Queer Eye for the Gay Guy

[grrgoyl]

CARSON QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

On Gay Guy's belt loop-less pants: He's doing the advanced maneuver, the belt without belt loops; because he's gay I thought I'd give him an extra challenge.

Boy, the guys had their work cut out for them. This week's straight guy was gay, and more hopeless than any other straight guy, I must say. Wayne had the personality of a turnip, was fugly as hell with back hair and male pattern baldness, more tightly wound than a Republican, exhibiting serious anger issues the minute he was left alone. He has eaten nothing else his whole life but hot dogs, hamburgers and mac & cheese, with a virtual phobia of vegetables. (Even I have more variety than that, and I am extremely picky.) He was also, amazingly, single, and I suspected he was in love with one or all of the Fab 5 as evidenced by his complete inability to look any of them directly in the eye. They tried valiantly, but their magic can only do so much. He told them he secretly wanted to be an entertainer so they planned an open mike night for his "coming out" party; then he spent the entire time stressing over it. I felt for him, I really did. I would be terrified being forced to perform in front of a bunch of strangers, but towards that end I wouldn't tell the Fab 5 it was my secret wish.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Ted (after Wayne has a minor meltdown because he can't find the case for his new glasses): We should have got him a bong.

Okay, when TED thinks you're uptight, it's time for therapy.

Also, what was up with Jai's "Queer Eye Hip Tip" of having a second pack of shuffled cards on hand for poker night? Because gays are known primarily for their fabulous poker parties, apparently. And why would you need a second pack of cards? Why not just shuffle the original pack? I think Jai is really stretching to maintain his usefulness on this show.

-=Lainey=-

Comments

[mooselet.livejournal.com]

You use a second pack of shuffled cards so the game doesn't have to wait for the cards to be shuffled between hands. You can deal from the fresh deck, and then at some point during the game someone can shuffle the other deck. It speeds things up quite a bit.

[phreakychic.livejournal.com]

Jai's never been useful.

My favorite Carson quote was when he had the little sponge rack thing stuck on his chest and he goes, "You know what that is? That's just HANDY." I died laughing when I heard that.

I thought the gay guy was as uncharismatic as they come and really sort of rude in some ways. And what's up with him getting SPOILED!? He fucking got freebee presents up the wazoo. A bike, 2 pairs of glasses, an expensive watch, tickets to Wonderful Town and Avenue Q!? Was it because he was gay or did they just feel sorry for the miserable thing?

[grrgoyl.livejournal.com]

I'm going for the sympathy thing. Yeah, he was exceptionally blah. I'm sure it sounded good on paper, doing a gay guy, and they couldn't ask for a more lost cause. It doesn't seem fair though. I would love some of that schwag! When will they do Queer Eye for the Lesbian?