FMMP: Let the Right One In; Biking; Alice
Jun. 2nd, 2010 09:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrgoylNothing new, nothing new at all -- well, my bike helmet is new. Wish I had a thrilling tale of action-packed mishaps, but the fact is Rogue Leader fell over and landed on my old helmet. Bike helmet shopping is about the least fun thing for me thanks to my abnormally large cranium (need some place to keep that massive brain, you see). Trying to find one that doesn't look like a fish bowl on my head, at a reasonable price, is quite the challenge. Thankfully Giro is a company that doesn't think stylish and racy should be reserved for their top-line products.
So it's a movie review for y'all. A vampire movie, though no dreamy bedroom poster fodder here: I'm talking about the sleeper Swedish hit Let the Right One In.
Oskar is a 12-year-old little boy so pale other Swedes look at him and say, "Kid, you need to get out in the sun more often." Snow looks tan compared to him. Maybe this is the reason he's friendless and bullied. Maybe it's the way he twitches his nose like a squirrel when he's deep in thought (or acting). Maybe it's because his nose is always moist and runny. For whatever reason, he's picked on a lot.
Then Eli moves in next door, and she's even odder. For one thing, she doesn't go to school. For another, her father stuck cardboard over all their windows. For another, she walks around in the snow at night wearing nothing but a flimsy nightgown and no shoes.
Oskar forges a friendship with Eli by offering his Rubik's Cube, which she returns to him solved the following night, despite apparently never having seen one: One of the lesser known powers of the damned is an eerily uncanny grasp of spatial relationships and 80's fad toys.
All kidding aside, it's a wonder Eli is still alive (we learn later she actually harkens from the 1600's, despite appearing about 12) -- the father figure she lives with is her protector and blood supplier (he kills innocent victims and brings their blood home for her), but the two attempts we see of him doing this fail so miserably she has to make do on her own anyway; and he leaves enough evidence at the scenes to be convicted by anyone who's seen an episode of "Dexter."
So after his first failure, Eli hunts alone, taking down Jocke, the longtime drinking buddy of this other guy, Lacke. Lacke spends the rest of the film kvetching to anyone who will listen about what a great guy Jocke was. Well he must have been to put up with Lacke's incessant whining, not to mention he's got the biggest shoulder pads I've seen on a man's suit since "Miami Vice" was canceled.
What's unfortunate is the glaringly low budget that comes distractingly to the foreground when Eli kills Jocke. She snaps his neck (after drinking her fill), but it's obviously not the actor but a really cheap dummy. Then she drags him to a stream and throws him in, looking like she's dragging a really cheap dummy and throwing a really cheap dummy in the water. Oh, you Swedes. You're so adorable with your movie-making.
This is sort of forgiven when later the father figure douses himself in acid (which is clumsily what he was trying to use on his second almost-victim) to hide his identity, and we get a glorious close-up when Eli kills him of his face half eaten away. That looked pretty cool.
Then we lose it again when later Eli mistakenly turns a woman rather than kills her, and she's attacked by a pack of obviously CGI cats in her friend's apartment. Oh, Sweden. (All Norwegian forest cats like my babies, BTW.)
Anyway, Oskar takes a long, long time to realize his new friend is a vamp, even though she can't answer simple questions like when her birthday is or how old she is. Or when asked if she was cold sitting out in the snow with a onesy on, she says cryptically, "I forgot how to be."
Meanwhile she encourages him to hit back when the bullies bother him. He takes up weightlifting at school, and it's kind of pathetic watching him bench pressing with his pasty, noodly arms while his coach reads a paperback.
The two sessions pay off, however, when they go on a big field trip to a pond for ice skating (which, in Sweden in the middle of winter, seems sort of like taking Colorado school children into the backyard to study the Rockies, which they see every single day). The bullies want to toss Oskar into the stream (the same stream the really cheap dummy is in). To defend himself he picks up a long branch and hits the leader's ear -- despite it looking like it had the force of a Nerf bat, the kid goes to the hospital and later we learn he becomes half deaf from the injury. Don't underestimate the power of the pasty noodles, I guess.
Of course the discovery of the frozen dummy I mean corpse intervenes before the bully's posse can seriously mess Oskar up (if two kids can be called a "posse").
