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Alright, I'm officially through with documentary forays into the lives of Evangelical Christians. My breaking point was reached with our recent rental of Jesus Camp.
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ridiculicious warned me this was scarier than Friends of God. I wouldn't say scarier, just as scary from a different aspect. Jesus Camp focuses on just the overzealous offspring of Evangelicals attending this crazy religious boot camp (which has since been closed down in the wake of the Ted Haggard scandal).
The movie actually has some very funny moments, once you get past the whole terrifying youth brainwashing thing. The boy who is unofficially the focus of the whole film states he was "saved" at age 5. Saved from what??? What black, despicable sins can stain the soul of a 5-year-old? He said he turned to Jesus because he "wanted more" out of life. At age 5. If he sounds years ahead of his time, it's probably because he's only regurgitating what his parents drilled into him since he could understand spoken language.
Then there's Rachael, the 9-year-old who mutters a plea to Jesus to help her bowling game. "Great," Tery said. "A car bomb just went off in Baghdad because Jesus had to help her get a strike."
The Evangelicals harshly denounce Harry Potter (again, no clear cut reasons given for why), yet allow their children to be preached to by talking vegetables (the popular "Veggie Tales" series). In one scene the boys are playing with a flashlight in the dark, acting spooky and telling ghost stories; perfectly normal behavior at camp. Until one of the parents puts an end to their fun on the grounds that God only wants us to focus on the beautiful, pleasing things of this world. Then the next day the children are subjected to a good old-fashioned fire and brimstone lecture that's so vivid and so graphic that it starts them crying, writhing on the floor and speaking in tongues to show how full of the Spirit they are. These kids are going to need some SERIOUS therapy later in life.
We had to pause the DVD until we stopped laughing, however, when the female minister who runs the camp was shown blessing the pews, the roof, the walls, and the PowerPoint presentation. Yes, she said, "Now devil, you stay away from this PowerPoint presentation. We know how you like to mess with the tools of the Lord..." yadda yadda yadda. Speaking of the tools of the Lord, these people have no problem taking advantage of the ease and convenience of computer technology, while simultaneously spitting on and reviling all other manifestations of science. Hypocritical? Christians? No!
But the moment Tery and I really lost it was when little Rachael and her friends approached a group of older black men sitting in a park to try to convert them. She asked one, "If you were to die right now, do you think you'd go to heaven or hell?" He unhesitatingly answered heaven, and they awkwardly excused themselves pretty quickly. "I don't know, maybe they're already Christians or something," Rachael reasoned. Their 9-year-old minds were blown. However, this scene translated easily to South Park to me and Tery. Chef: "Hello, children!" with a song about going to heaven complete with sexually inappropriate lyrics. It is crucial to watch this movie with someone who has a great sense of humor, otherwise it's just chilling and disturbing.
Their rationale for "training" their children so intensely is because they believe all Muslim children are taught how to use hand grenades and automatic weapons from the time they can walk -- a rather ignorant and gross generalization. The female minister also muses that "you can't force children to do anything" (meaning their devout behavior is purely of their own making) -- well, yes and no. But they apparently see nothing wrong with continuing their political movement to force the rest of the country to bow to their agenda.
~*~
Speaking of annoying people with ridiculous beliefs, I wasted most of yesterday reading this thread over at IMDb about why 300 is so "ironically homophobic." I read it out of mild interest because the idea that the movie was homophobic never even crossed my mind. The gay man who started the thread had two sticking points: The fact that Hollywood had "de-gayed" the "most famously gay group of warriors in history," plus he felt the line about Athenians being "boy-lovers" was a gay slur. Go read it yourself if you have an hour or two to kill watching self-styled historians gradually devolve into increasingly puerile name-calling as they debate the true nature of pederasty and what really went on in the ranks of Greek soldiers thousands of years ago. Watch as the argument goes back and forth endlessly and meaninglessly, neither side listening to the other, until the same points are recycled by new combatants who didn't have time to read the first 150 comments.
As for the original poster, I'm as sympathetic to the gay cause as anyone (obviously), but there's such a thing as being TOO sensitive and giving us a bad name by childishly wanting to be represented everywhere, even in movies where it's not relevant and not appropriate. Sorry, my brother. I have to side with the breeders on this one.
