Signed, Hates Kids in Denver
Jun. 10th, 2008 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylI wasn't exactly STOKED about seeing Kung Fu Panda. I mean, it looked mildly amusing but I couldn't find anyone to go with me -- not that that's stopped me in the past. But it was at IMAX, and I was curious to see the Kung Fu angle in animation. I studied Kung Fu briefly in college, under our dorm-mate Jonas Sanchez. He was also our D&D Dungeon Master -- he had mad leadership skillz. He was Filipino with a third-degree black belt. I've also never once seen him sweat, through many rigorous workouts. I decided to look old Jonas up on the internet, and actually found him. He's still role-playing, but in a different capacity now: O hai sensei. (I'm kidding, we didn't call him sensei)
Sadly Kung Fu, like Marching Band (which took up way too much time for only one credit), was abandoned. I miss them both now. So off to the movie I went.
Well worth it. Sure, it's basically a retelling of Mulan -- Po (Jack Black, who is the only possible choice for this role) is a fat, lazy panda who idolizes the "Furious Five" Kung Fu masters, Tigress, Viper, Crane, Monkey and Mantis (my personal favorite, as that was the style Jonas selected for me). Through an unexpected twist of fate, he is picked to be the Dragon Warrior to defeat the formidable and presumably irredeemably evil Tai Lung (a snow leopard). No one believes he can do it, least of all himself. Like Mulan, it's full of beautiful little philosophies that may or may not actually be Chinese. And of course a happy, heartwarming ending all about finding the truth within yourself that makes you happiest.
Where to begin? The animation is of course first rate. The battle scenes have a fluidity that make you feel like you're flying, effortless, dynamic and very exciting. The emotional scenes pack their punch, and the laughs are all Jack. Only he can pull off a character that's alternately bombastic and humble, brazen and awestruck.
If you go, bring a crib sheet -- the "name that actor" game drove me crazy AGAIN, despite a visit to IMDb prior. Shifu the monk is of course Dustin Hoffman. Tigress is Angelina Jolie, Viper is Lucy Liu, Crane is David Cross (he drove me the craziest), Mantis is Seth Rogen and Monkey is Jackie Chan (explaining why he only had one line). Tai Lung SHOULD have been Rickman, but only because I wish he were in every movie (instead it's Ian McShane, who I do not recognize).
My one complaint is if Po IS the Dragon Warrior, then that style must be characterized by simply repelling your opponent with your gelatinous belly (it isn't. It's based on smooth, reptilian movements and claw-like attacks. But I guess the kiddies don't know that).
Ahhh, the kiddies. Of course I didn't expect to go to a children's movie without seeing my fair share. It actually wasn't too terrible; I had a woman in front of me with two little girls, whose tinkling laughter often inspired my own. To my left were a group of boys, younger accompanied by older, also behaving appropriately.
No, the problem was this woman farther down the rows who had a little boy, 2 or 3 years old. This is too young to bring to a movie, even one rated G. The kid screamed and cried sporadically throughout the first and second acts. Then during the third, he would not be silenced. She carried him up to the back of the theater to quiet him, where I was sitting. My frustration could barely be contained. Lady, does it look like he's getting ANYTHING out of the movie? Yes, she paid her $13.50, plus another $10 for the kid. But you know, I paid for my ticket too.
Speaking of which, why waste an IMAX movie on a 2-year-old? Aren't normal, average movie screens just as enormous when you're that age? And an expensive gamble. Testing your kid's movie behavior in an IMAX theater is like buying beluga caviar and Moet & Chandon to see what he likes for dinner.
But yeah, you should see Kung Fu Panda, and in IMAX if at all possible. Can't wait for the DVD. Skedoosh!
Sadly Kung Fu, like Marching Band (which took up way too much time for only one credit), was abandoned. I miss them both now. So off to the movie I went.
Well worth it. Sure, it's basically a retelling of Mulan -- Po (Jack Black, who is the only possible choice for this role) is a fat, lazy panda who idolizes the "Furious Five" Kung Fu masters, Tigress, Viper, Crane, Monkey and Mantis (my personal favorite, as that was the style Jonas selected for me). Through an unexpected twist of fate, he is picked to be the Dragon Warrior to defeat the formidable and presumably irredeemably evil Tai Lung (a snow leopard). No one believes he can do it, least of all himself. Like Mulan, it's full of beautiful little philosophies that may or may not actually be Chinese. And of course a happy, heartwarming ending all about finding the truth within yourself that makes you happiest.
Where to begin? The animation is of course first rate. The battle scenes have a fluidity that make you feel like you're flying, effortless, dynamic and very exciting. The emotional scenes pack their punch, and the laughs are all Jack. Only he can pull off a character that's alternately bombastic and humble, brazen and awestruck.