With the bullies dispatched momentarily, Oskar can focus on his friend's peculiar behavior. Like the fact she can fly to his window at night and can't cross the threshold without being formally invited in. Also the way she comes unglued when he cuts his hand to try to become her blood brother, literally licking his blood off the floor (note to Oskar: a pinprick will do when swearing a blood brother oath. You don't need a Bowie knife gash across your palm). All big hints that just make Oskar twitch his perpetually runny nose in confusion.
He finally works it out when he saves her from being staked by Lacke of the oversized shoulder pads. Too bad that at that point she announces she has to be moving on and leaves town.
In the final scene, Oskar is cornered by the bully, his big brother and the posse. If Oskar can hold his breath underwater for three minutes, he'll go free. If not, big brother will cut out his eye -- "An eye for an ear. Seems fair, right?" he asks. Well, it does unless you consider that the eye has the most nerve endings in the body. Go back to school a while longer, bully.
It's okay though; Eli comes to his rescue, leading to a heartwarming, feel-good ending with the bullies' bodies strewn about the pool edge and the two friends holding hands shyly.
The message of Let the Right One In seems to be it doesn't matter if you don't have a lot of friends, as long as at least one of them is a bloodsucking creature of the night. But it did have nice cinematography and the interesting backdrop of 80's Sweden. I would buy this before a single Twilight movie, which shouldn't surprise anyone.
~*~
I celebrated Memorial Day by taking a long, luxurious bike ride by myself. I went with Tery on Sunday, but her useless racing bike can't handle the off-road trails Rogue Leader is yearning for.
I thought I had found such a trail on Monday. I had taken the first off-road turn I came to, only to be thwarted by a sign warning that it was a wetlands preserve and bikes, horses, cars were off limits. Poop.
So I circled around to the other side where I found a trail of packed gravel. I didn't see any signs saying not to, so I took it. To my huge delight I discovered it led to a secluded babbling brook, surrounded by trees and meadows, all with a meandering path winding through them, perfect for my bike, and best of all hardly no one else around me.
This is all I want in life. Is that so much to ask?
When you're alone, all photos have to be taken arm-length Facebook style
My joy at finding this treasure of a bike route was cruelly stamped out, however, when I reached the other end, which turned out to be the entrance with the sign about no bikes, horses, yadda yadda. Which explained the look of disgust on a woman's face while she pointedly marched up to the sign to read it as I passed, despite the lettering being three inches high. Well, wouldn't you expect there to be a sign posted at all entrances to the trail? In my defense, I did pass one other couple also biking on it, so I wasn't the only one tricked. Stupid, stupid Cherry Creek Reservoir Park.
I'm afraid I'll have to go to the foothills to find a similar trail that does allow bikes. Except then it becomes this production, certainly not as convenient as peddling across the street, and I have no one to go with me with a bike that can handle it. Except maybe Ryan, but he can't bear to be away from John for more than a few hours.
~*~
Time for another review, not for a movie this time, but for movie extras. I'm speaking of course of the Blu-ray release of Alice in Wonderland, which I enjoyed so much more on disc than in the theater. I guess this also qualifies as "new" so disregard the opening statement of this post.
The Blu-ray looks gorgeous. The Hatter looks madder. The Bandersnatch looks more frumious. And Stayne looks more...Stayned. Despite having no commentary (for the best really; Burton gives awful commentaries. Keeps trailing off in mid-thought and spends huge portions of the film just watching in silence), the making-of featurettes were all very entertaining and gave me a much greater appreciation of all the work that went into the film. Although not a word about my Rickman -- a whole bit about the bakers who created the "Eat Me" cake that's seen for a total of three minutes on-screen, but not a word about Rickman. Bleah. At least Michael Sheen and Stephen Fry got the same shabby treatment.
Anyway, all sorts of interesting tidbits behind the cut about special effects, etc., for those who care.
-- Obviously Helena Bonham-Carter's head was digitally swollen to play "the bloody big head" Red Queen. What wasn't so obvious (though now it's all I can see) was that Johnny's eyes were also digitally enlarged just a bit. I can't see this was necessary. It's certainly distracting, now that I know about it.
