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Another exciting weekend at the kennels. I'm taking slightly more pride in my job, however, since the full-time overnight woman is having surgery and has to take the next 8 weeks off, propelling me to Senior Overnight Nurse. "Wow," my sister exclaimed, impressed. "At this rate you'll be a vet by the end of the year!" I asked for a pay raise commensurate with my meteoric rise through the ranks, but the boss refused (but since the boss cooks me dinner, I'm hardly in a position to complain). The bad news is that until Tery can hire a replacement, she's largely taking over the shift herself. It angers me that no one else is stepping up, but that's the subject of a very long (and very obscenity-filled) rant that no one wants to read.
Friday night wasn't going to be too difficult -- I had more cats than dogs, and only a pretty little dehydrated Italian greyhound named Jenny who required any sort of medical attention. Then Flipper woke up.
Flipper is another poodle, totally blind and I think more than a little deaf. If there's any breed I dislike more than beagles, it would have to be poodles. They're just fucked. I've never met one that wasn't blind, deaf, senile or a combination of the three. And don't get me started on what a stupid name for a dog "Flipper" is. He might as well have been born with fins for all that his genes have betrayed him.
Flipper, the Pinnacle of Poodle Genetic Evolution
Flipper, like most dogs, is an angel as long as he's sleeping. But from the moment he wakes up until the moment he passes out again, he stares at the back of his cage (which is just as good as the front when you're blind) and barks interminably. Yelling at him stops it only for about 5 minutes. One single bark about every 15 seconds for 5 hours straight.
Jenny: "Please, god, make it stop"
Thus I was inspired to turn the Isolation Ward into "The Hole," as I dubbed it. With Tery's permission of course, and only as long as no one found out about it. I don't know what the big deal is: The Iso Ward is the same as the other wards except it's empty and can be closed off easily (normally reserved for contagious animals). I stuck old Flipper back there with a space heater, quite a cosy setup. He continued barking, but it sounded more distant, like a next door neighbor's dog. And the barks were regular enough that he eventually became more like white noise in the background. Or so I convinced myself so I could get some sleep.
Tery, who dislikes dogs as much as I do, has a theory about dog people vs. cat people. She thinks there's no challenge in winning a dog's loyalty -- they give it away unconditionally to anyone who feeds them. I can attest to this; I spend the entire night screaming at a dog for barking, but come morning when the food gets dished out, all is forgiven and we're best buddies again. Tery says dog people are lazy people who don't want to have to work too hard for their pet's love.
Cats aren't as easily won over, thus making their affection more rewarding. I can also attest to this; when a cat doesn't like you, it's a lifelong condition. I give you the Planka cats as evidence:
Oregon and Pentium: Study in Two Parts of Feline Hatred
Two more unpleasant felines you're not likely to find. They're both fond of the hiss and spit, but Pentium voices her warnings loudly and plaintively, whereas Oregon sticks more to the gutteral growls. Both of them swipe at you given half the chance, and Oregon has the added bonus of requiring insulin shots twice a day. I've never done anything to these cats except clean their boxes and offer fresh food and water, yet the enmity continues.
By contrast I give you the Cat of Many Names: Frances Sofia DiSaronno Contessa, Belly Cat, Pink Lips, Madame Muttonchops, Kitten Mitten with Whom I'm Smitten, Frances Feathertail, Frances Fluffytoes. She answers to them all.
The Fabled Catbird Seat
~*~
Continuing my Rickman extravaganza, I finally gave Quigley Down Under a looksee. This would be a great movie, if I were a Tom Selleck fan. My dad would have loved it, with all the Western style action. Tery's pal Chris would probably love it, with all the men on horseback action. My best childhood friend Lisa would have REALLY loved it, being deeply in love with Magnum P.I. as only a schoolgirl could be. But for Rickman fans, there's really not a lot here, despite him being the main villain of the film.
( ::cut in case anyone else has yet to see this 17-year-old film:: )
A good flick overall, but Alan gets more screen time as the Metatron with far more interesting dialogue.
Friday night wasn't going to be too difficult -- I had more cats than dogs, and only a pretty little dehydrated Italian greyhound named Jenny who required any sort of medical attention. Then Flipper woke up.
Flipper is another poodle, totally blind and I think more than a little deaf. If there's any breed I dislike more than beagles, it would have to be poodles. They're just fucked. I've never met one that wasn't blind, deaf, senile or a combination of the three. And don't get me started on what a stupid name for a dog "Flipper" is. He might as well have been born with fins for all that his genes have betrayed him.
Flipper, the Pinnacle of Poodle Genetic Evolution
Flipper, like most dogs, is an angel as long as he's sleeping. But from the moment he wakes up until the moment he passes out again, he stares at the back of his cage (which is just as good as the front when you're blind) and barks interminably. Yelling at him stops it only for about 5 minutes. One single bark about every 15 seconds for 5 hours straight.
Jenny: "Please, god, make it stop"
Thus I was inspired to turn the Isolation Ward into "The Hole," as I dubbed it. With Tery's permission of course, and only as long as no one found out about it. I don't know what the big deal is: The Iso Ward is the same as the other wards except it's empty and can be closed off easily (normally reserved for contagious animals). I stuck old Flipper back there with a space heater, quite a cosy setup. He continued barking, but it sounded more distant, like a next door neighbor's dog. And the barks were regular enough that he eventually became more like white noise in the background. Or so I convinced myself so I could get some sleep.
Tery, who dislikes dogs as much as I do, has a theory about dog people vs. cat people. She thinks there's no challenge in winning a dog's loyalty -- they give it away unconditionally to anyone who feeds them. I can attest to this; I spend the entire night screaming at a dog for barking, but come morning when the food gets dished out, all is forgiven and we're best buddies again. Tery says dog people are lazy people who don't want to have to work too hard for their pet's love.
Cats aren't as easily won over, thus making their affection more rewarding. I can also attest to this; when a cat doesn't like you, it's a lifelong condition. I give you the Planka cats as evidence:
Oregon and Pentium: Study in Two Parts of Feline Hatred
Two more unpleasant felines you're not likely to find. They're both fond of the hiss and spit, but Pentium voices her warnings loudly and plaintively, whereas Oregon sticks more to the gutteral growls. Both of them swipe at you given half the chance, and Oregon has the added bonus of requiring insulin shots twice a day. I've never done anything to these cats except clean their boxes and offer fresh food and water, yet the enmity continues.
By contrast I give you the Cat of Many Names: Frances Sofia DiSaronno Contessa, Belly Cat, Pink Lips, Madame Muttonchops, Kitten Mitten with Whom I'm Smitten, Frances Feathertail, Frances Fluffytoes. She answers to them all.
The Fabled Catbird Seat
~*~
Continuing my Rickman extravaganza, I finally gave Quigley Down Under a looksee. This would be a great movie, if I were a Tom Selleck fan. My dad would have loved it, with all the Western style action. Tery's pal Chris would probably love it, with all the men on horseback action. My best childhood friend Lisa would have REALLY loved it, being deeply in love with Magnum P.I. as only a schoolgirl could be. But for Rickman fans, there's really not a lot here, despite him being the main villain of the film.
( ::cut in case anyone else has yet to see this 17-year-old film:: )
A good flick overall, but Alan gets more screen time as the Metatron with far more interesting dialogue.
