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Succumbing to the AbLounge pressure
Dec. 21st, 2004 11:13 amI did it. I finally gave in and bought the Ab Lounge, or more accurately the new, probably more crappily-made incarnation, the Ab Lounge Sport. I'm not sure what the difference is, but historically I've learned that the manufacturers of exercise equipment always add the word "Sport" to distract you from the fact that it is a more cheaply made bastard cousin of the original. I bought it for myself because Tery admitted she wasn't getting it for me (I never really thought she was). But it's okay, I assuaged my guilt feelings by also buying the family a new vacuum cleaner which we desperately need. I was going to wrap it and put it under the tree but instantly realized the size might lead to wild expectations that would almost certainly result in disappointment on Christmas morn.
It took me about an hour and a half to assemble the thing, only because when there's a 50/50 chance, I will 90% of the time tend towards doing it the wrong way, so every single screw except perhaps two of them had to be inserted twice. The finished product was a bulky but comfy lounge chair that will be great for mid-afternoon naps upstairs. You can hardly notice the resistance bands underneath. But seriously, I did a few reps and it seems like a very effective workout, putting you in the perfect crunch position without killing your back. I even tried some oblique work (which believe me, took some doing...having never, ever asked anything from that set of muscles in my life, they just lay there at first, completely indignant that they suddenly were expected to do something. But they woke up eventually, rubbed the sleep out of their eyes, and yeah, I was feelin' the burn). So, as the picture on the box promises, it's only a matter of time before I look exactly like this:
Let me take this opportunity to add that Walmart is no place for a sane person to be on the Monday before Christmas. Doesn't anybody freaking work on weekdays anymore? I tried shopping for people other than myself until I could no longer bear the press of humanity. I can't tell you how many times I, a fellow customer, was required to move out of the way of some oaf with a shopping cart who couldn't be bothered to go around me. The line to get out of the parking lot was longer than the one in the checkouts. So maybe it is better to do all your shopping online and just sit around and stress for three weeks about it arriving in time. However, I did get to hear the following announcement while in Walmart: "Attention, you lucky Walmart shoppers! Just arrived, a shipment of FRESH X-Boxes. Come to Electronics to pick up your fresh new X-Box right now!" Ummm, do X-Boxes have an expiration date?
Speaking of which, as of this writing, STILL have not received a single, dad-blammed, cotton-pickin' thing that I've ordered, from Amazon or anyone. If nothing comes today, I really don't know how much longer I can hold off the meltdown I can feel building up just below my throat. WHERE IS ALL MY STUFF?????????
It took me about an hour and a half to assemble the thing, only because when there's a 50/50 chance, I will 90% of the time tend towards doing it the wrong way, so every single screw except perhaps two of them had to be inserted twice. The finished product was a bulky but comfy lounge chair that will be great for mid-afternoon naps upstairs. You can hardly notice the resistance bands underneath. But seriously, I did a few reps and it seems like a very effective workout, putting you in the perfect crunch position without killing your back. I even tried some oblique work (which believe me, took some doing...having never, ever asked anything from that set of muscles in my life, they just lay there at first, completely indignant that they suddenly were expected to do something. But they woke up eventually, rubbed the sleep out of their eyes, and yeah, I was feelin' the burn). So, as the picture on the box promises, it's only a matter of time before I look exactly like this:
Let me take this opportunity to add that Walmart is no place for a sane person to be on the Monday before Christmas. Doesn't anybody freaking work on weekdays anymore? I tried shopping for people other than myself until I could no longer bear the press of humanity. I can't tell you how many times I, a fellow customer, was required to move out of the way of some oaf with a shopping cart who couldn't be bothered to go around me. The line to get out of the parking lot was longer than the one in the checkouts. So maybe it is better to do all your shopping online and just sit around and stress for three weeks about it arriving in time. However, I did get to hear the following announcement while in Walmart: "Attention, you lucky Walmart shoppers! Just arrived, a shipment of FRESH X-Boxes. Come to Electronics to pick up your fresh new X-Box right now!" Ummm, do X-Boxes have an expiration date?
Speaking of which, as of this writing, STILL have not received a single, dad-blammed, cotton-pickin' thing that I've ordered, from Amazon or anyone. If nothing comes today, I really don't know how much longer I can hold off the meltdown I can feel building up just below my throat. WHERE IS ALL MY STUFF?????????