-- I couldn't figure out Crispin Glover's body in the theater. That's because his head is real, stuck onto a totally CGI body. Not sure why this was necessary either -- just to make him taller and thinner? Surely they could have cut thousands out of the budget and kept his real physique, because the resulting effect is even more distracting than Johnny's eyes. Although Helena did make a funny comment: "I don't know how he's getting about. He's on stilts, with an eye patch on, and wearing a leotard, poor man."
-- Despite watching the Futterwacken dance numerous times (found the clip online), I never once realized that it's not even Johnny! They found some dancing guy on YouTube who actually lived 40 minutes from the lot. He was going to teach Johnny the moves, then they realized they could just stick him in the Hatter wig and no one would be the wiser. And they were right (and Johnny was apparently immensely relieved not to have to dance).
-- Speaking of Futterwacken, it wasn't until seeing the guy dancing in costume that I noticed the Hatter is wearing a kilt during the final battle. RAWR.
-- Plotwise, I noticed a rather confusing message. Alice escapes into Underland because she hates her real life, where everyone tells her what to do. Throughout her whole journey in Underland she rebels against everyone telling her she has to slay the Jabberwock; but then she does it anyway. Then when she returns to the real world, she again turns obstinate and refuses to marry Hamish. I'm not sure what exactly is being said about her development. Probably that I'm reading far too much into it.
-- Speaking of Hamish, funny that she doesn't feel a single speck of attraction for him, despite him having the same flaming orange hair as the Hatter, who she can't stop undressing with her eyes. RAWR.
So it's a movie review for y'all. A vampire movie, though no dreamy bedroom poster fodder here: I'm talking about the sleeper Swedish hit Let the Right One In.
Oskar is a 12-year-old little boy so pale other Swedes look at him and say, "Kid, you need to get out in the sun more often." Snow looks tan compared to him. Maybe this is the reason he's friendless and bullied. Maybe it's the way he twitches his nose like a squirrel when he's deep in thought (or acting). Maybe it's because his nose is always moist and runny. For whatever reason, he's picked on a lot.
Then Eli moves in next door, and she's even odder. For one thing, she doesn't go to school. For another, her father stuck cardboard over all their windows. For another, she walks around in the snow at night wearing nothing but a flimsy nightgown and no shoes.
Oskar forges a friendship with Eli by offering his Rubik's Cube, which she returns to him solved the following night, despite apparently never having seen one: One of the lesser known powers of the damned is an eerily uncanny grasp of spatial relationships and 80's fad toys.
All kidding aside, it's a wonder Eli is still alive (we learn later she actually harkens from the 1600's, despite appearing about 12) -- the father figure she lives with is her protector and blood supplier (he kills innocent victims and brings their blood home for her), but the two attempts we see of him doing this fail so miserably she has to make do on her own anyway; and he leaves enough evidence at the scenes to be convicted by anyone who's seen an episode of "Dexter."
So after his first failure, Eli hunts alone, taking down Jocke, the longtime drinking buddy of this other guy, Lacke. Lacke spends the rest of the film kvetching to anyone who will listen about what a great guy Jocke was. Well he must have been to put up with Lacke's incessant whining, not to mention he's got the biggest shoulder pads I've seen on a man's suit since "Miami Vice" was canceled.
What's unfortunate is the glaringly low budget that comes distractingly to the foreground when Eli kills Jocke. She snaps his neck (after drinking her fill), but it's obviously not the actor but a really cheap dummy. Then she drags him to a stream and throws him in, looking like she's dragging a really cheap dummy and throwing a really cheap dummy in the water. Oh, you Swedes. You're so adorable with your movie-making.
This is sort of forgiven when later the father figure douses himself in acid (which is clumsily what he was trying to use on his second almost-victim) to hide his identity, and we get a glorious close-up when Eli kills him of his face half eaten away. That looked pretty cool.
Then we lose it again when later Eli mistakenly turns a woman rather than kills her, and she's attacked by a pack of obviously CGI cats in her friend's apartment. Oh, Sweden. (All Norwegian forest cats like my babies, BTW.)
Anyway, Oskar takes a long, long time to realize his new friend is a vamp, even though she can't answer simple questions like when her birthday is or how old she is. Or when asked if she was cold sitting out in the snow with a onesy on, she says cryptically, "I forgot how to be."