I want to move to Europe. Americans need to fucking RELAX.
ridiculicious warned me this was scarier than Friends of God. I wouldn't say scarier, just as scary from a different aspect. Jesus Camp focuses on just the overzealous offspring of Evangelicals attending this crazy religious boot camp (which has since been closed down in the wake of the Ted Haggard scandal). The movie actually has some very funny moments, once you get past the whole terrifying youth brainwashing thing. The boy who is unofficially the focus of the whole film states he was "saved" at age 5. Saved from what??? What black, despicable sins can stain the soul of a 5-year-old? He said he turned to Jesus because he "wanted more" out of life. At age 5. If he sounds years ahead of his time, it's probably because he's only regurgitating what his parents drilled into him since he could understand spoken language.
Then there's Rachael, the 9-year-old who mutters a plea to Jesus to help her bowling game. "Great," Tery said. "A car bomb just went off in Baghdad because Jesus had to help her get a strike."
The Evangelicals harshly denounce Harry Potter (again, no clear cut reasons given for why), yet allow their children to be preached to by talking vegetables (the popular "Veggie Tales" series). In one scene the boys are playing with a flashlight in the dark, acting spooky and telling ghost stories; perfectly normal behavior at camp. Until one of the parents puts an end to their fun on the grounds that God only wants us to focus on the beautiful, pleasing things of this world. Then the next day the children are subjected to a good old-fashioned fire and brimstone lecture that's so vivid and so graphic that it starts them crying, writhing on the floor and speaking in tongues to show how full of the Spirit they are. These kids are going to need some SERIOUS therapy later in life.
We had to pause the DVD until we stopped laughing, however, when the female minister who runs the camp was shown blessing the pews, the roof, the walls, and the PowerPoint presentation. Yes, she said, "Now devil, you stay away from this PowerPoint presentation. We know how you like to mess with the tools of the Lord..." yadda yadda yadda. Speaking of the tools of the Lord, these people have no problem taking advantage of the ease and convenience of computer technology, while simultaneously spitting on and reviling all other manifestations of science. Hypocritical? Christians? No!
But the moment Tery and I really lost it was when little Rachael and her friends approached a group of older black men sitting in a park to try to convert them. She asked one, "If you were to die right now, do you think you'd go to heaven or hell?" He unhesitatingly answered heaven, and they awkwardly excused themselves pretty quickly. "I don't know, maybe they're already Christians or something," Rachael reasoned. Their 9-year-old minds were blown. However, this scene translated easily to South Park to me and Tery. Chef: "Hello, children!" with a song about going to heaven complete with sexually inappropriate lyrics. It is crucial to watch this movie with someone who has a great sense of humor, otherwise it's just chilling and disturbing.
Their rationale for "training" their children so intensely is because they believe all Muslim children are taught how to use hand grenades and automatic weapons from the time they can walk -- a rather ignorant and gross generalization. The female minister also muses that "you can't force children to do anything" (meaning their devout behavior is purely of their own making) -- well, yes and no. But they apparently see nothing wrong with continuing their political movement to force the rest of the country to bow to their agenda.
~*~
Speaking of annoying people with ridiculous beliefs, I wasted most of yesterday reading this thread over at IMDb about why 300 is so "ironically homophobic." I read it out of mild interest because the idea that the movie was homophobic never even crossed my mind. The gay man who started the thread had two sticking points: The fact that Hollywood had "de-gayed" the "most famously gay group of warriors in history," plus he felt the line about Athenians being "boy-lovers" was a gay slur. Go read it yourself if you have an hour or two to kill watching self-styled historians gradually devolve into increasingly puerile name-calling as they debate the true nature of pederasty and what really went on in the ranks of Greek soldiers thousands of years ago. Watch as the argument goes back and forth endlessly and meaninglessly, neither side listening to the other, until the same points are recycled by new combatants who didn't have time to read the first 150 comments.
As for the original poster, I'm as sympathetic to the gay cause as anyone (obviously), but there's such a thing as being TOO sensitive and giving us a bad name by childishly wanting to be represented everywhere, even in movies where it's not relevant and not appropriate. Sorry, my brother. I have to side with the breeders on this one.
I want to move to Europe. Americans need to fucking RELAX.
