some kind of political martyr, with thousands protesting for his freedom, and the creature is killed rather anticlimactically. Having some spare time, I took a look at the special feature "Director's reflections." This was literally only the director apologizing to every single extra who had their scene cut or their face partially obscured in any way in the entire film. The regret went on and on. Most peculiar. Okay, I'll admit it: I had a hard time staying awake through this one.cmpriest paid much closer attention, perhaps you should read her take for a much more in-depth (but spoilery) look. 1.5 out of 5
The Wicker Man: I Tivo'd this ages ago and finally got around to watching it last night. There seems to be a glut of Nicolas Cage movies out there now, Ghost Rider (which I can't envision ever being bored enough to watch) , Next (which I actually watched most of on the plane back from London) and this one. I'll admit, with his hair not in that stupid-ass, practically mullet style, there might have been a tiny rekindling of my old passion for Nic. In this he plays a cop summoned by an old flame to a mysterious island to search for her (their) daughter (I assure you, this little plot twist was hardly surprising, I haven't spoiled anything). The island, despite its idyllic setting, is off-kilter and ominous, inhabited by a population of mostly women. The few menfolk that are spotted are engaged in menial labor and unable or unwilling to speak. It's obvious everyone is hiding something, but what? He digs and digs until he finds out much more than he wanted to know. Also starring the mannish woman from Northern Exposure, Leelee Sobieski, who annoys me to no end, and Ellen Burstyn in a very brief, but chilling role. For all the great acting and fantastically creepy atmosphere, I saw the ending coming a mile away, which is a shame because it would have been a good one had I not been so world-weary and jaded. 2 out of 5
I watched the season premiere of Torchwood, which looks like a BBC X-Files, except you actually get to see monsters (say what you will about the cheesy way the rest of the show was shot, but their monster effects are top notch). There's a scene where she's walking down a long corridor towards a....man-shaped thing. His head looks just a little off, but it's too blurry and far away to tell. She slowly gets closer and closer, and he slowly comes into view, and let me just say it's one of the creepiest fucking things I've seen on TV in a long, long time.
Until, at Jeffy's insistence, I tracked down a Doctor Who episode from the newest series with David Tennant, "Blink," on YouTube. Creatures called the "Weeping Angels" have invaded London. As long as someone is looking at them, they turn to stone and appear to be statues from a cemetery. But the second you blink or turn your back, they come to life and attack you. Good fucking Christ. I watched this at about midnight....big mistake. Before going to bed I locked my balcony door (we live on the third floor). Only one other movie has ever made me lock the balcony door (it was The Relic -- I know, not a landmark horror movie, but the conditions just happened to be right to freak me out sufficiently). Actually it was ludicrous to lock the door, since our house is full of gargoyles so technically the danger was inside, but the best horror material is the stuff that inspires utter irrationality in otherwise intelligent individuals.
Before the horror, I accompanied the shimmeringdopshoppe to see Superbad. I'll be honest Alicia (if you're bothering to read this *smirk*), this wouldn't have been my first choice of a movie. After being so sorely disappointed in Knocked Up, I would have been perfectly content to wait for this to come to cable. But for the presence of Michael Cera, I might not have gone at all. Tery and I have adored Michael since episode one of Arrested Development. We recognized instantly his impeccable comic timing, his understated, one might even say droll style. Mark our words, we'd say, he's going places. Not that Superbad was one of those places, but I still see loftier goals for him after this.
This is an American Pie for the 2000's obviously, except no sex ever takes place. Evan (Cera) and best bud Seth (repellant and obnoxious Jonah Hill) are determined to use their last remaining weeks before graduation to become Lotharios so they have experience for college. This of course is mostly the plan of Seth, who might have gotten into Dartmouth with Evan if he spent more time studying and less time drawing penises. This is a source of great underlying tension between the two, and the only pretext for any serious drama. Wait, let's go back. You heard me right -- penises. For a movie all about getting beaver, there's enough blatant homoeroticism here to make even a Snarry fan like myself blush. Seth confesses to Evan that in 5th grade he went through a phase of obsessively drawing penises. He had a lunchbox filled with this artwork. When it's accidentally discovered by classmate Becca, she runs off screaming. Okay, a) when I was in 5th grade, I would have had no idea at all what they were. Kids are growing up faster and faster, I guess. b) You can't tell me something like that wouldn't have earned him a very unfortunate nickname that would have haunted him to the end of his academic career. Apparently it doesn't, but he seems completely unaware how lucky he is (he's only tormented instead for being fat and generally vile).