If you go, bring a crib sheet -- the "name that actor" game drove me crazy AGAIN, despite a visit to IMDb prior. Shifu the monk is of course Dustin Hoffman. Tigress is Angelina Jolie, Viper is Lucy Liu, Crane is David Cross (he drove me the craziest), Mantis is Seth Rogen and Monkey is Jackie Chan (explaining why he only had one line). Tai Lung SHOULD have been Rickman, but only because I wish he were in every movie (instead it's Ian McShane, who I do not recognize).
My one complaint is if Po IS the Dragon Warrior, then that style must be characterized by simply repelling your opponent with your gelatinous belly (it isn't. It's based on smooth, reptilian movements and claw-like attacks. But I guess the kiddies don't know that).
Ahhh, the kiddies. Of course I didn't expect to go to a children's movie without seeing my fair share. It actually wasn't too terrible; I had a woman in front of me with two little girls, whose tinkling laughter often inspired my own. To my left were a group of boys, younger accompanied by older, also behaving appropriately.
No, the problem was this woman farther down the rows who had a little boy, 2 or 3 years old. This is too young to bring to a movie, even one rated G. The kid screamed and cried sporadically throughout the first and second acts. Then during the third, he would not be silenced. She carried him up to the back of the theater to quiet him, where I was sitting. My frustration could barely be contained. Lady, does it look like he's getting ANYTHING out of the movie? Yes, she paid her $13.50, plus another $10 for the kid. But you know, I paid for my ticket too.
Speaking of which, why waste an IMAX movie on a 2-year-old? Aren't normal, average movie screens just as enormous when you're that age? And an expensive gamble. Testing your kid's movie behavior in an IMAX theater is like buying beluga caviar and Moet & Chandon to see what he likes for dinner.
But yeah, you should see Kung Fu Panda, and in IMAX if at all possible. Can't wait for the DVD. Skedoosh!
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-11 02:30 am (UTC)I have a feeling I'll be seeing this movie a lot of times, over and over, very soon, so it's reassuring to know that you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-11 04:08 am (UTC)I did like it. People talk smack about Jack all the time, but he really, really makes me laugh.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-11 10:36 am (UTC)I saw the trailer when I went to see Indiana Jones and knew that we would go to see it. Hubby's a graphics desitgner who draws cartoons. Needless to say, we rarely miss a kiddy movie! But this one looked kind of awesome. Even after Indiana, people were walking out going "Skedoosh LOL!"
Re the kid: You should complain. The lady and her kid will be removed, but they'll get a refund. And I doubt she paid for the kid anyway. Over here, kids under three see movies for free -- how fucked up is that? I can't believe she didn't take the kid outside to quiet it down! Like it's going to be any calmer at the back of the theatre than at the front. Sometimes -- well, regularly -- I really hate people with children. There's this kind of sulking attitude of "well, I have to put up with it, why shouldn't you?" Uh, cos I know my way to the birthcontrol aisle, biatch! Sorry, will cease my ranting now.
But, yes, next time just nip out and find one of the multifunctionals. It happens a lot, so don't feel like you're doing anything wrong.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-11 03:01 pm (UTC)It's been a catch phrase around here ever since, to Tery's chagrin. Of course, she walked around singing obscure Tubes songs after seeing them recently in concert, so we're even.
Well, it was really sporadic at first and far between. Then he got the worst right at the climactic final battle! By the time I went all the way downstairs and all the way out to the desk, I would have missed everything. If I owned a theater, every seat would be equipped with a call button like an airplane. Of course, my idea also includes personal isolation booths so it's easier to ignore everyone else, not just the kiddies.
Rant away! I am unapologetically anti-offspring. Esp with parents who are too inconsiderate (or exhausted) to do anything about their children's abominable behavior in public. Letting kids in under three for free is just asking for trouble, IMO.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 02:33 pm (UTC)I like the buttons idea. Especially as the last I managed to get two movies in a row with the wrong aspect ratio in the last month. With Indiana Jones it took them about fifteen minutes to sort it out, and all you have to do is switch off the projector, turn the lens, and switch it on again!
I'm not anti offspring. It's just that my sister raised her three with such discipline they're all perfectly behaved, and I fail to see what she's done that other people can't do. I'm also pissed off because people think I'm bizarre for 'throwing my life away' by getting married at 21, when it's perfectly normal for a 16 year old to have two children.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 02:57 pm (UTC)That happened to me once too -- at Cloverfield they had the projector aimed too low and we were only seeing the top half of the movie. Obviously that's more important to get fixed than an irritable child.
You've hit the nail on the head there. I don't know that my parents did anything special either, and I think we were raised better than most of today's children. And we were even "latchkey kids."
I don't know what's changed and why things are worse, esp in a culture that pays such lip service to the importance of family.