Oh, this, that and the other

[grrgoyl]

Protesting the LJ Protest

I finished writing this yesterday, but put off posting until today just to protest the so-called "strike" against LJ. You don't want ads on your page? A paid account is $20 a year. $1.66 per month. Name me one other service you can get for so cheap (and newspaper home delivery doesn't count; those people can't give it away). People spend more than that a week at Starbucks, so get a grip.

So the new owners didn't clear certain changes with the users first. Name me one other company who gets approval from its clients before modifying service. My ISP suddenly added banner ads to my email page one day. I wasn't informed of this! But I got used to it, because there are far, far, very far worse things going on in the news to worry about.

"LJ doesn't appreciate the contribution of free users!" Welcome to the world, where money speaks louder than angst-ridden drivel about your latest kegger.

~*~

But the Real Reason I Don't Care is Because Our Kitchen is Shiny and New

On a brighter note: Our kitchen is now fully updated, with the exception of the faux-butcher block countertops and ceramic eggshell sink, but these are far easier to live with than this was:

Note: Not our actual stove because boneheaded me forgot to take before pics, but close enough to give you an idea

I did think to take an intermediate pic:

Just before Installation Guy put the new microwave in

There was some brou-ha-ha surrounding the cost of installation. "Kevin Murphy," our salesman, had quoted a cost of $124 for installation, which seemed reasonable to us despite the warning that if they had to put in an electrical outlet it would be an additional $65 on the day. We didn't want to mess around with electrical stuff ourselves, nor did we want to do our typical half-assed job hanging a very heavy microwave over the new glasstop stove, which we had been told would be cheaper to replace the entire appliance if the glass were to crack from something falling on it. No thanks.

Then I looked more closely at our receipt and noticed we had been charged $251 for installation. GAH. Assuming this wasn't including the electrical outlet, that meant installation cost more than the actual merchandise. The last time we paid that much for installation was when we had our ceiling fan put into our cathedral ceiling, a service we felt was worth every penny because the guy had to perch on a 15-foot ladder and rewire the whole area. This was just screwing a microwave to the wall.

I agonized over it, sweated about it all week long, until Tery suggested I call "my boyfriend" to straighten it out.

He seemed just as confused as me, and felt perfectly horrible about it; particularly in light of the fact that he had just been given a copy of my sickeningly doting feedback from the website. He thanked me for it but I was too busy being mortified to remember his exact words.

It turned out the store computer rang up charges automatically and he had no control over it, and furthermore that Lowe's had only just recently upped the price (they call it a "conversion" to justify the exorbitant cost). But since we had been quoted the lower price, he promised to make it right. He called me several times over the following day to assure me he would work on it, but he had to "find $62 somewhere" to refund me. I didn't want my sweetie getting into trouble, but neither did I want to pay $127 for what turned out to be the work of 10 minutes for the guy. THAT'S bullshit.

At any rate, here's our new grown-up kitchen:

Or at least the stove part of it.

P.S.: Getting our old microwave off the counter was the equivalent of adding an island. So much space! Ironically, we've eaten take-out almost every night since. Serves me right for being lured in with the promise of exotic gourmet meals on the new stove.

~*~

Won't someone think of the children?

One of the up- (or down-, depending on how you look at it) sides of my job is I get to see all the crazy names kids are being saddled with these days. Most of the time the names are normal enough, but with radical new spellings, dooming them to a lifetime of correcting customer service phone personnel (take it from me, this is my well-rehearsed spiel: "A-D-A-M as in Adam. C-E-W, I-C-Z as in cat zebra" which STILL doesn't guarantee against error, but I don't have all damn day). "Tiffany" spelled "Tiphanie," or "Mackenzie" with a silent "ly." Och, there's no limit to the ends parents will go to to make their offspring unique, rather than letting them accomplish it themselves with their personality the good old-fashioned way. When the spellcheck invariably rejects these names, I always murmur, "Yes, I KNOW it's a stupid spelling. Just deal with it." to my computer.

But I encountered a couple of names recently that really made my jaw drop, unbelievably on the same day. First "Timberly." Not Timothy, not Kimberly, but an unholy union of the two. Timberly. At least it was a girl, not that the name is especially gender specific (but the "berly" far outweighs the "Tim").

Then, even worse, "Drizzt." I thought it was maybe an old Norse family name or something, then decided to Google it. It turns out this is the name of an elf-like D&D character from the Forbidden Realms fantasy series. Which is far sadder than when I thought they had just pulled some Scrabble letters out of the bag at random and did the best they could with them. Drizzt. I wonder how many Legolas's were born this year?

Parents. These kids have to go to school and answer to these names, and other children can be unspeakably, unbelievably cruel. Don't give your kid such a handicap right out of the gate, unless of course you plan to homeschool them. (See my sidebar link to the page "Baby's named a bad, bad thing" for even better examples of parents that have lost all hold on reality in their desperate quest for unusual names.)