Practically the entire movie is devoted to the quest to buy liquor for the one party they're invited to (they agree to buy for the WHOLE party, despite having only one fake I.D. (their friend Fogell a.k.a. McLovin, that you saw in the preview), $100 and a very long list of top shelf booze requests from the other partygoers). McLovin spends the entire movie with cops Seth Rogen and Bill Hader, who are pretty terrifyingly irresponsible for lawmen. Seth and Evan embark on a series of misadventures that occasionally have very funny moments (like when Evan easily outruns Rogen, leaving him gasping painfully, "He's a freak.....he's the fastest kid on earth....he's the fastest kid on earth....").
When they finally get to the party in Act III and get with their respective girls, there's a delicious irony that Evan is too much of a gentleman to take advantage of his totally plastered date, while Seth's is a nondrinker (kudos for someone FINALLY showing a teenager who realizes there's more to life than getting shitfaced) and completely turned off by his inebriated state. The boys go home together and crash on Evan's floor, exchanging some heartfelt and touching best friend love that teeters just on the edge of being totally gay (I'm sure there was some squirming on the part of the two guys in the row in front of us, who were so insecure in their sexuality that they kept an empty seat between them).
I enjoyed this far more than Knocked Up. My crush on Michael Cera has grown deeper than ever (even thoughdopshoppe thinks it might be more than a little wrong to love a boy his age). But Judd Apatow still seems far too preoccupied with male sex organs for my liking. And I felt the cops living a second adolescence with their new friend McLovin might have gone on just a bit too long. Still, worth a chuckle. 2.5-3 out of 5
Last but not at all least, just today I discovered Netflix's instant watching feature (I knew about it, but didn't realize it came free) and I selected The Darwin Awards. Joseph Fiennes is a police profiler-turned-insurance claims investigator who becomes fascinated with the Darwin Awards and what kinds of people are predisposed to such acts of excessive stupidity. He hits the road with fellow investigator Winona Ryder (who is finally starting to look older than 16) to prove his theory that potential recipients can be identified and denied insurance. He himself is the complete opposite, calculating every imaginable risk until he's terrified to do just about anything. Winona, of course, slowly convinces him that a life with zero risk is a life hardly worth living.
I don't know that he ever proves his case, but it does make for some highly amusing storytelling, with an all-star cast -- Chris Penn, David Arquette, Juliette Lewis, Metallica, Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters, DB Sweeney, Lukas Haas, Josh Charles.... there's no end to them. I knew I had to own this movie when I saw the scene of Fiennes, who has smugly strapped himself into a jury-rigged bungee cord contraption to ensure his safety in a hotel shower, gets flipped upside down and stuck in that position, and forced to call weakly for help. How often do you get to see that?
This movie is amusing, at times hilarious, from start to finish, and has Joseph Fiennes employing my very favorite device, (anyone? guess?) the voice-over narration, Fight Club style. I immediately ran to Hollywood Video hoping to score a used copy. Too soon I guess, so I got it online. I think it might be the best movie I watched all weekend. 4.5 out of 5
Æon Flux: I wasn't a huge fan of the original cartoon, but this intrigued me in a Matrix-y kind of way. I spent all this time thinking it starred Angelina Jolie, so when I saw that it was rather Charlize Theron, I was encouraged (I confuse the two always, but feel a good deal more charitable towards Theron (not least of which because of her role as a mentally challenged Brit on Arrested Development)). This movie suffered at the hands of Amazon.com reviewers, who are mostly MTV purists. All I remember of the cartoon was that it went on and on and on (but in a terribly repetitive, plotless sort of way), and was always shown late at night when I was mostly in a stupor. So in this respect, the movie was far better in my opinion. Oh, it had its logistical flaws, but it was very pretty to look at, actually had a plot, AND had Jonny Lee Miller (Sick Boy) and Marton Csokas (who had me running to IMDb ten minutes into his appearance. I didn't recognize Borias without his ass-length dreadlocks). I may have even cried a little at the end. And I got chills when she catches a fly in her eyelashes (one of the few things I do remember from the show). In summary, better than expected, a reasonably entertaining 93 minutes -- although I certainly could have done without Pete Postlethwaite with coyly bared shoulders in a futuristic muu-muu. 3 out of 5
The Number 23: I watched this with Ryan and HIS NEW BOYFRIEND JOHN (emphasis purely to keep alive a joke between myself and
kavieshana), who I've decided are not the best movie-watching partners (with me). Between smoke breaks (Ryan's), bathroom breaks (all of us) and constant commenting (John, mostly), it's damn near impossible to follow any kind of plot. So much so that I'm frankly a little nervous at the prospect of watching upcoming seasons of Heroes and Dexter with the two of them. Due to these neverending interruptions, this movie quickly became hopelessly circuitous and confusing. Jim Carrey is transfixed by a book ("The Number 23," how original) that seems to tell the story of his life down to the smallest details, except the protagonist is a bad-ass, ruthless killer. It also traps him in a theory about the number 23 turning up everywhere you look, which turns out to be true (the director explained that people can find connections to just about any number they want if they look hard enough). It might have been better (and made more sense) if we hadn't had to pause the movie 23 times. And Jim Carrey is kind of sexy as a bad-ass. 2 out of 5On Sunday I watched a series of horror...things, each scarier than the last.
