Rick-Renaissance; X-Men Origins; Lazy, lazy postal workers

[grrgoyl]

I'm experiencing a bit of a Rickman Renaissance, a Ricknaissance if you will. I realized that a lot of old titles that I watched casually back before my love was in full bloom are now available quite affordably on most sites. Specifically, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

I know, I know, I couldn't stand that movie. However. That was before I realized that the two-disc extended edition contained an extra 15 minutes, most of which evidently focus on Rickman's Sheriff of Nottingham. "Interesting if you like that Richman guy, but doesn't add much to the movie" reviewers say on Amazon. Reviewers who no doubt resent any focus being dragged away from Kevin "no British accent for me" Costner. Add to that screencaps of Alan smiling and messing around from the bonus features on rickmanistareview.com (my new favorite site) and ownership of this is a no-brainer.

There's also a special edition of my second (or third) favorite Rickman flick (Rickflick? I'll stop), Galaxy Quest, on the horizon. It's all coming together nicely.

~*~

Of course I planned to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, just not under such unpleasant circumstances.

Saturday night Ryan, after more than a week of blowing off our workout routine, swore to me up and down that Monday was the day. He was going to start up again, yesiree. A bike ride, the gym, he didn't care, he was there.

Then Monday came and it was a very different story. After giving Ryan ample opportunity to call me, I finally texted him, only to be told he had "overbooked" his day and was now too busy for me. When was he planning to let me know? Hard on the heels of this rather rude slight came his invitation to see the movie with "us." As Tery put it, the afterthought invite: my very favorite kind.

The problem is the "us." Ryan has a shiny new roommate, Lucy, a friend of John's. This was my first time meeting Lucy. My impression of her is she looks the way John would look if he were shorter, female and more butch -- if she isn't a lesbian, she'd certainly be on the short list to play one on TV. But Ryan insisted she wasn't much of a drinker, and she agreed that John was "disappointing," so I guess she was alright.

I was irked by Ryan putting me off, but was doing my best to keep a happy face on. Ryan sensed the turmoil beneath and repeatedly asked if everything was alright. Either he's super-intuitive or I wasn't hiding it as well as I thought I was.

I mentioned our neighbors going to Mexico in the middle of the flu scare (they've returned home with only a garden variety viral illness, fortunately). Lucy eagerly chimed in, "We had the swine flu last night!" Apparently some bar somewhere in Denver (I'm sure we aren't alone) is tasteless enough to have named an alcoholic beverage after a pandemic that has the country in an iron grip of terror. Whatever. I was reminded of Ryan's insistence that she wasn't a very big drinker.

We took our seats, the movie started, and Ryan and I had more or less returned to normal.

After the movie I tried one last time to get Ryan to join me at the gym, but he put me off until Tuesday. He did ask for some free passes for Lucy. Apparently our duo is about to become a trio. Meh.

Tuesday. Ryan texted me midday to beg off the gym, claiming severe depression. I'm being patient with him, but I did helpfully suggest that maybe exercise would help him snap out of it. No response.

So I opted for a bike ride. I've been having trouble with the bike ever since trying to attach a rear rack and mistakenly removing the back tire. I had no idea the back tire was a bit more complicated to reattach than the front. Consequently I've been having trouble with it refusing to stay attached. It's especially fond of coming off when I'm trying to pedal across a huge intersection one block from our house, when roughly 50 motorists are staring at me as I cross.

It had come off a couple of times on my ride, until the last time no matter how securely I thought I had it on, I couldn't pedal more than once before it popped off again. Admitting defeat, I resigned myself to walking home. It was about a mile and a half; it felt like ten. And I was afraid I wouldn't get a very good workout away from the gym.

I called Ryan hoping for some sympathy. I didn't expect his phone to be answered by a very drunk-sounding girl, presumably Lucy (you remember Lucy, the not very big drinker). Ryan came on and immediately said that he couldn't help me, he was downtown. Not too depressed to go out drinking, evidently.

I was too worried about my immediate plight to think much at the time, but I woke up the next morning pissed as hell. It was good to know that had I been in trouble, Ryan would have preferred to stay at the bar rather than help me. And he can get his own damn free passes for Lucy. I've since learned she's unemployed and living rent-free off Ryan's goodwill (he's got a real talent for attracting losers who for some reason mistake him for Mr. Moneybags Sugar Daddy), so I don't really see how 7 free days of gym usage is going to do her any good.

(Hopefully the bike problem is solved. I brought the bike back to the shop where they tightened the tire on really well. I don't know if I'll ever fully relax on it though.)

Wednesday. Ryan called in sick to work because he "wasn't feeling well." Which in Ryan-speak means hangover. Good thing Lucy isn't a very big drinker.

Anyway, the movie:

It has a lot going for it. Danny Huston (creepy head vamp from 30 Days of Night) makes a good younger Stryker. Liev Schreiber makes a decent Sabretooth, I suppose, if a tad tiresome how he keeps turning up to challenge Logan with nothing really happening conveniently until the big Hollywood climax. And of course Huge Hugh Jackman. Hooie. I don't even want to think of the hours he must have put in at the gym, and it shows. Kind of hard to understand how Liev could survive even one fight, never mind several.

And of course the biggest plus of all, not a single motherlovin' frame of Halle "my part should be bigger" Berry.

