Ashlee who?

I read a brief mention of this in avez_kuleshov's journal, but tonight got to see the event firsthand myself.

I'm speaking of course of Ashlee Simpson scandalously being revealed to be lip-synching on SNL (although honestly, in a post-Milli Vanilli world, is this really so shocking to any of us?)   

I know nothing about Ashlee Simpson, apart from her being closely related to Jessica, someone else who got famous despite completely lacking any real talent to speak of.    I had already determined from her first song that she wasn't that great a singer, and "danced" even worse (if one can even call walking forward, then backward, then forward, then backward, ad nauseum, dancing).    I was waiting for the gaffe, and Tery thought it might have been one word it seemed she kind of fudged while hiding her mouth behind the microphone, but I was certain it had to be a lot bigger than that.   

We didn't have long to wait once her second song started.  Tery was hiding her head under the blanket, because she apparently just shares too much empathy for people screwing up, even unfairly famous people making entirely too much money off just their looks alone (although I hate to be petty, but on this basis I can't imagine Ashlee will be retiring any time soon, tonight's faux pas notwithstanding), but I watched with tremendous glee.  It started normally enough, then the voice faded out, leaving the instruments going strong and Ashlee hopping about like one of Fagin's boys in Oliver!, hoping her sheer adorableness would distract the audience from the fact that her lips were really never moving (Tery just now ad libbed, "Consider yourself....washed up.    Consider yourself.....just a babysitter").....that is, before fleeing the stage like a 7-year-old.  Then SNL quite clearly was forced to do some scrambling and raid the archives for something to fill in the time gaps this left, resulting in the ancient-looking "Bear World" skits.   

Her enormously embarrassing and obvious mistake was made even funnier when she later tried to blame it on the band playing the wrong song.    I have more problems with this statement than with any of George Bush's debate points.    A.)  As Kristen pointed out, they had to have at least one rehearsal in the previous week,  B.)  How can the entire band be on the same page but not bring Ashlee along?    UNLESS THEY WEREN'T REALLY PLAYING EITHER. Or they all have a freaky Borgian psychic link that she's not part of.     C.)  Who WAS singing then, at the beginning?  D.)    Even if it were the wrong song, how hard would it have been for Ashlee to adjust and sing that one instead?  Unless her feeble brain can only retain one set of lyrics at a time.  It's live TV, babe, you gotta be quick and think on your feet. Which I grant you might be trickier for someone not used to thinking at all.    Whatever the cause, my guess is she's hard at work as we speak trying to put together a new band, cuz I for one would not much appreciate taking the fall for her Blonde Moment on national television.    With Jude Law watching, no less.   

I only hope I live long enough to see the day when both Simpsons learn that your looks can only take you so far and at some point, most people realize you are just pathetic.