Lastly, and I'm probably risking patient confidentiality here but the whole name is necessary, "Velva Sinner." Good old Velva, (who is now 79 years old) ex-porn star, huge in the 1940's -- I'm joking, but with a name like that, what other career choices do you have?

~*~

The Very Definition of "Pay No Mind"

The other night Tery and I were watching TV on the couch together, just doing our part to erode American values like every other gay couple, when she asked me something. I was completely and single-mindedly focused on the program and heard not a word. However, since Malcolm was cavorting about in front of us, I just assumed she was pointing out he was down there and not to put my feet down. "I have no plans to move," I said distractedly. I eventually looked over to find a stricken, slightly hurt expression on her face.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I asked if you could hand me my slipper, which is right under your feet."

Oh. Well, I can see why my response must have seemed callous and inconsiderate.

~*~

Stardust

Finally, a quick movie review. Stardust: For some reason I thought this was sci-fi, probably thanks to the very closely titled and also recently rented Sunshine (quickie review: very pretty to look at, and not just Cillian Murphy, gorgeous soundtrack (unavailable to buy) but sort of fizzles out in a very anticlimactic ending. Awesome scene of astronaut dying messily after falling off the ship into the airless pressure of space might be worth purchase price alone, though I've resisted thus far).

No, Stardust is pure fantasy. The reason it attracted my attention at all was because it was based on a Neil Gaiman book (and I mistakenly thought he had written the screenplay or something, but no). A Neil Gaiman book, might I add, that is actually sitting unread on my shelf. Someday I might be able to tear myself away from the Snarry long enough to give it a whirl.

Stardust is a simple story -- a star has fallen to Earth, but in the magical world of Stormhold she takes the form of a beautiful woman. She's much sought after by many people for different reasons: a treacherous prince who has murdered his rival brothers for the throne wants the immortality she can impart (if he eats her heart), as do three old witches. Simple Tristan wants her only to prove his love to the even simpler Victoria in the simple village of Wall.

Most of the movie is concerned with Tristan getting the star (named Yvaine) back to Wall, but of course on that journey he does a great deal of growing up and realizes perhaps Victoria isn't whom he wants after all. Meanwhile they are pursued by the prince and the witch, and eventually they all come together in a very climactic scene at the end with dazzling effects and fight choreography.

The first thing I noticed about this movie was the star-studded (no pun intended) cast. My god. Tristan is a newcomer, but Yvaine is Claire Danes. The witch is Michelle Pfeiffer and the king is Peter O'Toole. And it doesn't stop there, my friends. Three of the seven princes are David Walliams (from Little Britain, probably not easily recognized by some), Mark Heap (Spaced, ditto) and Rupert Everett. There's also Mark Williams (Harry Potter's Arthur Weasley to most). The narrator is Sir Ian McKellan, and later there are cameos by Ricky Gervais and Robert de Niro. The names just kept coming and coming.

Not always entirely successful though, in my opinion. Claire Danes was evidently cast based on her chemistry with Tristan, but she's too plain for my tastes and I can't stand how she knits her eyebrows so much (an even more disturbing effect in this film, because they're bleached into invisibility). And de Niro plays a pirate captain whose gruff demeanor is a façade to hide the fact that he's an offensively flaming fashion designer (no, I mean really offensive. Made the hackles on my neck stand up. One of the greatest actors of our time and he can't do gay to save his life). GAH.

It's a good story with some very funny lines as only Gaiman can write. Whether it succeeds in being an updated Princess Bride as Gaiman hoped remains to be seen, but there have been worse attempts made. The DVD is an anomaly in that the deleted scenes (which normally I skip; in my experience, most deleted scenes achieve that status for good reason) are funnier than what actually made it into the movie (mostly ad libbing from the hilarious seven brothers). I'm buying it mostly on the strength of a very cool fight scene at the end, not to mention the Ferrets' Revenge (can't go into more detail, hate to spoil anything). 3.5 out of 5

~*~

Finally finally (for real this time) I leave you with yet another Gay Boy moment:

How I love my Gay Boys

Comments

[aurora-z.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, normal names can bother me just as much as weird ones. When I worked for a medical billing company, I had a patient named Richard Head.


RICHARD HEAD.


Are parents really that moronic that they think this poor kid wouldn't get teased mercilessly for the rest of his life?

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Haha that took me a good long while (caffeine only just starting to take effect). I was like, "So what? Richard isn't so bad." Then it dawned on me. No, kids would NEVER take that opening, would they?

Another one you missed.

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

No, kids would NEVER take that opening, would they?

Dick Head would take the opening.

Re: Another one you missed.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, you're naughty, you are.

