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grrgoyl
This here is Jerky. Yes, that's actually his name, not my nickname, and it turns out to be pretty apt. Jerky had a big old "Will Bite" sticker on his cage, which as I've said before I usually only half respect. It's not difficult to mistrust my co-workers' judgment when they're sticking that red flag on kittens.
I cleaned Jerky's box and refilled his bowls as he regarded me with supreme boredom. I scritched his head tentatively, which elicited neither pleasure nor aggression. Then as I shut his door, giving it an extra push to make sure it latched, he lazily stuck a paw through and IMPALED my thumb with one enormous talon. Hooked it into my flesh, and pinned it there firmly for 10 seconds or so, like a true sociopath his heart rate never going above 140. I finally wrenched free and sucked the blood off, giving him a comically (from his standpoint) wounded look and said, "OW! That HURT, you...you...JERK." He just looked at me, still with that silent apathy, as if to say, "Well, you WERE warned about me."
But I still prefer cats to dogs.
~*~
I thought I was through bitching about my job, I really did, but then Saturday night I received another offer of an "incentive bonus" for Sunday. They do this whenever accounts start falling seriously behind, since we promise our doctors a 24-hour turnaround time. The letter starts off all "team effort" and "dedication to our clients" and "ra, ra, ra," but then eventually we cut to the chase. Their idea of an "incentive bonus" amounts to literally an extra $2.50 for an 8-hour shift. That's before taxes and that's total. The sad thing is this is also their idea of a holiday bonus. Sure, you're missing out on quality time with your loved ones, but here's an extra two bucks to sweeten the deal! Even more than a year after enjoying a solid two days off a week every week, my days off are still more priceless than gold to me. And if I WERE to put a price on them, it would be a damn sight more than $2.50.
Once upon a time I replied to these emails with outrage, explaining what a slap in the face they were (at that time they had the nerve to call it an "appreciation bonus"). These missives were treated much the same as all my mail, in other words summarily ignored. Well, ignorance can work both ways, my friend, and that's exactly how I treated this one. I'm all for being a team player, but every once in awhile it would be kind of nice if the team would do something in return for me (still waiting for word on my raise). Maybe that's not the strict definition of "team player", but it's still how I feel.
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FIRST, wtf?
Date: 2007-09-26 03:54 pm (UTC)Technical praise: I really like how you merged these two subjects with your title.
Technical question: How do you get your cats to stay still like that, looking right into the camera?
Are you just not going to come in on Sunday? You're quite brave. I'd put that mail in my Spam folder just in case someone demands evidence. Good luck with that raise.
Yah, I thought it was kind of pathetic too
Why a-thank you.
Don't tell anyone, but I actually work at a taxidermist.
A) Sunday is my day off, so if I don't want to work that's tough titties for them, B) I work from home, so there's no boss to report to (or not) physically, C) they're a huge, faceless conglomerate who isn't going to follow up one rogue employee (I'm fairly sure). Thanks for the good luck. I'm sure I'll get it, the question is if they'll pay retroactively for 2 months (doubt it).
Clearly everyone's waiting for me to make my move. It's nice of them.
Date: 2007-09-26 10:53 pm (UTC)I'll buy that. The look on that cat's eyes is empty and soul-less. ZOMBIE CAT?! This calls for a macro! Here's the popular standard:
and here's the one I made just for this:
Ah, I thought that grand total of $2.00 was recompense for a mandatory extra day of work. In that case have fun not trying to impress people who probably wouldn't notice if you did work, either/
Yep. They're under strict orders to let you be FIRST as much as possible
Date: 2007-09-27 01:07 am (UTC)That zombie cat is HIGH-larious! As is the Jerky macro. And here I thought when you vanished you were dozing in your computer chair, exhausted from pumping out three whole comments for me.
They know their place on the comment-chain!
Date: 2007-09-27 01:31 am (UTC)Sarcasm noted, but normally that'd be close to the truth. Actually, it took me 2-3 hours to get Photoshop loaded (I had to completely re-work my music/video library to make room for the program to run for 5 minutes), because obviously I couldn't have posted a comment without the macros! Then I went for Chinese food, picked up my sister, watched an episode of Daria, remembered I was supposed to be doing something on the computer, and got caught up somehow re-reading a 3-year long Spike/Wesley RPG I've read at least 20 times. (Nothing else gets done when I'm reading that story, because you literally can't find a moment to stop at. Everything moves so slow and blends together so you feel like you've been reading for an hour but really it's been 3.) Then I finished the macro. I feel like I've accomplished stuff today.
You are undoubtedly highest on the comment-chain.
