Parade of Homes 2010: Second installment of the first installment

[grrgoyl]

Okay, moving right along...



Next was the Maroon, which thankfully wasn't an indicator of color theme. In fact, by the Maroon it seemed they had abandoned the monocolor trend altogether.

By this time I had to pee like crazy, and was thankful the bathroom was operational

Stone Soup for dinner

This white trash family appeared (the young girl was about 7 months pregnant). I sneered at them turning up their noses at the lack of closet space, then realized Deb, Tery and I did the exact same thing

Great view of my neighbor's yard

Hideous silver bedstand that looked like a Design on a Dime DIY

Onto the Telluride. The Telluride was my favorite.

Not because it came with a sales office (kidding. Supposed to be the garage)...

Or handsomely framed cut-outs from magazines (srsly)...

But for this. Real Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. Real delicious Otis Spunkmeyer cookies (oatmeal raisin, my favorite)

In a land of plastic food props:

It's rare and exciting to find food you can actually eat. Even if you have no intention of making an offer on the house.

Which isn't to say all of the Telluride was perfect.

Well, this end table was cute

And this closet seemed to go on forever

But what lazy bastard stager did this?

And these fruity towel decorations? DO NOT WANT

However, the most poorly thought out part of the Telluride was the main staircase:

Deb's grand entrance to the party fell a little short

Ah, well. What do you want for $490,000?

Not that the Lancaster was much better.

More fruity towels

That had spread to the coat hangers. Proof that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should

We caught up with Tery eyeing this lamp like it was her nemesis

Deb had to figure out how it worked

I did love this lamp

Tery liked this hall mirror because it was perfectly positioned to check out her killer calves >;)

Ahh, the Madison:

That's some big ass fake fruit, yo

They had this two-sided desk with prop laptops positioned. Tery and I pretended we were emailing each other (while having an argument, evidently)

We thought mosquito netting was a bit eccentric for Denver

Poor Katie always had it toughest during tse-tse fly season

The Aspen:

My lovely lady

Bowl of sharp spiky things. Help yourself!

Buy one title, get the same title free

Tery demonstrates the use of the cocaine vanity top

I wanted Tery to go Tawny Kitaen on this rug. What I got was Gilda Radner

I have to do everything myself

iPod headboard. Because just listening to earbuds is SO 2005

Tery tries to redeem herself for the rug fail

Deb does a slightly better job

Poor Jake's pirate only has one timber

Simply precious nursery. I walked in and Tery announced in an anguished voice, "I want a baby!" My blood ran cold

They like this clock so much they have it on two walls -- unfortunately the kitchen and the connected living room

Tery gets a second chance at Tawny

Okay, that's quite enough for one day. I have one "dream house," but we'll probably see a few more of those this weekend. I'll group those together because right now I've got some Snarry that's not going to read itself.

Comments

[metatronis.livejournal.com]

I want to paint the giant fruit! Also, I would love to get a job making weird and unnecessary props.
I really like all the fake food. "And if you buy this luxurious home, you too can...eat."

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

The weird props make it interesting! Who wants to walk through a house where everything is perfect and normal? I think you would be a natural :)

The "pizza" is the most unsettling. I couldn't even tell what the blobs were supposed to be.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

Every time I watch an episode of "House Hunters" that features luxury homes I end up going WTF? It seems like so much square footage is eaten up with weird landings and cubbies that no one ever uses. It leads me to believe most people with money are weird and not in a good way. Fruity towels are just more proof.

If we ever get rich and build our dream house both Eric and I want hidden passages! Why can't more houses feature hidden stairways that lead you from the grandfather clock in the upstairs hall to the library?

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there seems to be a lot of wasted space in these homes. Deb says she heard the trend is towards smaller homes, but of course "smaller" is relative: a mere 2000 square feet, which is still a mansion compared to our 940.

Hidden passages would be AWESOME. We've only seen one "dream house" so far on this tour (there are seven total I think). I'm holding out hope for one of the others to have some.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

It always kills me when people want a huge, two-story entry way. I can think of lots of things I'd rather do with 200sq ft than take off my shoes.

I know what you mean about the definition of small house. Most of the houses around here are 1000 or under. We have a roomy house at 1500. Then I see magazines talking about making the most of your space and the houses to which they refer are 2400. We had 3 adults, 2 dogs and 5 cats in just over 1000 sq ft when my sister lived with us in Hazel Park. How about storage solutions for that?

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

What always gets me about these shows is the price scale. There are houses in Hazel Park going for less than $60,000. It would physically kill me to spend $500K on a house that's barely discernible from houses in my parent's neighborhood which were worth less than $300K BEFORE 2007.

[kavieshana.livejournal.com]

Here's your fatal error: I definitely oohed and ahhed over the pictures, but after I scrolled down to a particular one I was unable to think any coherent thought besides, "you can buy a special warmer for Otis Spunkmeyer cookies ? You can MAKE Otis Spunkmeyer cookies AT HOME?!" It's a Parade of Homes miracle.

I'm recovered. I like the idea of framing magazine cut-outs. I've got a few cut-outs of cigarette ads that I'd like to frame. Is that frame hung on the back of a wicker chair?

You two need a print rug of your very own.

More From Robin O

[(Anonymous)]

Looks like whipped cream and gingersnaps on the pizza. Which still makes more sense than tiny gourds, cinnamon sticks, and clumps of straw clinging to the hand towels and clothing hangers, so don't be tellin' ME I'm wrong about THAT.

I never thought about how homes with grandiose entryways are really just wasting all that space. Of course, never having lived anywhere with one probably has something to do with that.

I did actually LOL at, "We thought mosquito netting was a bit eccentric for Denver." Things could go poorly for poor Katie should she have to get up and pee in the middle of the night . . .

Re: More From Robin O

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I felt it was barely recognizable as a pizza. And also didn't understand why it was sitting on an end table upstairs.

Shameful waste of space. Unless you're a hoarder, of course. We've decided that the majority of new homes these days are built with large amounts of entertaining in mind, something else I don't know much about (all our friends live ALL THE WAY on the other side of town (20-30 minutes) and refuse to cross the chasm to visit).

Yeah, we don't have a big mosquito problem here unless you live in the wetlands (usually found in the middle of public parks). Katie might be a bit of an alarmist.