Meanwhile she encourages him to hit back when the bullies bother him. He takes up weightlifting at school, and it's kind of pathetic watching him bench pressing with his pasty, noodly arms while his coach reads a paperback.
The two sessions pay off, however, when they go on a big field trip to a pond for ice skating (which, in Sweden in the middle of winter, seems sort of like taking Colorado school children into the backyard to study the Rockies, which they see every single day). The bullies want to toss Oskar into the stream (the same stream the really cheap dummy is in). To defend himself he picks up a long branch and hits the leader's ear -- despite it looking like it had the force of a Nerf bat, the kid goes to the hospital and later we learn he becomes half deaf from the injury. Don't underestimate the power of the pasty noodles, I guess.
Of course the discovery of the frozen dummy I mean corpse intervenes before the bully's posse can seriously mess Oskar up (if two kids can be called a "posse").
With the bullies dispatched momentarily, Oskar can focus on his friend's peculiar behavior. Like the fact she can fly to his window at night and can't cross the threshold without being formally invited in. Also the way she comes unglued when he cuts his hand to try to become her blood brother, literally licking his blood off the floor (note to Oskar: a pinprick will do when swearing a blood brother oath. You don't need a Bowie knife gash across your palm). All big hints that just make Oskar twitch his perpetually runny nose in confusion.
He finally works it out when he saves her from being staked by Lacke of the oversized shoulder pads. Too bad that at that point she announces she has to be moving on and leaves town.
In the final scene, Oskar is cornered by the bully, his big brother and the posse. If Oskar can hold his breath underwater for three minutes, he'll go free. If not, big brother will cut out his eye -- "An eye for an ear. Seems fair, right?" he asks. Well, it does unless you consider that the eye has the most nerve endings in the body. Go back to school a while longer, bully.
It's okay though; Eli comes to his rescue, leading to a heartwarming, feel-good ending with the bullies' bodies strewn about the pool edge and the two friends holding hands shyly.
The message of Let the Right One In seems to be it doesn't matter if you don't have a lot of friends, as long as at least one of them is a bloodsucking creature of the night. But it did have nice cinematography and the interesting backdrop of 80's Sweden. I would buy this before a single Twilight movie, which shouldn't surprise anyone.
~*~
I celebrated Memorial Day by taking a long, luxurious bike ride by myself. I went with Tery on Sunday, but her useless racing bike can't handle the off-road trails Rogue Leader is yearning for.
I thought I had found such a trail on Monday. I had taken the first off-road turn I came to, only to be thwarted by a sign warning that it was a wetlands preserve and bikes, horses, cars were off limits. Poop.
So I circled around to the other side where I found a trail of packed gravel. I didn't see any signs saying not to, so I took it. To my huge delight I discovered it led to a secluded babbling brook, surrounded by trees and meadows, all with a meandering path winding through them, perfect for my bike, and best of all hardly no one else around me.
This is all I want in life. Is that so much to ask?
When you're alone, all photos have to be taken arm-length Facebook style
My joy at finding this treasure of a bike route was cruelly stamped out, however, when I reached the other end, which turned out to be the entrance with the sign about no bikes, horses, yadda yadda. Which explained the look of disgust on a woman's face while she pointedly marched up to the sign to read it as I passed, despite the lettering being three inches high. Well, wouldn't you expect there to be a sign posted at all entrances to the trail? In my defense, I did pass one other couple also biking on it, so I wasn't the only one tricked. Stupid, stupid Cherry Creek Reservoir Park.
I'm afraid I'll have to go to the foothills to find a similar trail that does allow bikes. Except then it becomes this production, certainly not as convenient as peddling across the street, and I have no one to go with me with a bike that can handle it. Except maybe Ryan, but he can't bear to be away from John for more than a few hours.
~*~
Time for another review, not for a movie this time, but for movie extras. I'm speaking of course of the Blu-ray release of Alice in Wonderland, which I enjoyed so much more on disc than in the theater. I guess this also qualifies as "new" so disregard the opening statement of this post.