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

Protesting the LJ Protest

I get all of my news from metaquotes. Like this rant about anti-semitism. You didn't mention that bit! I can't believe there are people in this century that are still trying to live out The Fixer.

But the Real Reason I Don't Care is Because Our Kitchen is Shiny and New

But wait, what happened? Was your lov-ah able to rescue you from your bill?

Won't someone think of the children?

"Mackenzie" with a silent "ly."

Please tell me you are joking.

Would "Timberly" spelled with a "u" be more manly? "Tim-burly".

Then, even worse, "Drizzt."

I'm not familiar with this level of nerdiness. Is the "t" silent?

What would you name your child? Grrgoyl2 would look neat on a birth certificate. I've decided (completely independent of any future sperm donor, whose opinion will be processed and immediately tossed aside) that if I ever have a child (this is highly unlikely, but not impossible, and I like to be prepared) I will name it Julian if it's a boy, and Grace if it's a girl. Please tell me if you have a fundamental problem with these names, before it's too late. I worry that Julian might be a bit girly and I don't so much like the meaning but it's established and internationally... I want to say "viable" but that can't be the right word. "Recognizable"? "Accessible"?

Stardust

LALALALA HAVEN'T SEEN IT FINGERS IN EARS.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Hoo boy. This anti-Semitism angle is new to me. See what I mean? There are just so many facets to it that it seems to me simply staying off LJ for one day can't possibly begin to articulate to our Russian overlords all the problems. "I'm striking but I'm NOT an anti-Semite. And I don't mind the ads so much. But down with everything else!" If you want to take action, write a strongly-worded letter. Essentially doing nothing for 24 hours isn't all that impressive. I can do that and not be protesting a single thing. See how that works?

I pay my $1.66 a month to use LJ as a relaxing hobby and an entertaining distraction from work. If I were to leave it, it would be over all this childish drama generated by people with way too much free time on their hands.

LOLOL Yes, my luvah got our refund through yesterday. And is taking us out to dinner for the stress he inadvertently caused us (not really, but wouldn't that be great customer service?)

I was joking about the Mackenzie but nothing else. I guess Timberly is androgynous, and the "-burly" ending would be the male variation (like "Leslie" or "Lee.")

No, the "t" isn't silent in Drizzt, stupidhead! Although the doctor seemed loathe to have to dictate the name and pronounced it slightly differently each time.

I like Julian very much, male or female. What does it mean? I think of Julian Lennon. I like "J" names in general. Grace is okay, old-fashioned, non-ambiguous...unless you plan to spell it "Ghrais" or something (don't laugh. I'm telling you, some parents are insane. Some spellings are so out there that I have to sound them out loud). I'm flattered my opinion means so much to you, but you have excellent taste and judgment. Go with what you like (unless I'm to be named godmother or something).

LALALA That's why I cut it, mook.

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

I almost feel like I have to post, so everyone will know I love the Jewz. By doing nothing, they're forcing me to do something.

$1.66 (give or take a few dimes monthly to account for my extra userpics) has got to be the cheapest cost for a hobby on the planet.

"Lee" can be a girl's name?

Stupidhead, what? That's a reasonable assumption, I think.

"J" names are quite popular. I like the idea of my kid having initials towards the beginning of the alphabet, as certain studies have told me is the only way to insure their later success in business. Plus, "J" is a very nice initial to sign (cursive-wise and also in sign language).

Julian means "downy-haired youth" or something similar, and what is that even supposed to mean? I would spell Grace G-R-A-C-E, the only way it ought to be spelled, and maybe I'd call her Gracie. It was my paternal grandfather's mother's name (so naturally it would be old-fashioned), and he's quite pleased I've reserved it. Good job her name wasn't Edna or Hortense or something equally unpleasant.

Your being the godmother would at most effect her middle name, goose.

I didn't see the cut! I read your entries in the standard comment-form because I comment as I read.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

All so complicated. So complicated.

But hang on...I just went back to edit my original comment, and the EDIT button is gone. Is this part of all the new changes? Is it too late to strike now? How about you and I have our own little strike tomorrow?

EDIT: And now it's back! What kind of sick games are you playing, LJ????

Oh yes, Lee. There was a woman named Lee back in Rhode Island. She was adorable, athletic, slightly butch, 100% married with children. Tery and I both had the hugest crush on her.

I fail to see where "Drizz" is preferable to "Drizzt." I'm naming my child "Stewpit Hedt" now.

If your initial study was worth anything, I should own Trump Tower (initials "EA").

Agreed, Hortense bleah. Almost as awful as Elaine (which took a very long time to grow on me).

I apologize then if I spoiled anything, though I tried to keep it relatively vague.

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

You can only edit comments that haven't yet been replied to.

I'm naming my child "Stewpit Hedt" now.