There were lots of things I liked. Young James? Logan? (not specified when he changed, and I'm not especially interested so keep your comic know-how to yourself) with his tiny baby bone claws was cool (for some reason I always thought his claws were just a perk of his Adamantium infusion).

I liked the introduction of new mutants, but not vast armies of new ones like in the last movie (when we met The Blob I leaned over and whispered to Ryan, "You look more like him than Hugh Jackman." Yep, Motivation is my middle name).

Around the point we meet Gambit I started getting confused, mainly because the jackass directly in front of me chose that moment to whip out his cell phone. Okay, fine, he needed to check the time. I don't wear a watch anymore either. But then, to my utter disbelief, he started scrolling through menus and shit. Was he going to text someone??

So I murmured to him, "Can you turn your phone off, please?" He did, but not before a very childish toss of his head in a distinct "Oh MAAAAAAN" gesture. Yeah, oh MAAAAAAN. Sorry you can't behave like you're on your couch. I think at this point in the evolution of technology, cell phones are pretty universally recognized as a nuisance in movie theaters, no matter how discreet you think you're being. If what you need to do is so godawful urgent, go out in the fucking lobby. MAAAAAAAAN.

So I thought I'd make conversation with Lucy in the bathroom. I prefaced it with the stipulation that I had never read a word of the comic books. So, what are Gambit's powers exactly? She answered he was just like the big orange stone guy in The Fantastic Four except not stone and walked out, satisfied that that explained everything. Ummm, remember the part where I said I haven't read any comics? So that I WOULD like answered. Anyone? What are Gambit's powers besides tossing around playing cards and causing shockwaves with his staff?

Oh, and I liked how Liev ran like a cat. That was pretty awesome actually.

I thought I would enjoy Wolverine going off repeatedly into adrenaline-fueled berserker rages a la the moment he leaps into action to defend the school in X2. Lord knows he had enough reason to -- every time he turned around he was being betrayed by someone (and that's the closest to a spoiler I think I'll come). But I just wasn't feeling it. Rage, grief, betrayal -- no amount of roaring into a crane shot elicited much emotion from me, and I cry at insurance commercials. Sorry, Huge.

Also the film tried admirably to tie the end of this installment back to the beginning of the first one, but does that mean this Sabretooth is the same guy with flowing blond tresses from the first one? Because putting aside them pulling a Darren Stevens on us with the actors, I don't remember the slightest hint that he was Wolverine's brother. Again, my comic homies, can I have a whut whut?

After seeing it twice, if I never see another (bad) digital attempt to remove 20 years from Patrick Stewart's face it will be too soon.

Finally, Logan can't be the sharpest claw in the knuckle if he wakes up with his memory erased, sees someone who apparently knows him and is friendly (Gambit), and says, "Thanks, man, I'll be fine" and decides to go it alone. Well then you deserve to roam Canada alone and confused, ya big galoot.

Overall a respectable addition to the franchise. Certainly better than Last Stand. Will most certainly be purchasing.

~*~

Last but not least, this is what my lazy postal carrier has come to in delivering my packages:

Hai. I live next to a drug addict. Please to not be leaving valuable things on my doorstep

Can anyone explain the point of draping the welcome mat halfway over it? The welcome mat that's full of big holes?

Comments

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

Gambit in the comics (and cartoon, which is what I'm more familiar with) used to manipulate/generate energy and channel it into his staff and the playing cards, which he used like flaming ninja throwing stars. He was also a helluva charming mofo. I don't know anything about him being like the Thing at all...

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Okay, thanks. I knew if anyone could help it would be you. Yeah, it was a pretty mystifying answer. Serves me right for trying to be nice.

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

Unless Gambit had gone through some kind of weird phase in the later X-Men comics, saying right off that he was like the Thing is pretty durn weird.

Liev Schreiber was on Letterman the other night, and it was funny how he admitted to not always being on par with Hugh Jackman in terms of action-scene stamina. He said how after filming such-and-such scenes over a week or whatever, they'd ask Hugh if he was okay and still good to go. And Liev would look at him pleadingly, thinking, "PLEASE say you want to stop and go home." Though if they'd called him to do the role 15 years ago, he'd be all over it.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Ha, I actually saw that. I liked how he insisted that the cat running didn't involve any special effects whatsoever.

And everyone knows Hugh is a machine. Twas foolish and naive of Liev to think he'd want to stop.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

I can't remember him every going through a Thing-like metamorphasis. She was probably confused or making shit up.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

I'm opting for making shit up. She seems far too cocky by half. And I don't just think that because she stole Ryan away from me.

[metatronis.livejournal.com]

She may have meant that a lot what Gambit does isn't as explicitly supernatural as some of the other characters (like the agility and charisma, which are a huge part of his character). The Thing, albeit enhanced by the skin, mainly just beats the shit out of stuff. Gambit's mutant powers are considered a bit lame by some people, even though the character is pretty badass.

And yes, I'm pretty sure that is meant to be the same Sabertooth in both movies. I don't think they were brothers in the comics, but they had been part of the same government project before they went their separate ways.

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. So she's either making shit up or being deliberately obtuse in her answers. Either way, I simply don't foresee ever being her BFF.

Not brothers in the comics? That seems like a pretty major change. I'm sure I would have heard the fandom exploding off in the distance if that were the case. ; )

[metatronis.livejournal.com]

Nope, they weren't related in the comics. But it certainly isn't the first time the movies have adjusted the comics' canon. Maybe people are just glad that it wasn't as bad as Last Stand.