The Blu-ray looks gorgeous. The Hatter looks madder. The Bandersnatch looks more frumious. And Stayne looks more...Stayned. Despite having no commentary (for the best really; Burton gives awful commentaries. Keeps trailing off in mid-thought and spends huge portions of the film just watching in silence), the making-of featurettes were all very entertaining and gave me a much greater appreciation of all the work that went into the film. Although not a word about my Rickman -- a whole bit about the bakers who created the "Eat Me" cake that's seen for a total of three minutes on-screen, but not a word about Rickman. Bleah. At least Michael Sheen and Stephen Fry got the same shabby treatment.
Anyway, all sorts of interesting tidbits behind the cut about special effects, etc., for those who care.
-- Obviously Helena Bonham-Carter's head was digitally swollen to play "the bloody big head" Red Queen. What wasn't so obvious (though now it's all I can see) was that Johnny's eyes were also digitally enlarged just a bit. I can't see this was necessary. It's certainly distracting, now that I know about it.
-- I couldn't figure out Crispin Glover's body in the theater. That's because his head is real, stuck onto a totally CGI body. Not sure why this was necessary either -- just to make him taller and thinner? Surely they could have cut thousands out of the budget and kept his real physique, because the resulting effect is even more distracting than Johnny's eyes. Although Helena did make a funny comment: "I don't know how he's getting about. He's on stilts, with an eye patch on, and wearing a leotard, poor man."
-- Despite watching the Futterwacken dance numerous times (found the clip online), I never once realized that it's not even Johnny! They found some dancing guy on YouTube who actually lived 40 minutes from the lot. He was going to teach Johnny the moves, then they realized they could just stick him in the Hatter wig and no one would be the wiser. And they were right (and Johnny was apparently immensely relieved not to have to dance).
-- Speaking of Futterwacken, it wasn't until seeing the guy dancing in costume that I noticed the Hatter is wearing a kilt during the final battle. RAWR.
-- Plotwise, I noticed a rather confusing message. Alice escapes into Underland because she hates her real life, where everyone tells her what to do. Throughout her whole journey in Underland she rebels against everyone telling her she has to slay the Jabberwock; but then she does it anyway. Then when she returns to the real world, she again turns obstinate and refuses to marry Hamish. I'm not sure what exactly is being said about her development. Probably that I'm reading far too much into it.
-- Speaking of Hamish, funny that she doesn't feel a single speck of attraction for him, despite him having the same flaming orange hair as the Hatter, who she can't stop undressing with her eyes. RAWR.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 04:10 pm (UTC)NO BIKING ALLOWED, BUT IF YOU MADE IT ALL THE WAY HERE ON A BIKE, YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE. CARRY ON.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 04:30 pm (UTC)The whole trail was nothing but mixed signals. Smack in the middle of the loop it turns into a distinctive two-tire pattern, for I assume the park maintenance vehicles. I told myself my little bike couldn't possibly be more destructive than those. Besides, it wasn't like I was mowing down bald eagle nests. But yeah, were our positions reversed I would totally have the same look on my face as that woman did.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 05:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 10:20 am (UTC)And you finally prompted me to get Let The Right One In! I shall read your take on it and comment once I watch it. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 06:06 pm (UTC):D I hope you enjoy it! Knowing your feelings on the Twilight franchise, I'm sure you'll find it refreshing.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 06:13 pm (UTC)Biking is very popular with kids, of course, but I never properly learned how to ride without the training wheels, as right when I'd started to learn how to balance etc., we moved from a peaceful city with roads where I could bike to a place where it wasn't a feasible idea at all.
Someone recommended that movie to me as the anti-Twilight actually!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 06:48 pm (UTC)Good way to describe it. Gritty and dirty, and nothing remotely glamorous or sexy or sparkly about being undead. You'll love it!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 05:35 pm (UTC)However, the sparkling is still stupid.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-08 12:26 pm (UTC)I haven't read Dracula in forever, but wasn't there a reference to sunlight in the book? Or was it just that he was on a sleep schedule and really preferred not to go out during the day?
You have to admit, the sparkling vamps have improved our lives for the better. In twenty years we'll still be making jokes about them in the same casual way that any mention of magic now warrants a Harry Potter name-drop. When RPat dies the newspapers will speculate on whether or not He Will Rise Again, and people will say 'well he did look kind of sparkly in that coffin'.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 11:25 am (UTC)