I think that constitutes child abuse. His new parents will name him Timburly.

I like Elaine, despite the negative associations. I do not heart Seinfeld, not one bit.

Don't worry, didn't read.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

I did not know that. Which is a statement on how often comments are whizzing around so fast that I have no time to edit (today is an exception). I suppose it cuts back on people changing their argument midway and saying, "What are you talking about? That's what I said in the first place!"

Awww, I thought that was rather clever. "Stu" for short.

Thank you. Seinfeld sort of brought it back into vogue (I don't heart it either). Before that it was purely the domain of little old ladies (once sat in a salon waiting room for 20 minutes because the receptionist saw the name and never in a million years thought it could belong to such a young, vivacious vixen like me).

Thank god. I stay up nights worrying over whether I've spoiled someone that day or not. ; )

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

I once worked with a girl whose best friend's middle name was Legolas. This was before the movie was filmed and a case of literary geek parents rather than OMGORLANDOBLOOM!

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Middle name, really? I suspect my older sister and brother-in-law (who thankfully are both highly anti-reproduction) would have gone that route, being big-time scifi/fantasy lit geeks.

Delia, on the other hand, is a beautiful name. : )

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

That's what she said. I used to fancy Peregrin since my ex liked the name Perry and Pippin is my favorite hobbit. I seriously doubt I would have ever used it as a first name though.

Speaking of middle names, I know someone who gave their son the middle name Danger. Kind of dumb, but you know the boy is going to love being able to say "Danger is my middle name".

Aw, thank you!

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Danger, lol. Let's hope he grows up to be an international man of mystery!

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, baby!

[metatronis.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed Stardust The Movie as a movie, but it was lacking in all the wonderful little Gaiman details and subtleties that made the book so cool.

There's supposed to be a scene where a lion and a unicorn fight to the death. I mean, come on! How cool would that have been if they'd kept it?? I'd pay money just to see that!

Also, the movie ending was such a disappointment. The book ending was full of that wonderful bittersweet poignancy that Gaiman is famous for. The movie ending was just like "ACTION ACTION ACTION OMG NAO WE'RE BOTH STARZ 4EVER!!!"

The original story was a conventional fairy tale turned on its ass with little bits of subtle brilliance, and it doesn't underestimate its audience.
Goddamnit, hollywood.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

LOL I suppose the lesson to be learned here is it never pays to read the book first. Your comments make me want to read the book more than ever now.

SPOILER!!SPOILER!!SPOILER!!I just loved the scene where Septimus (who I just noticed was also in Sunshine, howdya like that?) drowns in mid-air and then his reanimated corpse fights Tristan. Almost made up for horrible, horrible, wincingly-horrible de Niro.

[metatronis.livejournal.com]

You should! It's not my All-time Favorite Book ever, but it's certainly worth a few reads.

Yeah, the movie did have some fairly cool/redeeming parts. I thought it was decent overall.

so many things to respond to and so many comments

[lizzieloudotcom.livejournal.com]

not a lot of boycotting going on around here I guess :)

I could see where people would get pissed about adds on "their" pages. If you take a lot of time to customize and personalize your page then suddenly there are adds for KINOKI FOOT PADS or something - that would suck huge. Especially if you are a paid subscriber. Freeloaders like me should have no say; we should have adds. 'Cause we're cheap.

Your kitchen looks marvelous. We need a new stove too. And a microwave that isn't a macaroni-caked embarrassment would be nice. And one of those air blowing devices that keep smoke from setting off your alarm and grease spots off your wall would be cool too. Or, maybe that just me.

I love the names thing. I breach some confidentiality too for this one: Precious Turnipseed. NO LIE!

You would enjoy the chapter on names in the book "Freakonomics."

"Pay No Mind" = lol!

"Grrgoyl2" = LOL Remember to send us lots of photos of your spawn!

Re: so many things to respond to and so many comments

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Nope. Very silly and a waste of time.

People who take a long time customizing their pages are probably dedicated enough to the site to have a paid account. Why go to all that trouble for a page you only look at once a month? Of course, as I said above, there are many different complaints the strike tried to address, but it seems to me a letter would be more articulate than simply staying offline -- because as one of my friends put it, there are so many users who update so spottily that how could the Russians possibly distinguish between a striker and someone who wouldn't have been on that day anyway?

LOL I had a dream the other night that you guys had sold us a house next door to yours. Being such a good friend, I had bought it sight unseen. Then I came to visit and see our new house, and it was this run-down little shack, with an outhouse and burnt-out walls (also a cheetah was in the outhouse that we had to run away from). I was sad because I didn't want to leave Denver, but also didn't want to leave you in the lurch. : (

The stove is tres sexy indeed, but the food still tastes the same.

LOL Precious Turnipseed! Someone ought to write a book. Or have they?