The Host: Earth-killing American pigdog scientist orders his protesting Korean assistant to pour gallons and gallons of formaldehyde directly into the Han River, resulting in a mutated, slimy, amphibious river creature that grows enormous and goes on a killing rampage. This movie started out promising -- the overdone Godzilla premise notwithstanding, it was actually beautifully shot with very convincing creature effects (compliments of Weta LOTR Workshop). But the acting isn't the best and the story gets sillier and sillier as we go on. A little girl is captured by the creature, regurgitated alive into its sewer lair and surviving for several days, despite the creature knowing she's there and somehow being completely incapable of finishing the job. She uses a cell phone to call her family for help -- in a sewer. I can't get a signal downstairs at the hospital. The family is trying desperately to save her, against the obstacles of being hunted by the government (for suspicion of viral contamination from the creature) as well as their own petty in-fighting. By the climax of the movie, the girl's father has become some kind of political martyr, with thousands protesting for his freedom, and the creature is killed rather anticlimactically. Having some spare time, I took a look at the special feature "Director's reflections." This was literally only the director apologizing to every single extra who had their scene cut or their face partially obscured in any way in the entire film. The regret went on and on. Most peculiar. Okay, I'll admit it: I had a hard time staying awake through this one.
cmpriest paid much closer attention, perhaps you should read her take for a much more in-depth (but spoilery) look. 1.5 out of 5The Wicker Man: I Tivo'd this ages ago and finally got around to watching it last night. There seems to be a glut of Nicolas Cage movies out there now, Ghost Rider (which I can't envision ever being bored enough to watch) , Next (which I actually watched most of on the plane back from London) and this one. I'll admit, with his hair not in that stupid-ass, practically mullet style, there might have been a tiny rekindling of my old passion for Nic. In this he plays a cop summoned by an old flame to a mysterious island to search for her (their) daughter (I assure you, this little plot twist was hardly surprising, I haven't spoiled anything). The island, despite its idyllic setting, is off-kilter and ominous, inhabited by a population of mostly women. The few menfolk that are spotted are engaged in menial labor and unable or unwilling to speak. It's obvious everyone is hiding something, but what? He digs and digs until he finds out much more than he wanted to know. Also starring the mannish woman from Northern Exposure, Leelee Sobieski, who annoys me to no end, and Ellen Burstyn in a very brief, but chilling role. For all the great acting and fantastically creepy atmosphere, I saw the ending coming a mile away, which is a shame because it would have been a good one had I not been so world-weary and jaded. 2 out of 5
I watched the season premiere of Torchwood, which looks like a BBC X-Files, except you actually get to see monsters (say what you will about the cheesy way the rest of the show was shot, but their monster effects are top notch). There's a scene where she's walking down a long corridor towards a....man-shaped thing. His head looks just a little off, but it's too blurry and far away to tell. She slowly gets closer and closer, and he slowly comes into view, and let me just say it's one of the creepiest fucking things I've seen on TV in a long, long time.
Until, at Jeffy's insistence, I tracked down a Doctor Who episode from the newest series with David Tennant, "Blink," on YouTube. Creatures called the "Weeping Angels" have invaded London. As long as someone is looking at them, they turn to stone and appear to be statues from a cemetery. But the second you blink or turn your back, they come to life and attack you. Good fucking Christ. I watched this at about midnight....big mistake. Before going to bed I locked my balcony door (we live on the third floor). Only one other movie has ever made me lock the balcony door (it was The Relic -- I know, not a landmark horror movie, but the conditions just happened to be right to freak me out sufficiently). Actually it was ludicrous to lock the door, since our house is full of gargoyles so technically the danger was inside, but the best horror material is the stuff that inspires utter irrationality in otherwise intelligent individuals.