Date: 2007-09-27 03:34 am (UTC)Is there a lot of profit to be made in selling cats? And are there a lot of swamps in metro Michigan? And "man" road? THAT I can't just ignore. You get off easy once, you think you can just throw in typos willy-nilly?
Spike/Wesley? I guess there aren't many pairings that people won't touch. That's crazy insane. What's next? Potential Slayer #6 and Gachnar the fear demon?
I hope nobody else sees this thread. Quick! Comment-screen!
Date: 2007-09-27 04:00 am (UTC)In the past, a lot of my Aunt's pets have been "donations" from my mom (READ: she gave them away when they got messy or mean or she tired of them), and my mom's allergies are such that she can only get certain purebred pets. With the papers, they're worth quite a lot. Metro? Not so much, but I live in a "new construction" suburb of Detroit that was built on a combination of farm and swamp land. We've got corn fields and creepy crawling creatures. And fish flies. I guess I should stop, um, testing you, now that I know you will call me on my typos. I love that you use the phrase willy-nilly.
Hey, that's not an obscure pairing at all. They worked together for an entire season of Angel! And they're both British ferchristssake. It's not like the authors put together Spike, Xander, and Doyle, or Willow and Lindsey. I've seen it done.
Oh, it's fine. If I want to keep something secret, I just post it in my journal
Date: 2007-09-27 04:29 am (UTC)Oh purebred cats, sure. You probably don't want to know my opinion of people who give animals away (or throw them away) when they become inconvenient.
Ahh, the fish flies. We'll always have the fish flies. And willy-nilly.
Still haven't seen the Angel. Waiting for Old Friend Bear to buy the sets to loan me (I'd add them to Netflix, but Tery might start getting a little impatient eventually).
Way low down on the comment-chain, almost too slow to move
Date: 2007-09-29 07:27 pm (UTC)Although kavieshana is giving me the metaphorical spear-claw-to-the-thumb here, I couldn't help but LOL at Zombie Cat.
And Gachnar + Potential Slayer No. 6 = HOT! Hee.
The comment chain is a real dog-eat-dog world.
Date: 2007-09-30 06:52 pm (UTC)Can we get that made into a metaphor? That would be AWESOME.
You crazy Bear.
Re: Way low down on the comment-chain, almost too slow to move
Date: 2007-10-01 03:46 am (UTC)I request that someone actually make a Gachnar + Potential Slayer No. 6 fic. Extra points if it turns out she's afraid of baskets of fruit.
That would explain those WMD plans you posted a few weeks back.
Date: 2007-10-01 03:55 am (UTC)I'll take that as a high compliment.
I have the same opinion (well, almost. I'm sure I've mentioned my AWINAL's dog who has tumors and thyroid problems and etc, who looks to be in so much pain he'd be better off dead), and I vehemently objected to my mom buying the eldest of our two cats because I didn't think I'd be able to deal with losing another pet. Surprisingly, she seems to be doing everything she can to convince my step-dad not to get rid of the cats.
Personally, I could do without us having the fish flies. Though that was a pretty picture.
I'm not sure you can imagine how horrified I am at being reminded you haven't seen Angel yet. GET ON THAT.
Yah. Don't tell Bushie -- it's such fun watching him dig his own holes.
Date: 2007-10-02 12:08 am (UTC)What does AWINAL stand for? I can't stand seeing an animal in pain, though it does make it easier to say goodbye, I think, as opposed to losing them unexpectedly.
I hope to never meet a fish fly in this lifetime.
Talk to Old Friend Bear. She's my Buffy supplier.
Re: Yah. Don't tell Bushie -- it's such fun watching him dig his own holes.
Date: 2007-10-03 06:45 am (UTC)Sorry, Aunt Who Is Not A Lesbian.
Okay, here's the plan:
- Join
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ysi_leftovers
- Download iTunes if you haven't got it
- Go here and get schooled.
Or, try tvlinks.uk. Seriously, if I had any of the DVDS I'd send them to you right now.Re: Yah. Don't tell Bushie -- it's such fun watching him dig his own holes.
Date: 2007-10-05 12:42 am (UTC)Oh yes, your aunt. I'd've been more on the ball if you updated more than twice a year.
Download every season of Angel? Hell no. I'll rent it someday, I swear to you (perhaps once this glut of new fall seasons dies down).
Re: Yah. Don't tell Bushie -- it's such fun watching him dig his own holes.
Date: 2007-10-10 04:59 am (UTC)Re: Yah. Don't tell Bushie -- it's such fun watching him dig his own holes.
Date: 2007-10-10 05:01 am (UTC)