Before the horror, I accompanied the shimmering
dopshoppe to see Superbad. I'll be honest Alicia (if you're bothering to read this *smirk*), this wouldn't have been my first choice of a movie. After being so sorely disappointed in Knocked Up, I would have been perfectly content to wait for this to come to cable. But for the presence of Michael Cera, I might not have gone at all. Tery and I have adored Michael since episode one of Arrested Development. We recognized instantly his impeccable comic timing, his understated, one might even say droll style. Mark our words, we'd say, he's going places. Not that Superbad was one of those places, but I still see loftier goals for him after this. This is an American Pie for the 2000's obviously, except no sex ever takes place. Evan (Cera) and best bud Seth (repellant and obnoxious Jonah Hill) are determined to use their last remaining weeks before graduation to become Lotharios so they have experience for college. This of course is mostly the plan of Seth, who might have gotten into Dartmouth with Evan if he spent more time studying and less time drawing penises. This is a source of great underlying tension between the two, and the only pretext for any serious drama. Wait, let's go back. You heard me right -- penises. For a movie all about getting beaver, there's enough blatant homoeroticism here to make even a Snarry fan like myself blush. Seth confesses to Evan that in 5th grade he went through a phase of obsessively drawing penises. He had a lunchbox filled with this artwork. When it's accidentally discovered by classmate Becca, she runs off screaming. Okay, a) when I was in 5th grade, I would have had no idea at all what they were. Kids are growing up faster and faster, I guess. b) You can't tell me something like that wouldn't have earned him a very unfortunate nickname that would have haunted him to the end of his academic career. Apparently it doesn't, but he seems completely unaware how lucky he is (he's only tormented instead for being fat and generally vile).
Practically the entire movie is devoted to the quest to buy liquor for the one party they're invited to (they agree to buy for the WHOLE party, despite having only one fake I.D. (their friend Fogell a.k.a. McLovin, that you saw in the preview), $100 and a very long list of top shelf booze requests from the other partygoers). McLovin spends the entire movie with cops Seth Rogen and Bill Hader, who are pretty terrifyingly irresponsible for lawmen. Seth and Evan embark on a series of misadventures that occasionally have very funny moments (like when Evan easily outruns Rogen, leaving him gasping painfully, "He's a freak.....he's the fastest kid on earth....he's the fastest kid on earth....").
When they finally get to the party in Act III and get with their respective girls, there's a delicious irony that Evan is too much of a gentleman to take advantage of his totally plastered date, while Seth's is a nondrinker (kudos for someone FINALLY showing a teenager who realizes there's more to life than getting shitfaced) and completely turned off by his inebriated state. The boys go home together and crash on Evan's floor, exchanging some heartfelt and touching best friend love that teeters just on the edge of being totally gay (I'm sure there was some squirming on the part of the two guys in the row in front of us, who were so insecure in their sexuality that they kept an empty seat between them).
I enjoyed this far more than Knocked Up. My crush on Michael Cera has grown deeper than ever (even though
dopshoppe thinks it might be more than a little wrong to love a boy his age). But Judd Apatow still seems far too preoccupied with male sex organs for my liking. And I felt the cops living a second adolescence with their new friend McLovin might have gone on just a bit too long. Still, worth a chuckle. 2.5-3 out of 5Last but not at all least, just today I discovered Netflix's instant watching feature (I knew about it, but didn't realize it came free) and I selected The Darwin Awards. Joseph Fiennes is a police profiler-turned-insurance claims investigator who becomes fascinated with the Darwin Awards and what kinds of people are predisposed to such acts of excessive stupidity. He hits the road with fellow investigator Winona Ryder (who is finally starting to look older than 16) to prove his theory that potential recipients can be identified and denied insurance. He himself is the complete opposite, calculating every imaginable risk until he's terrified to do just about anything. Winona, of course, slowly convinces him that a life with zero risk is a life hardly worth living.
I don't know that he ever proves his case, but it does make for some highly amusing storytelling, with an all-star cast -- Chris Penn, David Arquette, Juliette Lewis, Metallica, Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters, DB Sweeney, Lukas Haas, Josh Charles.... there's no end to them. I knew I had to own this movie when I saw the scene of Fiennes, who has smugly strapped himself into a jury-rigged bungee cord contraption to ensure his safety in a hotel shower, gets flipped upside down and stuck in that position, and forced to call weakly for help. How often do you get to see that?
This movie is amusing, at times hilarious, from start to finish, and has Joseph Fiennes employing my very favorite device, (anyone? guess?) the voice-over narration, Fight Club style. I immediately ran to Hollywood Video hoping to score a used copy. Too soon I guess, so I got it online. I think it might be the best movie I watched all weekend. 4.5 out of 5
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 05:30 am (UTC)And in terms of age, hey, he's over 18! Fair game, I say.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 05:09 am (UTC)As I read your post, I keep seeing the number 5. I wonder what it means?!?!?!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 03:55 pm (UTC)I'm sorry, your icon still looks like a baby to me. Maybe if the bonnet looked more like hair by removing the face outline.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-15 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 06:26 am (UTC)In any case, you definitely get to pick the movie for our next hot date.
Also, I'd totally forgotten about the uber-straight boys in the row ahead of us. Damn, I'm getting old or something. Usually stuff that amusing doesn't escape me.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 04:00 pm (UTC)Well, I already know I want to see Sweeney Todd, you Depp-hater you. Don't worry, MyFriendDeb wants to go with me. I'm sure something will come along between now and Christmas that we both can enjoy.
That's because you're out of LJ mode, darling. Not thinking like a blogger anymore.